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From the archived Rick and Carol EFT podcast series. The series is complete.
Episode #5—How can I improve my self-esteem NOW using EFT?
– You can raise your self-esteem right now by accepting where you are right now… but we usually get stuck WAITING for things to get better before we allow ourselves to feel good.
- Using EFT and the law of attraction, you can make a shift to increasing your self-esteem while changing the underlying negative energies that are causing the behaviors you don’t want in your life.
Companion Guide
Low self-esteem often creates a condition for self-acceptance: “I can feel okay about myself after I lose the weight, fix the relationship, change the job, succeed, or stop making mistakes.” The finish line moves, and the person who needs care now remains unacceptable.
Acceptance does not mean giving up on change. It means refusing to make your worth wait for the change.
This Guide Helps With
- postponing self-respect until you improve
- feeling broken, unacceptable, or not good enough
- hearing old criticism from parents, teachers, or coaches
- using the “yes/no” conflict instead of forcing a positive claim
- building self-esteem an inch at a time
Find the Old Drip of Evidence
Low self-esteem is not always rooted in one dramatic event. A look of disdain, comparison with a sibling, a coach’s verdict, or years of negative talk can create a steady drumbeat of “not good enough.”
When a memory flashes during tapping, note it. A specific event can be worked with more directly than the entire identity of low self-esteem.
Let Both Sides Speak
If “I love myself” feels false, do not force it. Try the conflict:
- I do not like myself / part of me does.
- I am broken / I may not need to be fixed.
- Nothing works for me / some things have helped a little.
- I am not good enough / what if I have been enough all along?
The alternating phrases are not confusion. They let the dominant belief and the quieter possibility occupy the same conversation.
Tapping: Accepting Myself While I Am Changing
Side of the Hand: Even though I am having trouble accepting myself and I am not okay with who I am, I deeply respect all these feelings.
Even though I am not where I want to be, I am open to accepting myself anyway.
Even though I think I should not accept myself because I have not changed enough, I can meet who I am right now.
Top of the Head: I am having trouble accepting myself.
Eyebrow: I do not like myself.
Side of the Eye: I am not where I want to be.
Under the Eye: Shouldn’t I be changing?
Under the Nose: Shouldn’t I be working harder on myself?
Chin: I feel broken.
Collarbone: What if I do not need to be fixed to be worthy?
Under the Arm: I can accept that part of me does not accept me yet.
Top of the Head: What if I have been good enough all along?
Eyebrow: I am enough right now, while I am changing.
Side of the Eye: Some things do work for me.
Under the Eye: I can learn without attacking my worth.
Under the Nose: Old voices do not define all of me.
Chin: I am becoming more forgiving of myself.
Collarbone: I appreciate who I am and how I feel.
Under the Arm: Self-acceptance can grow an inch at a time.
Take a breath. Notice which old voice, event, or positive phrase created the strongest reaction. That is useful material for the next round.
Let Change Come From Belonging to Yourself
Choose one behavior you want to change. Write how you speak to yourself about it now, then write how you would speak to someone worthy of care who had the same struggle. Use the second voice without denying consequences or responsibility.
Self-esteem becomes less dependent on performance when you practice being on your own side before, during, and after the next attempt.
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