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From the archived Rick and Carol EFT podcast series. The series is complete.
Episode #3—How can I make the best of it?
– We usually make the WORST of it when we try to control that which is clearly out of our control.
- When things are going wrong (not to our liking), we tend to just see what is right in front of us and we start asking a question that lower our vibration: Why Me??
- Listen to how you can make peace with where you are and shift an experience that isn’t going well to one where you might even enjoy the process!
- Learn how to shift your vibration, even around screaming and kicking kids in the airplane seats next to you, using the power of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and the Law of Attraction.
Companion Guide
When something is happening that you do not want and cannot control, the nervous system may narrow around the immediate problem. You feel powerless, irritated, or unsafe; the mind repeats “This should be different”; and useful options become harder to see. Trying urgently to control another person or the whole situation often intensifies that state.
Making the best of it does not mean liking what is happening, pretending it is fair, or becoming passive. It begins by admitting the current fact: “This is what I am beside right now. What support and choice are still available to me?” Acceptance stops spending all available energy fighting reality and makes room for a response.
In the recording, Carol describes boarding a long flight expecting two empty seats, only to have a mother and two energetic young children take them. For hours she felt irritated and tried internally to make the children become quiet. Once she soothed some of her own agitation, a different possibility appeared: she offered to sit beside one child and engaged him with paper, pens, names, and drawings. The external situation had not obeyed her. Her relationship to it changed enough for warmth, help, and creativity to become available.
This gives us a practical sequence:
- Name the control struggle honestly: “I want this to be different,” “I feel helpless,” or “I cannot get a grip.”
- Find its physical expression—tight shoulders, gripping hands, a twitchy arm, pressure in the chest, or whatever is true for you.
- Tap or use another grounding practice for your own activation. The purpose is self-soothing, not using a technique to control the other person.
- Look for a modest opening rather than a perfect outcome: “What if I could be peaceful even while this is unresolved?” or “What could make the next ten minutes more workable?”
- Notice the choices that become visible as the body settles. You may set a boundary, ask for help, offer help, change seats, slow down, or simply stop carrying the incident into the next part of your day.
Sometimes the most effective support happens before the uncontrollable moment. If travel predictably activates anxiety, begin before leaving home. If meetings with a certain person leave you braced, settle your body before the meeting. This is “pre-paving”: noticing the likely trigger and giving your system support before it reaches full alarm.
Relief can be valuable even when it lasts only through the present situation. At other times, working with the core feeling changes a recurring response for much longer. There is no need to promise permanence. The immediate value is that a less-activated person can perceive more, choose more, and often bring a different quality into the shared space.
This applies well beyond travel: traffic, delays, a child who will not cooperate, a difficult boss, another person’s mood, a body that is not behaving as desired, or any circumstance in which control is limited. You may not control what is happening, but you can support the part of you that is frightened or furious about that fact. From there, making the best of it becomes an act of agency rather than resignation.
Tapping: I Want This to Be Different
Use this when you notice yourself gripping, bracing, or urgently trying to make another person or situation change.
Side of the Hand: Even though I feel out of control, and I really want this to be different, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.
Even though I feel this anxiety and pressure in my body, I choose to feel a little more calm and quiet.
Even though part of me believes I must get a grip on this whole situation, I am open to discovering what is actually mine to influence.
Top of the Head: I want it to be different.
Eyebrow: I do not want to do it this way.
Side of the Eye: I feel helpless.
Under the Eye: Part of me feels out of control.
Under the Nose: I cannot get a grip.
Chin: This anxiety in my body.
Collarbone: I am trying to control what I cannot control.
Under the Arm: No wonder my whole system feels braced.
Top of the Head: What if I do not have to control all of it?
Eyebrow: What if I could relax and be peaceful?
Side of the Eye: I can soothe the part of me that feels unsafe.
Under the Eye: I can make peace with what is here right now.
Under the Nose: I can notice what is still mine to choose.
Chin: A request, a boundary, some preparation, or some help.
Collarbone: I am open to a more workable possibility.
Under the Arm: I can make the best of this without pretending I wanted it.
Take a breath. Ask: “What is one choice I can see now that I could not see while I was gripping?”
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