Body image is not only what we see in a mirror. It can hold safety, identity, belonging, sexuality, health, aging, grief, family history, visibility, food, movement, and the question of whether we can trust the body we live in.
This collection grew from an ongoing Thriving Now study group led by Cathy Vartuli and Rick Wilkes. Cathy and Rick alternated leading the calls and sometimes facilitated together. The conversations followed what was emotionally alive for the people present, using inquiry, coaching, and tapping to explore the beliefs and experiences shaping their relationship with their bodies.
Start with a Guide that fits what you are experiencing, or browse the original sessions by date. The Guides refine the strongest teaching and tapping into focused public resources. The complete recordings remain available for people who want the fuller conversation.
The study group continued beyond the sessions collected here. Continue with Body Image Study Group — Part II for later conversations, new Guides, and recordings from 2011 through 2014.
Explore the Guides
Identity, visibility, and belonging
- Aging, Attractiveness, and the Mirror
- Body Image and the Fear of Not Belonging
- Can I Be Loved as I Am? Body Image After Childhood Rejection
- Dressing for Yourself: Trusting Your Body and Your Taste
- I Can’t Be Seen Until I Lose Weight
- Voice, Visibility, and the Body Response to Speaking Up
- When Beauty, Power, or Feeling Good Feels Unsafe
- When Strength and Independence Feel Unsafe
- When Thinness Is Armor and Body Change Feels Vulnerable
- Who Will I Be Without the Weight? Identity After Body Change
Food, weight, and movement
- After Too Many Diets: Rebuilding Cooperation with Your Body
- Comfort Eating Without the Shame Loop
- Movement Without Punishment or Forced Motivation
- Self-Acceptance Before Your Body Is Perfect
- Stop Weighing Yourself to Decide Your Worth
- When Distraction Moves from Food to the Internet
- When Food Means Love, Comfort, and Connection
- When Weight Becomes a Protest Against Your Family
- When You Don’t Feel Worth the Work of Caring for Your Body
- When Your Belly Is Trying to Protect You
Relationship with the body and emotions
- Building a Safer, Friendlier Relationship with Your Body
- Making Room for Pain, Weakness, and Grief
- Repairing the Relationship When You Feel You Betrayed Your Body
- When You Hate a Specific Part of Your Body
- When Your Stomach Holds the Feelings You Swallow
- Your Body Is a Board of Advisors: Listening Without Letting the Inner Driver Take Over
Health uncertainty, pain, and symptoms
- Medical Uncertainty Without Attacking Your Body
- Skin Shame and the Fear of Being Seen
- When Your Body Lives in Constant Threat
- When Your Body Won’t Get Better: Fear, Impatience, and Inevitable Decline
Explore the Original Sessions
The sessions below are arranged chronologically. Each transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.
2009
January 11, 2009
It won’t let me move forward until I am clear; Identifying and finding my own voice; Who will I be without the weight; How to deal with the attention; Eating because of stress; Not good enough; What’s keeping me stuck.
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Guides drawn from this session:
January 25, 2009
Dad wanted a boy; Confused and not sure how to get love; I had to be different to get Mom’s attention; I want to be loved for who I am; Dating again, not in my 20s; Why would someone want me.
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Guides drawn from this session:
February 8, 2009
I’m just too weak; I can’t be strong enough to have independence; My body feels bad, afraid I’m getting worse; Trapped in family life; Needing tenderness and loving care.
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Guides drawn from this session:
March 22, 2009
Ancestral self-judgment; Fearing that being unattractive means romantic love will not come; Fear of choosing someone like Dad; When feeling sexy does not feel safe.
Guides drawn from this session:
- Can I Be Loved as I Am? Body Image After Childhood Rejection
- When Beauty, Power, or Feeling Good Feels Unsafe
April 5, 2009
Feeling safe in my body; Self esteem issues; Being invisible; Immune system compromised; Wrinkles.
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Guides drawn from this session:
April 19, 2009
Nervous about being on a call; Can’t stand my stomach; Lectures on weight from Dad; I don’t want to pass this on to my son; Fear of getting fat; My dad called me an ugly child.
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Guides drawn from this session:
May 3, 2009
I need to be perfect to feel okay about myself; It’s not safe to feel too happy; Can’t trust anyone, it’s not safe; Nice things will be taken away; Is it safe to be a powerful, beautiful woman.
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Guides drawn from this session:
May 17, 2009
I have to keep busy so I don’t feel lonely; Mom said I was awkward and aloof; Changing how I see myself; Always being left out, rejected; Feeling of not belonging.
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Guides drawn from this session:
May 31, 2009
I’m afraid to move outside my comfort zone; My father ridiculed me for “showing off”; Trusting my body guidance; Would like to release this belly fat; I don’t trust myself to choose appropriate clothing.
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Guides drawn from this session:
June 14, 2009
Tightness in chest, need to say the right thing; Feeling off-center, lost hearing in one ear; Tapping on the Princess Bride, letting grudges go; Body is just not getting better.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Voice, Visibility, and the Body Response to Speaking Up
- When Your Body Won’t Get Better: Fear, Impatience, and Inevitable Decline
June 28, 2009
My body won’t do what I need it to; No one understands; Stomach not responding, feelings stuck inside; I don’t matter; Not able to move.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Building a Safer, Friendlier Relationship with Your Body
- When Your Stomach Holds the Feelings You Swallow
July 12, 2009
Losing weight is hard; Not feeling attractive at my age; Fear that this stress will make my CF worse; Shyness getting in the way.
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Guides drawn from this session:
July 26, 2009
It is not safe to celebrate; Whole family reinforces that; Body symptom, changing it to safe and competent; Losing weight is hard to do; They called me names and it hurt.
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Guides drawn from this session:
August 9, 2009
Stress and worry in my stomach; Accepting my body as it ages, wrinkles and sagging skin; I want to feel attractive; Low self esteem and energy trapped in fat cells.
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Guides drawn from this session:
August 23, 2009
I hate the fat on my stomach; I’m afraid of dying; I don’t want to have to wait for my body to heal; Irritated with my body.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- When You Hate a Specific Part of Your Body
- When Your Body Won’t Get Better: Fear, Impatience, and Inevitable Decline
September 27, 2009
Eating food that are bad; Asking my body for help; Embarrassed about my teeth and gums, am I still lovable; Still eating more than I want; Connection through food.
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Guides drawn from this session:
October 11, 2009
Gaining weight, feeling unlovable; Feeling unloved at birth; Learning to relax; Remembering to tap; Unfriendly relationship with body.
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Guides drawn from this session:
October 25, 2009
My image of myself as a sick person; Becoming whole, dealing with spitefulness; I can’t accept myself at this size; Weighing myself to decide my worth; Afraid to be beautiful; Making clear decisions about a medical procedure.
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Guides drawn from this session:
November 8, 2009
My body doesn’t like me; It’s hard work to pay attention to my body; My dad was a racoon; Why won’t my body work with me; Burning anger in my wrists; I want to be understood.
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Guides drawn from this session:
November 22, 2009
I love my hair, I hate my hair; Low self esteem; No choice, can’t get enough rest; Being sick is the only way I can set boundaries; Eating to punish myself; Not safe to feel good.
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Guides drawn from this session:
December 6, 2009
Having trouble listening to my body; How do I trust my body; Can I fix this; My beautiful skin; Remaining tension in my gut about losing weight; I hate the fat on my body; What are my hands trying to tell me.
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Guides drawn from this session:
December 20, 2009
I want to feel more attractive; Sad scared energy causing me to eat too much; Who would I be without this problem; Anger in my liver; Inner child looking for safety; Embarrassed when people notice I’ve lost weight.
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Guides drawn from this session:
2010
January 10, 2010
I’m doomed to bad health; I assume I’ll be fat; If I’m powerful, I’ll be alone; Ashamed of my body.
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Guides drawn from this session:
January 24, 2010
Craving for emotional freedom; Critic coming up about “my looks”; I can’t stand my own voice; I thought I was fat at 15; I buried my self-esteem issues in my gut; I refuse to exercise while I am still grieving; I feel confident. ( = NOT!).
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Guides drawn from this session:
February 7, 2010
I want to appreciate the positive more; How can I accept my body; Frozen and dissociated; I can’t present until I lose weight; Fertility at 42.
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Guides drawn from this session:
February 20, 2010
Conflict around food; To eat or not to eat, that is the question; I need the comfort but am scared I’ll get fat; Appreciating myself when I am not perfect.
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Guides drawn from this session:
March 14, 2010
Constant low level tension in stomach; Storing all my feelings in my stomach.
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Guides drawn from this session:
March 28, 2010
Very judgmental toward myself; I can’t accept my body until it’s perfect; Cast painful, feeling trapped; Pain back in my shoulders.
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Guides drawn from this session:
April 11, 2010
Using my weight to punish my parents, they deserve it; I feel ugly on the inside; Ancestral anger; High BP, cholesterol, worried about a heart attack; Rosacea, I can’t face it; My skin color is a disadvantage; Changed my eating, my body is the same.
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Guides drawn from this session:
April 25, 2010
I want to stop forcing myself; How can I be more at peace where I am; Why I gained weight…; In touch with physical trauma feelings; Victim thinking; Lots of emotions coming up.
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Guides drawn from this session:
May 9, 2010
Sinus infections and smoking; Belly protecting me; I’m not good enough; Not motivated to exercise; Self-sabotage around eating; Self conscious about my legs; My legs are afraid of moving forward.
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Guides drawn from this session:
May 23, 2010
Self-judgments; I judge my weight; Letting inner self shine; Contrast and sabotage; Knees flaring up; Pain in the butt.
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Guides drawn from this session:
June 6, 2010
Too many diets, my body doesn’t want to be forced; Why bother losing weight, I won’t be able to afford new clothes; I want to be myself, but I need his appreciation; I can’t be taken seriously if I’m ill.
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Guides drawn from this session:
June 20, 2010
Shaming and self-judgement; Worried people will think I’m ugly; Holding on to dull, boring, obese lifestyle; Sabotaging in the evening, the kitchen is closed; Always feeling wrong.
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Guides drawn from this session:
July 4, 2010
Changing distractions from food to internet; Afraid eyedrops for surgery will give me a reaction; My inner saboteur.
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Guides drawn from this session:
July 18, 2010
Whole lot of grief… waiting for the dam to break; Listening to the body; Getting to peak of letting go; I can’t accept my body/emotions the way they are; Overwhelmed lately; I need to keep them happy (even though the situation is anything BUT happy).
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Guides drawn from this session:
August 1, 2010
Rewarding self with desserts; Feeling fat; Breaking diet before bed; Calming self down; Not feeling respected.
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Guides drawn from this session:
August 29, 2010
Tooth ache, lots of fear; Eye problems, pressure in my life; I was supposed to guess when to be responsible and when to be a child; Not safe to love, it’s not safe.
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Guides drawn from this session:
September 12, 2010
Conflicts with smoking; I don’t want to take care of myself, it doesn’t matter; Never making any progress; Don’t trust my body; Lucky to be alive; Afraid to be alone.
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Guides drawn from this session:
October 3, 2010
I’m not good enough; Hatred of specific body part; Pain and sickness, fear in my body; I destroyed myself, bulimia for 15 years has ruined my digestive system; Stomach ache from speaking up and being heard.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Voice, Visibility, and the Body Response to Speaking Up
- When You Hate a Specific Part of Your Body
- When Your Stomach Holds the Feelings You Swallow
October 17, 2010
Mad at body for being sick, no tears allowed; No room for pain or weakness; What if nothing changes when I lose weight; Trapped and afraid back then.
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Guides drawn from this session:
October 31, 2010
I feel fat and ugly; Blaming the pain; I don’t know my body any more; Angry and betrayed by my body; Water in legs.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Repairing the Relationship When You Feel You Betrayed Your Body
- When Your Body Won’t Get Better: Fear, Impatience, and Inevitable Decline
November 14, 2010
I’ve betrayed my body; Sweets craving; My body hates me, I hate my body; Getting older, you’re not what you were; I need to be an impossible case to be special.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Aging, Attractiveness, and the Mirror
- Repairing the Relationship When You Feel You Betrayed Your Body
November 28, 2010
Blaming myself for ruining my body; I want to be invisible; Everyone knows more than me; People judge me for my weight; Not allowed to flow.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Body Image and the Fear of Not Belonging
- I Can’t Be Seen Until I Lose Weight
- Repairing the Relationship When You Feel You Betrayed Your Body
December 19, 2010
Am I worth that much work; Taking my confidence to the next level; Sometimes we have to live with a long-standing fear; Struggled my whole life to lose weight; Keeping my world small; The sides of struggle.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- After Too Many Diets: Rebuilding Cooperation with Your Body
- Movement Without Punishment or Forced Motivation
- When You Don’t Feel Worth the Work of Caring for Your Body
2011
January 2, 2011
I have to get it just right; I’m not getting it; Cranky body, doesn’t want to participate; Depression, we loved the other sub; I’m not ok to feel good. If I’m happy something bad will happen.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- When Beauty, Power, or Feeling Good Feels Unsafe
- When You Don’t Feel Worth the Work of Caring for Your Body
January 16, 2011
I want to support my body so I don’t need medication; Food and social interaction mixed together; Surgery tomorrow, feeling nervous despite all I’ve done; I don’t want to get attached; Low energy; Constipation.
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Guides drawn from this session:
January 30, 2011
“Being thin” for me is like having armor… pregnant = vulnerable; Irritated, body betrayed; Every time I look in the mirror I see fat; My “extra fat”; Not motivated at ALL to go to the gym… take baby steps instead; Shoulders in the mirror.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Movement Without Punishment or Forced Motivation
- When Thinness Is Armor and Body Change Feels Vulnerable
- Who Will I Be Without the Weight? Identity After Body Change
February 13, 2011
Always fighting to make up for being powerless; I thought they traded me in; I HATE my body; Enjoying the process of being pregnant; What will they think.
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Guides drawn from this session:
March 6, 2011
How many years have I wasted; Fear of fat; Taking care of myself while Dad is here; Moving energy in my foot; Who would be attracted to me.
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Guides drawn from this session:
March 20, 2011
I must dress to be acceptable to others; My inner children are fighting; Rushing through my meals; Feeling safe expressing myself; Angry and Guilty.
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Guides drawn from this session:
April 3, 2011
I need to try harder; When I feel threatened I criticize; It took a long time to get here; My stomach is my weak spot, my achilles heel.
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Guides drawn from this session:
April 17, 2011
I feel vengeful and unkind; Rosacea breaking out; Don’t deserve to be happy; Lower back ache; Heaviness in heart.
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Guides drawn from this session:
May 8, 2011
Feeling guilty and bad about my body; Thinking about visiting mom and eating more; Not smart enough to learn that; Mom said I was disgusting and no one would ever love me; Female problem; Angry and unheard about safety.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Can I Be Loved as I Am? Body Image After Childhood Rejection
- Voice, Visibility, and the Body Response to Speaking Up
May 29, 2011
Skin condition making me feel embarrassed and disgusting; Use food to distract me from boredom; Angry at God; Using my body as an excuse to avoid relationships; Waiting for biopsy results, body feeling anxious.
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Guides drawn from this session:
- Medical Uncertainty Without Attacking Your Body
- Skin Shame and the Fear of Being Seen
- When Distraction Moves from Food to the Internet
June 12, 2011
Fluid/Floating; Fast food craving… poor growing up; Don’t tell ME how much I can eat; Move connection into my body; Working of rosacea; Body ills.
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Guides drawn from this session:
June 26, 2011
They all laughed (sailing trauma); Girding my loins for going home, highest weight; There is nothing I can do about my skin; My father said I wasn’t his child, want to be my own person.
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Guides drawn from this session:
July 17, 2011
Worried about stress reactions; Pressure in jaw; I think it’s going to be the same, but I’m different; Constant threat; Clenching fists all the time; I feel depleted and out of energy.
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Guides drawn from this session:
July 31, 2011
Listening to the body, choosing care without force, and letting different parts of us have a voice.
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Guides drawn from this session:
These recordings include personal experiences and reflect the understanding available at the time. Emotional regulation and tapping can support a kinder relationship with the body, but they are not substitutes for qualified medical, mental health, trauma, or eating-disorder care.