– I hate being DEPRIVED
– RULES… and more RULES
– Must be All or NOTHING
– Mindful eating

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When we grow up in an unsafe environment, our brain searches desperately for some way to be safe. In such an unsafe place, our lives are chaotic and crazy and there really isn’t anything to hold onto. Our brain will latch on to whatever it can. Sometimes it grabs bizarre “rules” to explain what’s going on. Or it comes

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– I don’t know what’s going to happen.
– Worst thing in the world.
– Afraid of freezing again.
– Don’t upset her!

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– I don’t trust myself
– I don’t trust anyone to love me
– I’m not good enough, I don’t trust people (or myself) to value me
– I don’t trust myself to take care of myself

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– Fear of being caught being incompetent
– Terrified that something bad will happen if I make the wrong decision
– Horrible consequences in the past
– Doubt my ability to take a second step.

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– “Good” and “bad” expectations.
– Unrealistic expecations
– Expectations of self and body
– Wanted them to notice what I’d done
– Pain, expected my body to heal
– It always comes back!

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– Disconnection
– Mouth trauma
– Holding onto trauma in house
– I’m inadequate for this task
– Medical trauma

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– I’ve taken care of everyone since I was a kid
– I MUST make them happy
– I have to make up for all that time
– I have to save them, no one else will
– My parents needed me to be in charge

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– I don’t deserve to be happy
– I can’t feel better than my mother
– Parental programing, shame and guilt
– I’m not up to Mom’s standards:

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We have enjoyed the insights and teachings of Dr. Phil Mollon, a British psychoanalyst who works with a combined attention to the dynamics of the mind and the energy fields of the body – resulting in the approach called Psychoanalytic Energy Psychotherapy. Here is an article of his on Trauma.

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