When Your Fears Get in the Way of Making a Difference

Presented by Rick Wilkes, Cathy Vartuli

Automatic MacWhisper transcript with speaker detection; light human review is still recommended.

**Rick Wilkes**
*00:04*
When your fears get in the way of making a difference. Hi Cathy.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*00:11*
Hey Eric. I'm so glad you're here. We get to discuss this with these amazing people tonight.

**Rick Wilkes**
*00:16*
Mm-hmm. Well just uh Just the words making a difference activate something in my body. And it's a bit of a tug-a-war, even to this day. I I want to make a difference. I want the things that I do and the things that I say and even this call to make a difference in the lives of people. And yet there's so much that's uncertain. And one of the key things for me is that when things are uncertain, the primitive brain is alm virtually always has an opinion about it

**Cathy Vartuli**
*00:55*
Mm-hmm. It does. Um I think that the biggest thing I notice is I work with a lot of clients on this too in City U, but people will think that they'll hear all these thoughts in their heads and they think they're true that um they can't make that big a difference, someone else will do it better. Um they don't have enough to offer, they're not ready. If they lose ten pounds or practice this or do that, then they'll be ready. Or maybe not. And I just want to let point out that the primitive brain, the survivor part of our brain, is super clever at having us distracted I for a long time wouldn't share my weight and I didn't wanna I didn't want to talk in public until I lost weight. Um because I was afraid that people would judge Rick for being my business partner or me for um not being perfect before I help people. And there was a lot of years when I didn't reach out and didn't do things. And I was listening to those voices that were like Oh, you're too fat, you're not ready, um, when you get this all handled, then you can go out and make a difference. And it was really a part of my brain that was saying was trying to protect me very much from being hurt or judged or harmed or whatever it thought I was gonna was gonna happen to me. And in those years I didn't get out there. I didn't do things. I didn't date. I didn't have a lot of friends because I was afraid And I just wanna a good friend of ours, Reed Mahawka, calls them hamsters in your head. You know, those voices you hear. He calls them squeaking hamsters. And I I like that analogy because It changes it from this voice that is the truth and you must listen to it to a squeaky hamster that's just squeaking away because that's what the hamster thinks it's gonna do. doesn't mean the sa the hamster is is telling the truth or that it's bad. It just means that it's doing what it thinks will protect you. And it could be very, very wrong. And you could be just kind of hanging out waiting for your life to come back around and maybe, you know, I don't want uh any of us to wake up when we're at the end of our lives and realize that we waited all that time and didn't make a difference, didn't touch lives and didn't feel inspired by what we were doing in the world. So I'd like you just to take a moment to appreciate yourself for showing up tonight. A lot of people are sitting at home, making dinner, cleaning up, watching TV. You're here listening and discovering where your fears are that might be holding yourself back, and that's a big thing. And I know some of you hear this often from me, but it's those little steps that are profound that make a difference. And by showing up tonight and examining where your world might be kept small by fears. That's one of those profound steps. And it really helps to acknowledge. We are very, very good at acknowledging when we screw up or make a mistake or where we're afraid. We're not so good at noticing where we're making a difference. So if you want to make a difference in the world, just realize that by being here tonight, you're making a difference in your world, which can lead to a difference in other people's world. So thank you.

**Rick Wilkes**
*04:16*
Everyone take a deep breath for a moment and feel yourself present here, live or on the recording. This is a moment in time for you. And I know that there were times in my life where I felt there was something that n wanted to emerge, a change, a a real transformation. And I started building up energy toward it, but there was something, a fear that was there. And This is an opportunity to get some clarity. And also we're going to do some tapping. We're going to use the EFT tapping to start shifting the energy of that fear. And may not go uh if your fear is around uncertainty, for example, you may not be absolutely positive, 100% certain that what you're going to do is going to give you the results you want Well, w welcome. Great to have you. That means you're doing something that's not predictable. And love and laughter and being of of generous service in the world and and being creative and an artist and um a teacher and an educator and and uh a healing presence in the lives of others, these are not things that fall into the, oh, I can be certain category. And we're we love having you in our world. If you're aware as you think about the kind of difference that you want to make in the world. And if you're not clear what it looks like, tune into what it would feel like. I did not know that anything about emotional freedom coaching, I assure you. What I did know at the time that I really was feeling this energy coming about was that I wanted to feel connected. And I wanted to bring people together in an emotionally honest way. Not superficially, not to talk about the weather, although we do sometimes do that before the call. Now we're in it together as a group, and we're talking and engaging around the energies that might stop us. And I remember that if I when I really started journaling and tuning into it, for me, I felt the fear of some people not supporting that. In fact Um some of the people that were closest to me did not support my movement from being a technologist to being an emotional freedom coach. Some of them aren't even in my life anymore. And so a combination of both fear and intuition, perhaps, was stopping me It stopped me for a while. I did not get the momentum that I could have if I had had tapping at that point, if I had had a circle of support at that time. If I had even understood what was going on inside my body. I just felt I didn't understand that there was this dynamic in the primitive brain that was, like Cathy said, very very cleverly launching hamsters and making it feel like No no no no no no stay safe stay safe my life would not be what it is you all would not be a part of my life the friends and and the thousands of people who have blessed my life would not be there if I had stopped with that fear. And so we are we are devoted to helping you get past those fears so that you can make a difference.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*07:55*
Yeah. So could you if you are in a good space to do this if you're driving a card, please then close your eyes. I'd like you just to notice your feet on the floor. We do this a lot. If you can stay present with this, I know that some of you have heard this before, but see if you can stay present with this, because it's all about being in the now and your body now That's where the truth is and that's where your power is. Feel your feet on the floor. Actually wiggle your toes and notice whatever texture and temperature you're feeling with them. wiggle your butt in your seat and notice how you're being supported. You don't have to gravity is taking care of things. The universe has got you held and you can actually be here right now without having to worry about holding yourself up. And take a nice slow deep breath in. You can close your eyes if you're not driving. And I'd like you to invite yourself to tune into the energy of all the people that are present here right now. There's a bunch of us. We're all here with a common purpose, and that's very powerful. We're all here at the same time to touch the world and make it a different place for us to live in. So it's a it's this beautiful synergy where we get to give out energy and help other people feel good and that helps us live in a world that we enjoy living in because we're surrounded by these amazing people. And we don't have to do it alone. Right now, there's all these other people tuned into this energy and this intention And we're here and we can just let our hearts rest in that feeling of being in tribe and being in community and having a common purpose with our fellows. And everybody's purpose may look a little different. The way we want to make a difference is very different often, but the core intention, people that come here to Thriving Now and work with Rick and I There is a gentleness and a generosity and a lovingness uniformly. We haven't met people that don't have that here. Just rest in the feeling of I get to feel this right now and be nourished I get to let my fears know that it's not we're not doing it alone because that's a big part of it. Our primitive brain, our survival brain does not want to be alone out there in the world. That's really scary You're not alone, you're loved and supported. And if you can just feel yourself, some of you may just feel yourself relaxed in this. Just like a dose of recharging where you get to to fill yourself up right here, right now.

**Rick Wilkes**
*10:34*
Hmm.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*10:35*
And then I'd like you to ask yourself if there was one fear that's holding you back from Just being a little bit more out there, you know, speaking up, inviting people, doing something that would make my world a little better. What is that one thing And I encourage you to write down whatever comes up for you right now because this is really powerful. When we're in a safe space and we feel held The information that comes forward is often very true and very uh connected to what we we can focus on to make a difference. So just notice that thing and write down whatever the fear is. And we're going to do some tapping in just a minute, but I want you to notice that being consciously aware of a fear means that you're a big chunk of the way forward towards getting past it. Most people that are very traumatized or stuck behind a fear aren't even aware they have a fear. They'll have other fears. They'll have other things they focus on. other distractions. It may be that they have a lot of clutter, so they don't have to realize that they're feeling very afraid of being judged if they go out in the world. or they may focus on their weight or their looks or their lack of knowledge or whatever it is that prevents them from having to face the big fear. So in this moment Right now, right here, being held. What do you notice the fear is? And take a nice slow deep breath.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:22*
And where do you feel it in your body? I'm going to invite all of us to say it out loud. What is your fear? If you're in a place where you can verbalize it out loud, please do. And if you can't imagine saying it inside your head. And notice what happens in your body. And give it a number, zero to ten. How strong does this feel to you? And I'm gonna tell you a little trick. If you're not feeling a lot but you're really feeling that this is the fear, right? Your body's not reacting very much. It feels sort of numb even, or even checked out. Write down how checked out it is. And if you get a number in your head, a visual number, a number that you hear in your inner hearing. go with that. Because I can feel something at a nine. Like right now this what I'm working on is it's a nine. But my body Isn't my primitive brain around this subject is is blocking it. I can feel a whisper of it underneath my chin. Right? And I can feel a tension in the center of my chest. And I share that with you because if you're for the things that really stop us There can be a need and a benefit for like scanning. How does your face feel right now as you say this? Your throat, the center of your chest The area behind your heart, what happens there? How about your gut? Your lower belly. Say it again. What happens in your lower belly? Is your pelvis still there? Does it still feel like you're uh you've got genitals or did they go running away? Because the primitive brain is we'll absolutely shut down our connection to our sexuality. It is one of the indicators that we're in a a place of reaction triggered. And check your legs, your knees, your feet. Is there a gap between your your hips and your feet where you you check out? We've been talking about fears and and you know a lot of times people are thinking that this is an intellectual thing. Oh, I'm scared of mice, or you know, I'm I'm scared of of hamsters. Um One of the things that that Cathy and I have focused on from the very beginning is what's the body sensation? What is happening in your body around this? Because these are all portals. The primitive brain does give us clues in the body. And a lot of times the thoughts and the things that run around in our head, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, are like symptoms. And it's the body sensations that can really help us. Would you like to lead us in some tapping, Cathy, on This fear that has come up for people and what they're noticing in their body.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*16:11*
Yeah. So again, take a nice slow deep breath. And while the collective energy, this powerful energy of us all being here together, help that let things move through you if that feels safe to you. Another nice slow deep breath. Karate chuck. Even though I have these feelings.

**Rick Wilkes**
*16:36*
Even though I have these feelings

**Cathy Vartuli**
*16:39*
I'm okay.

**Rick Wilkes**
*16:42*
I'm okay.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*16:44*
Even though these feelings aren't always very pleasant

**Rick Wilkes**
*16:49*
Huh. Even though these feelings are not always pleasant.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*16:54*
There's signals from my body.

**Rick Wilkes**
*16:57*
They are signals from my body.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:00*
Gently drawing my attention.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:04*
Drawing my attention

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:07*
And there's nothing really wrong.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:09*
And there's nothing really wrong. Hmm.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:13*
Even though I have these feelings.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:17*
Even though I have these feelings

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:20*
I can move forward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:22*
I can move forward.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:25*
And I can resolve any conflicts that are holding me back.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:30*
And I can resolve any conflicts that are holding me back.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:34*
Top of the head. I do have some conflicts.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:39*
Yes, I have some conflicts.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:42*
Eyebrow, I wish I didn't.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:45*
I so wish I didn't.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:49*
I I wanna be someone who's dynamic and making a change in the world.

**Rick Wilkes**
*17:53*
I want to be someone who's dynamic and making a change in the world.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*17:58*
Under the eye. I want to feel proud of myself when I look at where I am.

**Rick Wilkes**
*18:03*
I want to feel proud of myself when I look at where I am.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*18:07*
And sometimes my fear gets in the way.

**Rick Wilkes**
*18:11*
And sometimes that fear gets in the way.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*18:15*
Chin, well I have a secret for you.

**Rick Wilkes**
*18:19*
Well, I have a secret for you.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*18:21*
Colourbone, that's true for everybody.

**Rick Wilkes**
*18:25*
That is true for everybody.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*18:27*
Under the arm. Some people practice walking through the feelings a little bit more than others.

**Rick Wilkes**
*18:33*
Some people practice walking through the feelings a little more than others.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*18:38*
Top of that, and over time that makes all the difference in the world.

**Rick Wilkes**
*18:43*
And over time, that makes all the difference in the world.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*18:47*
Nice slow deep breath.

**Rick Wilkes**
*18:57*
Now say it again out loud Or in your head. And notice if the feelings have changed. One of the beauties, and I didn't realize this when I started tapping, I was always shooting for the feeling to go to zero. But honestly, around things like emerging and confidence and clarity, these are continuums. And what the primitive brain loves is the trend. Oh, you're soothing me and it's safe now. Okay. So dropping from a nine to an eight is a really good thing. It's powerful work. And your ability to now move a little bit more energy has shifted. And this is what we've seen, and that's what we're we come together as a group, as Cathy said. These are things that affect all of us in my meditation this morning I I started thriving now because I saw that people were suffering from traumas, sexual abuse and accidents and all kinds of things that had occurred to them. And what I have witnessed over these over ten years is that people can go from suffering to okay to thriving. But then something else happens. They want to emerge to the next more lovely, beautiful, expressive version of themselves, and guess what? New fears are here. New things are coming up. We're bumping into beliefs that didn't apply back then. No, and especially if you're wanting to be out in the world engaging and co-creating. Um that represents different types of engagements. And anytime we engage differently, our primitive brain has an opinion. And that's why reprogramming your primitive brain as a skill, not just an activity, but as a skill that you cultivate and develop I feel is one of the most important skills for thriving and emerging and then thriving again and emerging and thriving again so that you are s you're going from where you are now into Growth and expression and authentic curiosity for the rest of your life. Aging is a process of contraction. It is. And I'm not talking about what your skin tone is. I'm talking about becoming old. The people that are old, old, old have lost their curiosity. The fears have continued to contract them and contract them and contract them. They've gone from a nine to a ten to a I don't even I'm not even going to touch it with a thousand foot pole around fears of emerging. And today, this is by going from a nine to an eight, it you've sent a youthful signal into your brain. Yeah, no, we're not done yet. I'd like to do some tapping on that. Alright? Again, take a deep breath and get into your body. Maybe stomp your feet a little bit if that's appealing to you or wiggle your toes. Rub your knees. Use your hands if you can to massage your knees for a moment. Most people ignore their body, and your body's going to be coming with you on these future adventures And take a deep breath, maybe put your hand over your heart too. And tune into the fear again. Unless you some tapping. Great job. Even though I still have some of this fear.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*22:40*
Even though I have some of this fear.

**Rick Wilkes**
*22:45*
I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*22:49*
I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

**Rick Wilkes**
*22:54*
Even though my primitive brain is afraid of some things.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*22:59*
Even though my primitive brain is afraid of some things.

**Rick Wilkes**
*23:03*
It's okay.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*23:06*
It's okay.

**Rick Wilkes**
*23:07*
That's normal. That's normal. Even though I thought these fears weren't normal

**Cathy Vartuli**
*23:17*
Even though I thought the spheres weren't normal.

**Rick Wilkes**
*23:20*
They are normal.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*23:23*
They are normal.

**Rick Wilkes**
*23:25*
And I'm learning to ease my fears right now.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*23:30*
And I'm learning to ease my fears right now.

**Rick Wilkes**
*23:34*
Top of the head. These fears and all that they mean to me.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*23:42*
These fears and all that they mean to me.

**Rick Wilkes**
*23:48*
Hey body, it's okay.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*23:52*
Hey body, it's okay

**Rick Wilkes**
*23:54*
Side of the eye. Hey Primitive Brain, thanks for helping keep me safe.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*24:00*
Hey Primitive Brain, thanks for keeping me safe.

**Rick Wilkes**
*24:03*
Under the And I want to have vitality.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*24:09*
And I want to have vitality.

**Rick Wilkes**
*24:12*
Under the nose. And I want to grow and make a difference.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*24:16*
And I want to grow and make a difference.

**Rick Wilkes**
*24:20*
And I can't be a hundred percent certain it's gonna work out perfectly like I would love it to.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*24:26*
And I can't be a hundred percent certain that it's gonna work out just like I want it to.

**Rick Wilkes**
*24:33*
Calamone. And that's part of the mystery of it all.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*24:38*
And that's part of the mystery of it at all.

**Rick Wilkes**
*24:41*
Under the arm. And I'm open to really embracing the mystery.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*24:49*
I've opened to really embracing the mystery.

**Rick Wilkes**
*24:52*
Top ahead. And I sense soothing comfort to my fears and my body right now.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*24:58*
And I have some soothing comfort to my body right now. Nice big breath. And I think that was so true for me. I nobody taught me how to handle fear or process the energies I was feeling and I had traumas in my life that no I had no idea how to handle when I was little. Like we don't know how to handle it unless someone models it for us. So fear is very, very painful for me. And I would see my friends making mistakes and trying new things and I was I felt like a different species. I felt like I was hiding on the side and I would watch them go stepping out like it was nothing. You know, try these they would go on these mad adventures. They weren't actually that mad, but to me my primitive brain was like, that might be dangerous How can you just go to another city and hang out with friends that she've met a few times? Like that seems scary. And they would have wonderful times and I felt so sad because I couldn't understand how they could do that. My body physically hurt so bad when I was afraid. And what was happening is my my primitive brain had associated the fear and the pain and un unknown circumstances with danger, danger, and it would flood my body with chemicals And I would be tense and scared and awkward and when we're frozen we're not very resilient. We're not able to take care of ourselves very well. And as I started tapping more and more, things started to get easier. And I knew things were changing. Um, I would go out with friends and people tired me out because my brain was always on alert and I was scared of everybody Um and uh I would always make an excuse to leave early whenever my friends and I would hang out and I'd have dinner with them and then I had to get back for you know, my cat needed to take a walk or whatever it was. I would make some excuse And I realized things were really changing for me when we went out for a nice dinner and I said, Hey, do you guys want to go get coffee? And they looked at me like I was an alien because I was just so opposite of who I'd been for so long And yet I wasn't tired. I wasn't exhausted from being around people. I was like, yeah, that would be fun. And I realized I was starting to turn into one of those people I always envied before that I was really excited about, like trying something a little bit newer. And the really cool thing is just like, you know, once you start building up muscles, it's hard at first, but as you start going it gets easier and easier And, you know, now I have a lot of amazing adventures in my life that, you know, people are like, really you did that? And I'm like, yeah, it was a s really fun. And I wasn't not being unsafe. I'm not being uh reckless But I'm taking I'm taking myself into situations where, yeah, it could be a little embarrassing, it could be a little awkward, and I'm still okay And I love the life I live now. I was so terrified and bored at the same time in my old life. It's hard to be terrified and bored at the same time Would you lead us?

**Rick Wilkes**
*28:11*
I was going to have you uh lead us in some tapping around it being okay to be awkward because I think that's one of the core fears for people that If especially if you're accomplished in some area of your life, any area of your life, that become being awkward again, that's part of the emerging And it's something that our primitive brain really throws a question about. There's a lot of concern about it. And you've really gotten y you of you have made such a transformation around awkwardness that I've I I would love for you to share some of that energy and the tapping with us.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*28:47*
Well, I just yeah, I would love to do that. And um one thing I want to share on that before I tap before we do some tapping is I thought I was the only one who felt awkward. I would look around the world and I would see, you know, occasionally I'd see someone be a little awkward, but I was convinced everybody else had it together and knew what was going on. And it was a big revelation when someone said, No, most people feel awkward. I was like, What? Really? Are you sure? And they're like, Yeah But people don't talk about that because no one wants to be have people think they know that, you know, have anyone say uh no one wants to say they're awkward because like that's horrible The thing is we watch people on TV who rehearsed it fifteen times and had someone else write the script for them and then if they muck it up they get to redo it or edit that part out Life is not like that. Life is often awkward and especially when we're doing something new. Especially when we're trying something we're not it's outside our comfort zones And one of my favorite phrases ever is that the magic happens outside our comfort zone. Life does not change, it does not become wonderful and amazing outside our comfort zone So take a nice slow deep tha. And tune into the part of you that just does not want to feel awkward That like, oh my god, if I admit I felt uh that I feel awkward, people will never admire me, they won't want to be my friends, they'll run for me or pick on me And sadly that was true. The awkward ones in in kindergarten were often picked on. It was our the bullying in our society is pretty abysmal But realize right now that you're an adult listening to this. And if someone really picks on you, you can tell them no or you can leave. You're not trapped. So karate chat. Even though I do sometimes feel awkward

**Rick Wilkes**
*30:34*
Even though I do sometimes feel awkward.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*30:38*
And I thought that was a sign there was something wrong.

**Rick Wilkes**
*30:42*
And I thought that was a sign that there was something really wrong.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*30:48*
The truth is everybody sometimes feels awkward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*30:52*
The truth is everybody sometimes feels awkward.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*30:57*
And sometimes they feel the most awkward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*31:01*
And sometimes they feel the most awkward.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*31:04*
When they're doing something new

**Rick Wilkes**
*31:07*
When they're doing something new that might make a difference.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*31:11*
Yeah. So maybe it's a sign I'm heading in the right direction if I feel awkward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*31:16*
So maybe it is a sign that I'm heading in the right direction if I feel awkward.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*31:22*
Top of the head, I always avoid feeling awkward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*31:26*
I always avoid feeling awkward.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*31:29*
Eyebrow, I blame myself for feeling awkward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*31:32*
I blame myself for fe Feeling awkward What if I don't have to blame myself anymore?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*31:44*
And maybe I what if it's cool that I am powerful enough to do things that are new?

**Rick Wilkes**
*31:50*
What if it's cool that I am powerful enough to do things that are new? Even if I'm awkward at it.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*31:58*
That means when I'm awkward, I'm actually moving in the right direction.

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:03*
That ac that means that when I'm awkward, I'm actually moving in the right direction.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:09*
Chen. So awkwardness means that I'm being powerful.

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:14*
So awkwardness means I'm being powerful. Hmm.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:18*
Collarbone, I really want to make a difference

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:23*
I really want to make a difference.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:26*
And the arm. And I do not want to be bored and terrified at the same time.

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:30*
And I do not want to be bored or terrified at the same time.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:34*
Top of the head, what if I led a little more awkward in my life?

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:38*
What if I led a little more awkward in my life?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:41*
And started making my life what I want to live.

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:45*
And starting make started making the life that I wanted to live.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:51*
Nice deep breath.

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:59*
So check in again on your fear. Take a look at it. If you wrote it down, speak it aloud. Say it in your head. Feel it in your body. And what are you noticing? Has the number shifted? Mine's gone from a nine to a five. And in a moment we're gonna I'm gonna share a little secret about the fear that you're looking at that I think is really helpful. I use it all the time with with coaching clients, but I'd like to take just a moment, five minutes if it's okay with you guys, to talk about the reprogram your primitive brain course Cathy and I, when we first started working together, it was very clear that there was a powerful force at work. in both of us. It was one of the things that as we started collaborating, we really looked at things like body safety and we looked at, you know, fears about body image and losing weight. We looked at money issues. We've looked at love and relationships. We've looked at jealousy and passions. We've we've looked at um Through the Thriving Now team, we have covered the vast spectrum of things that happen in people's lives. And there's a there's a fundamental core to this, and that is something that I was never taught. It's at work everywhere. You see it in people's faces, you see it in every everywhere where humans Live, work, breathe, eat, the primitive brain is at work. If you see someone who is fighting, fighting to get over top of other people or fighting to get away. If you see people that are in um in flight, yeah, again, like running away, they're they're They're running away from family members who, you know, they're just scared or running away from being out there in the world. That feeling of that you want to just crawl under your bed or under the covers, that's the primitive brain. I think a lot of depression and fears are The primitive brain just saying, listen, it's just not safe, and I we don't know what else to do. So we're just gonna shut down here. We're just gonna shut down. That's good And then the freeze where you see somebody, and I see people out on dates. I see the person that someone says something and that they uh their face goes blank and they're not there anymore. I see, you know, couples, um, I see kids being yelled at by their parents and they they go blank, their face c their face shuts down, they're in freeze. And there are people who, you know, they they get in a a an accident. It doesn't even have to be a big one. I had someone fall down the a client fell down the stairs. And from that point forward she started getting more and more contracted. She just didn't want to go out in public anymore. She had she had really hurt her ankle. And that had told her primitive brain, just stay home, just stay home. Because that before she went to the concert, she had thought, I just I just really want to stay home. And the primitive brain made that association. Without a specific framework to shift the primitive brain, it sometimes unfreezes. And a lot of times it doesn't. And I want a group of people who are savvy with this. I want a group of people that for themselves and everyone they touch and everyone they love they start reacting differently because they're aware someone's in fight, flight, or freeze. And they either know what to do or they know how to tune themselves so that they can radiate the energy of relief. If you tap for yourself around primitive brain stuff and somebody else is in in fear mode, but you're in that calm, confident place because it's not triggering you the way it used to. They're awkward and you're comfortable with awkward because you're comfortable with being awkward yourself. Guess what? You don't have to tap with them. They're gonna change And so this reprogram your primitive brain course remains the premier thing that Cathy and I have done together around this. People have gone through it many times. Every time they want to emerge into a new level, they'll look at that resource, find the things that really matter to them, and go back through. And this time for this round, I'm offering a 20 minute coaching session with me because I really want to create a wider circle of people. And I don't know. It's one of my things is the uncertainty of all of this. But I do invite you to take a look. Thrivingnow. com slash primitive dash brain. thrivingnow. com slash primitive dash brain. Take a look, see if it makes sense to you. There's a 30-day money back guarantee and we can do that coaching session. Um this week, next week. I'm ready. So anything else you'd like to add, Cathy, on that?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*38:06*
I just uh I I guess I want to acknowledge the fact that both Rick and I when we were creating this program we put everything we had into it because it almost felt like um attack sometimes about doing things for my my younger self or doing something for your future self. And I felt like we were doing that for both of that. Like honoring what I felt like we're putting together the resources we wished we'd had. that would have accelerated our our path so much for our younger selves and then also putting together something that would help people change their lives so that for our future selves, we're in a world where there's more people that are resilient and not reactive and it doesn't mean that everything all goes away, but the turnaround time is so much faster and like I've noticed that um I have a good friend that he sometimes steps on my toes and we kind of poke at each other and the more I tap, the more I do this work, the faster I can go, Oh yeah, he must you know, sometimes he's in a bad mood and that happens rather than Oh my god, our friendship's over. This is the end of what like you know, my primitive brain used to go down this rabbit hole of everything's over, nobody loves me, I'm unlovable And it wasn't good for my brain, it wasn't good for my heart, and it wasn't good for my body because my brain my system was sending out so much cortisol and other, you know, like defensive stuff to take care of the the attack that it perceived. But it really wasn't an attack. He's just sometimes grumpy and when he's grumpy he's he steps on toes and like he's someone I wanna have in my life but it's like, Oh, okay, he's grumpy, he probably needs to take a nap but he's not gonna do one. Take one. I if I wanna hang out with him. Um, I just have to be resilient. And um I'm so grateful that I have that now because our friendship would have ended years ago otherwise. So um I just would love that for you. And if it's something that's a good fit for you, wonderful. This is not the only way to get there, but it's one that we're very, very proud of and we put a lot of effort in Um, and we'd love for you to reprogram things so that you can have the life you want to live. You're actually in it right now. You just um Sometimes we can't see it when our primitive brain is flooding us flooding us with fears. So another nice third deep breath.

**Rick Wilkes**
*40:30*
We have a question submitted. And Ann writes Yeah. How about when you feel awkward? Because everyone expects you to be a 10 like a perfect ten because you are an expert and not a beginner. And you feel like an imposter who keeps getting away with almost tens but feel like at any moment you're going to be a four. And then that happens. You perform at a four, even though you know you could be a ten or a nine, which is fine. But four is unacceptable. And there you are. A four. Boom. Um so wonderful question. It's a wonderful question and I I see a number of things that are energies that I would take a look at, Ann. One is that pressure that you feel because everyone expects you to be a 10. Look at where in your life you might have had experiences where that pressure was really too much. And make a list of those and use those as specific events for tapping. That feeling that you get of being an imposter Um, where do you feel that in your body? Really listen and tap that feeling that I'm an imposter in my wherever it is. And then a specific time when you really didn't come through at the level of expectation for yourself. Um those when we when we really are capable and we drop the ball, especially because it sounds like you have extremely high standards for yourself. Welcome to the club. Those would be another opportunity for you to to take it as a specific event. And and it is the type of thing that to do it on your own can feel very lonely. When it comes to things that are in relation to other people I know that having a tapping buddy or a coach or my friend Cathy on my side while I'm talking about it, it helps It helps the primitive brain. That's another thing, that feeling like you have to heal or do it on your own or keep these things hidden. The the the best the most people that feel like an imposter don't typically share that feeling with other people. So you may already start feeling this energy shifting because welcome, welcome to the world of expectations. And I know that it's it's a powerful thing when you start shifting that.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*43:07*
It really is. And one thing that helped me with that, it's imposter syndrome is a powerful it's a very it can hold people back that are doing amazing work. Because sometimes when we're very talented at something, it doesn't seem like a stretch anymore. We practiced it for a while, it just seems natural. Of course everybody remembers this. So there's two things I do when I'm in that situation. One, I remember where I was before I started studying, like for example, EFT. I remember back the first couple times I tapped where my friend and I would go like, You go first, you go first, uh, uh, okay, uh and we were so awkward and we didn't know what to say Like comparing yourself to you earlier before you knew the information can help you see the contrast of how much you know now and give you confidence. And then also look at people that you respect and realize that if they made a mistake or bespoke or something, that as long as they cleaned it up and they owned it, you probably wouldn't think less of them Um anytime we're out there pushing boundaries or pushing not boundaries, we're pushing the comfort zones and and stepping outside of the fear boundaries we're gonna stumble sometime and there's nothing wrong or it might be that you're having a you're tired or a little bit sick or whatever it is and we are you know we're not always a hundred percent, we're not always a ten. I think the intention behind it matters as much as if not more. If you're out there trying to make a difference and genuinely offering with generosity all that you know, um People recognize that, the right people recognize that. And the people that are most judgmental are the ones that are most afraid. and insecure. So if someone judges you, it's usually a sign that they're super insecure and the only way they can feel better about themselves is though, oh, did you see that? Yeah, and she's pretty good, but she made a mistake there. It's just going to be about them, not about you. So I hope that helps.

**Rick Wilkes**
*45:08*
Mm-hmm. Tapping especially the primitive brain work can help us make make us so much more resilient. And there's a Here's the little secret. Take a look at that fear that you wrote down and say, well, what makes sense about having that fear? What could be is there any wisdom in this fear at all? One of the things about the primitive brain is that there is a logic to it. There is you know, it's like the child who said, Yes, daddy, you're right, when that was the only answer that could possibly keep her safe We ha our primitive brain will have an intelligence to it. My fear that I started with is I'm not sure it's going to work. I'm not sure it's going to work. And that's something that comes up I'm an engineer and there's a part of me that if I'm going to build something that let's say my family is going to walk across a chasm to um on, I want to make sure that it's going to work Especially if there's not actually a tiger chasing us. If a tiger is actually chasing us, well then we need to get across the chasm to get to safety. But for those of us that are actually safe, meaning that there isn't an attack actually present, the primitive brain guy's like, well, there may be no tigers and bears and the like, but you know, are you sure this is going to work? Because it wants to conserve energy. That's a primitive brain function of survival. And it may be something that you really feel like certainty is important. And this is where if you say, hey primitive brain, even though I know we're not sure that this is going to work, it's okay. It's like art. We're doing it because it could make a difference. We're doing it because it's enjoyable to do it. It doesn't have to work. It doesn't have there's the pressure to make it life or death. As long as you're sending a signal to the primitive brain this isn't life or death, it relaxes and lets your thinking brain, your and your heart work together. But every time we're emerging to a new level in our lives, there's going to be a that the primitive brain, anytime there's uncertainty, is involved And it needs reassurance. And I believe that touching ourselves in comforting ways while we're tuning into it, using words of affirmation. That are also honest, like even though I feel this uncertainty in my gut or my throat, it's okay. This isn't life or death This is about expression and growth and love and laughter and engagement And we do that, things start shifting. We free up energy. I have been doing this around this, and it comes up. It goes, I'm not sure it's going to work. Everything new that I try right now is coming up with us. And what's really interesting is that when I take five or ten minutes to quiet myself do some breathing and then a little bit of tapping on this unsure feeling, guess what I do? I send a newsletter out. I solve a technical problem. I get an idea, I get an insight, and that's what this emerging is about. It's not just about quieting the fears, that's the that's taking the parking brake off. That's not the really beautiful journey that we're gonna be on together. And I really want to do this together. I really would like the next group of people coming and engaging around the primitive brain to want to make a difference. If that is you, please take a look at it. Thrivingnow. com slash primitive dash brain. If you've already got the program, great. You know that it's still there, it's been there for you as a resource. This would be a great time to go back through and take a look, pick and choose, or do it thoroughly, with a new energy around what you'd like to emerge into.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*49:45*
Yeah. Um so we have a hand raised.

**Speaker 3**
*49:49*
Wonderful. Hey Gina. Hi. Um, I feel like you guys just framed this phone call around what's going on with me today. And just for you. Party? I said we of course we did just for you. Ah Um okay, so um uh we have a family business and I showed one of our places today for someone to rent and they do want to rent it And it's um you know, sometimes people pay the money right away and this person is choosing to overnight it And yeah, um I'm staying very calm but my brother is having a diva attack or something. He's like freaking out and he's in his primitive brain. And um and this is really typical and normally I just feel completely bullied. But I actually um got the primitive brain program and it's already helped because I don't feel bullied. And it it's more like it's annoying but but it's curious to me and I I mean I would love to tap on what to do when someone else is Completely in their primitive brain.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:20*
Yeah. Yeah, that's wonderful. Congratulations on taking that action, by the way. Thank you. So can you take a nice slow deep breath? And can you imagine your brothers in front of you? Yikes, yeah. Okay. We can put a nice thick plexiglass layer, like a window in there, so he can't if he's on the other side of the window, if that's okay.

**Speaker 3**
*51:49*
Yeah, he's he's fifteen feet away too.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:53*
Wonderful. I think uh like a cone of silence is descended around him. You can just he can't get out, but you can see him there. Perfect. All right. So take another nice slow deep breath. Karate chop. Hey, primitive brain.

**Speaker 3**
*52:11*
Paper in his brain. There he is having a diva attack again. There he is having a diva attack again. And you know what? And you know what? I don't know that this is about me. I really don't think this is about me. I think this might be about him. I think this might be about him. He has not reprogrammed his primitive brain. He has not reprogrammed his primitive brain. And he's kind of freaking out. Yeah, and he's freaking out and he's honestly blaming it on me. Top of the head, people that are afraid blame sometimes. When people are afraid, they blame sometimes. Eyebrow blame comes from feeling powerless. Blame comes from feeling powerless. Side of the eye. It sounds like he doesn't trust the universe to come through. Yeah. It it sounds like he doesn't trust the universe to come through. Under the eye and he feels powerless about making it happen. And he feels powerless about making it happen. Under the nose. I feel bad that he's this upset. I do. I feel bad that the he that he's just upset. Tim, but it's really not about me. But it's really not about me. And I don't have to do a piece of myself. Yeah. Colin, I don't need to accept the blame. Yeah, and I don't need to accept the blame. I mean the arm I can have a lot of compassion I can have a lot of compassion. Top of the head. And maybe we need to set clear clear rules about when people need to pay by. And maybe we can set clearer rules when people need to pay by. Hi, bro, but I can relax right now I can relax right now. Side of the eye. My primitive brain doesn't need to get scared too. My primitive brain doesn't need to get scared to. Under the I I understand where he's coming from now. I understand where he's coming from now. Under the nose that it's not really a a true fear. That's not really a true fear. Jim, I know the universe loves us. I know the universe loves us. Collarbone. And he's reacting to old things. He's reacting to old things.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*55:07*
And the arm, not things that are happening right now.

**Speaker 3**
*55:11*
Uh yeah, good point. Not things that are happening right now.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*55:16*
Top of the head. So my primitive brain can relax and look for powerful solutions.

**Speaker 3**
*55:22*
Yeah, my primitive brain can relax and look for powerful solutions.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*55:28*
Take a nice, slow deep breath. I do think this is one of the most the one of the gifts you'll get out of this tonight 'cause for me, people that when I understand where other people coming f are coming from and going through this course gives you a really good insight. It's a lot easier to disengage and not be reactive. It's like, oh He is this cranky or wow when we were little I remember he didn't get a lot of things that he was promised and he's probably reacting to that. It's about mom and dad, not about this this renter It's not about me. And that's a huge gift you're giving yourself. And anyone who goes through this process of understanding themselves, it also gives you deep insight into other people. Because we're never gonna live in a world where there's people that aren't afraid sometimes. There will always be people that are reactive and scared. And when we can just understand have you ever seen like um on a TV show where like one gazelle's head comes up and it looks scared and it runs and they all run Yeah. Okay. That's the problem is when we all have reactive brains, one person gets triggered or upset and then they all are running off over the cliff. Like everybody's like, Oh my god, it's the world's end and when one person goes, you know what, I don't think it's that big a deal. Other people have the option to go, Oh, oh, yeah, let's not run over the cliff today, let's save that for tomorrow. So you are you by role modeling this and understanding this, you walking through the world as you are with this understanding creates a change in the world and gives people permission to be different So the work that you're doing ripples through the whole world and I am so proud of you for doing this.

**Speaker 3**
*57:14*
Thank you. Thank you. How do you feel right now? Um I feel ninety percent peaceful I um I I am having this tendency of wanting to um protect myself of Uh you know, he's sending these text messages to my parents too of Yeah. You know, that I did some that I did something wrong and didn't do it fast enough and I'm not quite sure Like I want to be defensive and you know I I can't decide whether, yeah, to to stick up for myself or just like let just be peaceful and let it Right.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*58:01*
I think there's an there's another option besides just being passive and like, oh, you get to do that or defend yourself, which can make a reactive person more reactive. Like get curious. Like, hey, you know, what would feel fast enough for you? What is the deadline on this? So that I can put it in the agreement and then I you know, it makes it a lot easier for me to follow up and I can win at this. Like what what is what what do you consider fast enough? He may say something that's completely unreasonable and you can go, Well, I'm not willing to do that. How about this? But just by giving him the option to talk about it and it will help him feel more powerful, less disempowered, because he's feeling disempowered right now And if it's something reasonable, then you guys like you can just put it in the agreement going forward, like, hey, if I'm not if we're not paid by this in this time, you can lose your you could lose the rental or whatever, however you do it, or there's a fee for it or whatever. And then if your brother gets upset then you can go like I'm gonna use that fee money to take myself out for massage because that's what I deserve. Whatever however you say. But getting getting curious and inviting feedback can help them feel more empowered and then they won't necessarily be as reactive because they're actually getting to speak and and have some choice in the matter, if that makes sense.

**Speaker 3**
*59:22*
Yeah, completely Thank you, Gene. Yeah, thank you.

**Rick Wilkes**
*59:32*
All right. So thank you all for coming together tonight. And as you saw, what what's really wonderful, uh you know, we're We're smart people. I see I see how when when we calm the primitive brain, when we give it a different kind of signal, then our capacity to even explore whether to be defensive or not. uh how to be responsive rather than reactive. There are possibilities that are opening up. And any of us that have have done this work see that. And now as you want to go emerge and and make more of a difference in the lives of people that you care about and and cultivate a an emotional world that really suits you. That That often means making some changes in relationships, like between a sister and a brother, between a person and their renters or their clients. between you and your boss or you and your employees. And this as a tool that that is used with skill utterly is foundational to me. In in the emotional world that we live in inside of ourselves, inside of our heads, whether our hamsters are chilling out and just like, oh man, rub my belly. I am happy. Um, or there's squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeaking. It having something at your fingertips is really core. So if you have any questions, Cathy and I are the ones that read the emails that you send as support at thrivingnow. com We've got a couple of days here before Thursday midnight for the the bonuses. We're going to do a couple of calls, really powerful ones on finding your why and really aligning your energy around that. And also then keeping going with energy. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Keeping keeping moving forward with uh a good positive energy. Those will be added to the course this time around. And we did have a question. If you had purchased it in the past, you don't owe us anything extra for this? We would love donations, of course Yeah, we would we're gonna be together here at the end of September, but it's not required. Um we didn't I don't even ask for them. I just threw that in there as uh, hey, you wanna buy us dinner? That'd be fine.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*01:02:05*
No, but you if you it's a lifetime access, so once you get access, we add something new, unless it's a total revamp, you get that as well. Um and I just I'm really excited about going through finding your why because I think understanding consciously why you're doing things and why you're out there can give you so much direction and purpose and groundedness and calmness that um it's just one of my favorite topics and I help people with that a lot. So Rick and I do. So We didn't get to all the raised hands, um, but uh you're welcome to drop us an email with your questions and we want to honor people's time and uh end on time or pretty close to it We hope you'll join us in drivingnow. com forward slash primitive dash brain. It's our premier program and one we're incredibly proud of. Thank you all for being here and being absolutely amazing. I'm glad you exist tomorrow.

**Rick Wilkes**
*01:02:59*
Can I unmute you for a second?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*01:03:01*
You're all unmuted.

**Rick Wilkes**
*01:03:03*
Uh thank you all.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*01:03:06*
Oh, you are so welcome, Rick. Thank you guys. Thank you. Thank you Thanks. Thanks everyone. Thank you. Wonderful. Thanks for good, Cathy. Thank you guys. Have a wonderful day. You too. Thank you, you too.

**Speaker 4**
*01:03:27*
Bye. Bye.