The Top Three Mistakes People Make When They're Emerging Into the World

Presented by Rick Wilkes, Cathy Vartuli

Automatic MacWhisper transcript with speaker detection; light human review is still recommended.

**Rick Wilkes**
*00:05*
The top three mistakes that people make when they're emerging into the world This is Rick from Thriving Now and I'm here with Cathy from Thriving Now as well. We're excited about this subject because we want and love and are excited about people emerging into their gifts, emerging into the ways that they want to be us be expressing their their heart, their minds, their talents in relationships, in business. And there are some things that people do that can make that extremely difficult.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*00:44*
Yes. This is so important. So just to define emerging so that everybody's on the same page, we're talking about people that have um been held back because of fears or uh uh old limiting beliefs that are holding them back and now they're ready to step forward and they really want to make a difference in the world. Even if they're they still have some limiting beliefs and fears, because I don't think we ever get completely past those. We'll get past one layer and then we find some new things as we step into a bigger world. But it's about emerging from yourself, emerging from that old stagnant place. And it's so powerful It can feel awkward, it can feel scary, but it can make a difference for not just yourself, but for everyone around you. And we still value the courage it takes. just to be on this call right now. There's a lot of people out there that don't even know that there's an option to do this. And so I just like you to notice for a minute that you are investing in yourself and in making a better world right this minute. Just by being here, by listening, by participating and looking at your own thing. You're spending an hour uh making your world a better place Making the world a better place for you and for others. And I am really proud of you. And I just want you to honor that for yourself Most people are coming home and watching Seinfeld rerun or going through the routine. You are stepping out of your routine and looking at a way to make things different and better, and that is very important. And we want to make it as smooth as possible for you. So we're going to share the three top mistakes people make that Rick and I have made and other people have made and we've worked with thousands of people and we've seen this over and over again So just think if you can smooth your path by a couple years worth or be that much less frustrated at the end of the day, how much more you can get done and how much better you'll feel about yourself. So I invite you to uh get some note paper and pencil or a pen if you want or type in your computer. If you're in front of Facebook or Twitter or wherever it is, I invite you to shut the caps down for an hour and just be here and present. I invite you to be present with what we're saying and paying attention to what's going on inside you. If you feel really drawn to the cats, they are incredibly cute. They entice us into those things. But also realize some frightened parts of you are might also be trying to avoid noticing what you're feeling. So I encourage you, if you're taking notes on your computer, that's great But I would encourage you to shut down anything else and just pay attention to this and pay attention to you for this hour because you're going to have things coming up and that's what you notice now will serve you so much going forward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*03:31*
So let's get right into it. So the first of the top three mistakes that people make when they're emerging into the world is they don't give themselves space, emotional space, to learn and to make mistakes. Yes.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*03:50*
Yes. And this is a very important thing.

**Rick Wilkes**
*03:51*
And as a reform perfectionist it's Yeah.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*03:56*
So realize I I had this ideal. I thought that if I tapped enough and I was quote unquote ready enough to get out in the world I would be super smooth and I would look like those people on TV where like all the dance steps come right to them and that just like they're graceful and posh and cool and everybody looks at them and is like, oh wow Unfortunately life is not really like that. And I think what people often will hold on until they think they can do it perfectly, which means they never practice or get out there We are going to make mistakes. As you emerge, that butterfly that's emerging from the chrysalis, the its butter its wings are are awkward and and it doesn't know like quite what to do when they're damp. And if it doesn't move them, if it doesn't try to get them flapping, it's never gonna take off the ground. It is okay to make mistakes and feel awkward as you try new things. It's actually a sign that you're growing. I hate that concept. But I've tried it over and over and over again. That awkward feeling where I feel like, oh, this is not working or I'm not going to get it right That's just a feeling of growth. And no one talked to us when we were little kids and said, Hey honey, I understand this feels really awkward and you don't quite know what to do This is a really good place to be. This means you're growing and you're stepping into things you've never done before. And I want to encourage you to be amazing and courageous and be in that space. We're not taught that. And so not giving yourself that space. Not you know, a lot of people take the first couple of steps and they're awkward or they're stem rolling like, oh, I'm never going to do that again. Or I'm going to pull back and wait till I'm ready. And you don't really get ready unless you get out there and step into it.

**Rick Wilkes**
*05:43*
One of the things that I didn't realize for myself was how much as I went through life my perfectionism was building up a tightness and contraction. So anytime that I had tried something and made a mistake or had what was called a failure, there was a part of my my being, my body mind, that was contracting. It was starting to put the brakes on more and more and more and more. It was like a chrysalis, but imagine one that's shrinking down. And in that place there's not even enough movement. And I got to a place where I was really frozen in my life and in my business. I needed something to start getting back into what I'd read about, which is Beginner's Mind, but holy smokes, I had no idea how to get back to it. And one of the things that that worked for me i was meditation. And the other thing that really worked for me was tapping. And the other thing that then took it to the next level was, as you said, Cathy recognizing that awkward is okay. And that took, for those of us that use the emotional technology of EEFT tapping, we recognize that when we're when we're moving into a new area, those past things and the feeling of the parking brake and the feeling of the unsafety for some people of not being perfect or being awkward as a sign that there's something wrong rather than that feeling normal. What I can I want to assure all of us that we have now reached a point in emotional technology where we can tune into that part of our body-mind and bring it comfort enough to take the parking brake off so that you can embrace beginner's mind. And that's a really juicy place to be. When you're emerging with fresh eyes, Every day in your business, every day in your lovership, every day in walking around your neighborhood is fresh. And to me, that was one of the core things about Thriving Now. I wanted a way for all of us to share that feeling of fresh thriving in the moment. And so as you think about emerging into what you want in your life, if you start feeling in your body tension and contraction, there are ways to address that. And it's about creating that space, the spaciousness to learn, the spaciousness to look at it with fresh eyes, and to recover quickly from something that feels like a misstep or mistake.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*08:38*
Yes. And realizing that we talk a lot about the primitive brain, the survival brain. that part of us wants to stay small and safe. That it's like a rabbit hiding in the bushes. If you don't move, nothing will get you. But it's also a very quiet, boring, dull, non-expansive place to be. And until our primitive brain realizes that we're safe, it's very hard to fight against that. It's very hard to move out and really emerge. We may even think we want to emerge. We may make commitments and promise ourselves and intentions and all that, but until that part of us is on board with us stepping forward, it's really, really hard. The first mistake is gonna send Send us scrambling back for the bushes. Could we do some popping on that?

**Rick Wilkes**
*09:29*
Yes, let's please. Would you like to lead it?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*09:33*
Sure. Okay. So if you notice the cats are calling or you're being your attention is wandering, nothing wrong. Very natural. But I invite you to draw your attention back. Tapping works much better if you're fully present with it. If your mind is wandering a lot, it may be a sign that you are have a lot of resistance around here. Now it could be just that what Rick and I teach is not a good fit for you, but if it's something if you normally like our style and you find that your brain is going, Oh, I've got to check, I've got to answer that email. Um, oh, oh, there's that cute funny video about cats or whatever it is That's probably a sign that your primitive brain is going, let's not even look at this, because you might take away some of my power. You might pull me away from this safe little bush that I'm hiding under and you want to go dancing out in the sunlight where all the scary things might be. So just allow yourself to come back to here and now. Take a nice slow deep breath. Notice your feet on the floor, your butt in the seat. Notice how you're supported by the universe And realize that you are doing something amazing right now. You're being present with yourself and we're going to do some tapping to invite our primitive brain to feel safer. That is something most people never do and it is an act of courage and it is a world-changing event. If all of us did this once in a while, the world would be a very different place Another nice slow deep breath. Karate Chop. Hey, primitive brain.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:15*
Hey primitive brain.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:17*
I get that this is kind of scary.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:21*
I get that this is kind of scary.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:24*
And I want to let you know.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:27*
And I want to let you know.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:29*
I got your back.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:32*
I got your back.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:34*
You had mine for so long.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:37*
You've had mine for so long.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:40*
And you kept me safe.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:42*
And you kept me as safe as you could.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:46*
I appreciate all your effort.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:49*
I appreciate all your effort.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:52*
And it might be time to dance in the sunlight now.

**Rick Wilkes**
*11:56*
Oh, it might be time to dance in the sunlight now.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*11:59*
Why don't we try it?

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:01*
Why don't we try it?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:04*
Top of the head. It's time to come out of the Chrysalis.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:08*
It's time to come out of the chrysalis.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:11*
I brow, and I know it feels frightening to you.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:15*
And I know it feels frightening to you

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:18*
Right of the eye, but I want to make a difference in this world.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:22*
I want to make a difference in this world.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:25*
And maybe I I don't want to just pass my my time here.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:29*
I just don't I don't want to just pass my time here.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:33*
Under the nose. I want to dance in the world.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:36*
I want to dance in the world

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:39*
Jane, I want to make it different than I ever experienced it.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:43*
I want to make it different than I've ever experienced it.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:47*
Collarbone, I want to leave it better than I found it.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:50*
I want to leave it better than I found it.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:53*
And maybe um and to do that.

**Rick Wilkes**
*12:56*
And to do that

**Cathy Vartuli**
*12:58*
Top of the head. I have to take small actionable steps.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:03*
I do have to take small actionable steps.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:07*
I well. I don't need to win the Oscars

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:11*
I don't have I don't need to win the Oscars.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:14*
Side of the eye or the Nobel Prize.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:16*
Or the Nobel Prize.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:18*
Under the eye, but I do have to be present with myself.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:22*
I do have to be present with myself.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:25*
Under the nose and be able to be willing to take those little steps forward.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:30*
And be willing to take those little steps forward.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:33*
Jim, I'm taking one of those steps right this minute.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:37*
I am taking one of those steps right this minute.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:41*
Collarbone, I'm tapping on my fears.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:44*
I'm tapping on my fears.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:46*
I'm the VRM and I'm getting ready to emerge.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:50*
And I'm getting ready to emerge.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*13:52*
Top of head. Out into the world where I have power.

**Rick Wilkes**
*13:56*
Out into the world where I have power.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*14:00*
Take a nice slow deep breath. All right. Are you ready for number two?

**Rick Wilkes**
*14:13*
Yes.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*14:15*
The second mistake people make when they're emerging out into the world, they think they need to do it on their own and they don't ask for support. And that's something I did for a very long time. I thought I had to do it all by myself and be super independent. And I wondered why it was so, excuse the French, so fucking hard

**Rick Wilkes**
*14:34*
Yeah. Oh, I I remember growing up with a self-made man. I thought I was gonna be a self-made man and what a bunch of First of all, there's no way to be in the world if you're out there being of service or you've got a product, you're co-creating. I mean, that's really a more accurate model. You're co-creating with all the other humans on the planet in some big and small ways. It's But the thing that we see with our coaching clients the most is that there's a a part I I had one today. It was that sense of, well, I should already know how to do this. I should already be good at this. And it's what and it's whether you are any time that you're going from what you already know and have mastered into a new area, you're going to have a certain sensation come up in your body. And we have come to judge ourselves when that feeling comes up as I'm inadequate. I'm I should know this. We should on ourselves. And so what that does is it it shuts people down. Instead of being a co-creator, they feel they need to do it on their own. And there's no part of us really that as a l as a an emotional ecosystem thrive on our own Humans are tribal animals. We are we we we've been moving through this evolution of ours as groups Since the beginning, we work best when we have certain specialties and skills, and we also tap into the specialties and skills of others And yet we're coming out of right now, I think, a culture of independence which has led to loneliness. And it's really disconnected us from that sense of shared wisdom, shared perspective. I cannot really rub my back nearly as well as I can get it rubbed by someone else. And yet there are people that are contorting themselves in trying to do business or marketing or learn how to play something, um, learn how to solve a problem. And even just dealing with the emotions of having something in our past which was really painful that has left us frozen. And here's the thing. the br part of our primitive brain, the very primal part of us that figured out how to survive our great great great great great great greats in our ancestry They knew that if times were really tough and stressful, that the really horrible things that happened to you, it worked best if you shoved them down and you just carried them like rocks on your back. And We call that a freeze now. We understand that what's happening is that the body is freezing something away. Those things do not heal just on our own when we're in isolation, when we don't feel we're safe in the supportive energies of other people. That's why we're doing this group call. This is why even the people that get one-on-one support benefit from being together and hearing and engaging in this way. The the I had I when and there are people that have like staff working for them, but they feel dreadfully alone, like they have to do it on their own, that everything is relying on them. Mothers who feel like they're having to hold the whole extended family together. That is not that's a primitive Primal delusion and I n understand where it comes from. I was in it. I was in it for a lot of years. It nearly killed me But coming out of it is the one of the most blessed feelings that you are in a place where you can really feel engaged and connected with People that have have your back, but also that are going to celebrate with you and listen to you

**Cathy Vartuli**
*18:58*
Yeah. I I think one of the points you hit on, um, I've noticed it more and more. Our primitive brain is designed to be part of a tribe. It feels safe when it belongs and there's other people doing something. So the person leading has to you know break ground a lot more it's a lot more challenging for someone to do it all by themselves out ahead of everybody. The primitive brain is like, no, no, no, we need the tribe, but what if they don't like this? If you are selectively, consciously in a group that is doing something that you want to achieve, it becomes so much easier. A lot of the internal resistance disappears because your primitive brain's looking around going, Oh, this is a little scary. Oh wait, she just did it. So it didn't look too bad. Oh wait He did it too. Oh, if I don't want to be left behind, I should do this too. It become it goes from a resistance of, oh my God, I'm all alone, this is really hard, to look, everybody's doing that. This looks kind of fun. They seem happier There's all the social proof. So I believe in hacking things as much as you can. If you want to uh if you want to create something different for yourself, consciously choosing who you hang around when you do that and finding a group of people that are already on that direct going in that direction or want to go in that direction too can make a huge difference. They say that the the amount you earn in a given year is almost it's very accurately described by the twelve the average incomes of the top tw the twelve people you spend the most time with That's true also of your mental health, I believe. If you are most of us don't consciously choose who we hang out with. We don't invest time in people based on what we want to create in our world. And so I invite people to consciously say, hey, I'd like to have better finances. Maybe I should hang out with and friends that are but good at finances and and talk about that. Or I'd really like to make a difference in the world. How can I hang out more with people that are making that kind of difference or wanting to make that kind of difference We often don't do this consciously, but doing when we can and we can find groups that that support that, we can accelerate our growth And I'm all for that because I think the world needs a lot of there's a lot of noise out there, there's a lot of pain and suffering, a lot of stagnation. And the more people we have making a difference, the easier it is for other people to see they can make a difference. And so I think we're all the people on the calls like this are guiding lights that are starting the process to move forward. That's why I do this. I d I have an amazing job as an engineer I don't need to do calls like this, but I so want the world to be an amazing place to live in and I want to encourage people's hearts. I can feel in people's hearts that they want to make a difference And I wanna help that. I want to make it smoother and more easy for them to find that. And so I encourage you, try to make it as conscious as possible and realize you don't have to be doing it on your own going through that awkward you know, number one, that you're gonna make mistakes and it's gonna be awkward, that's normal. But also having friends to say, Oh yeah, I went through that. I totally get what you're feeling Versus if y my mother is an amazing person, but she tends to be the rabbit in the bushes kind of person. She's like, oh, I don't think you should do that. That could be really bad and scary Um, not because she I she doesn't think I've thought through all the parameters, it just she it's scary for her to think of me being out there. And I want to make a difference, so I have to be out there. So if you have people like that in your life, it doesn't mean you have to get rid of them And make sure you offset that with a healthy dose of of people that are like, yeah, that sounds amazing. How how about doing this? Or have you thought of this? And and you know, I can't wait to see how it'll turn out

**Rick Wilkes**
*22:54*
Yeah, call me or email me as soon as you you're done. I'd love to I want to hear and celebrate with you. Um I I want to do the tapping here on something that is is a truth for a lot of people. There were times in our lives, especially growing up, when we needed help. And if you reached out for help and you were shot down or it wasn't there, you were in an environment where you may have really needed to do it on your own. Um you and I both, uh Cathy, have have met many beautiful beings who growing up really didn't have the kind of support. And for for for those of us that really uh need this, this kind of ecosystem where we've got people that will celebrate and people that will encourage us stepping out of the bushes. Um There is usually a transition point where the primitive brain is just so strong that they don't even talk to strangers, they don't reach out, they don't They don't join a group. They don't go to a meetup of people that share a similar kind of interest. And we totally get that. I've been there. And this is where Acknowledging that you're going to be cultivating a a support ecosystem. It's not just you. You and you may not have those supported people now, but it's an intention. And so as you think about just expanding your your circle of support, what happens in your body? And it's really natural There's nothing wrong with you if you notice some contraction. If it's not especially for people that are a little introverted or sensitive or have bad experiences with that Yeah, this is where we lean in together as a group. There's a circle of people here. We cover the world. And when we're tuning into that, all of us, think about connecting with others so that we don't we we know that we're not doing it just on our own. I start feeling uh a vulnerability, I'll call it, in my throat and the upper part of my chest. And even for me, and I say that like not that I'm I've been doing a lot of this work too, and I'm I'm acknowledging that every time I step out with that intention, There's still a phil physiological reaction. Right now it's about a six. I have a very strong asking. And so there's about a six. It's in my throat. It's a it's a vulnerability. What is it for you? It may be in your gut. It may be you lose your legs. Feel your feet. How do they feel about it? Are they twinkle toes and ready to go? Or are they like curled up underneath underneath you. I'm like, nah. Whatever it is, it's great. Because what we're doing here is not trying to be perfect and confident all the time, right from the start. We're learning and teaching ourselves how to reprogram, how to get into a better place. Shall we do some tapping together, Cathy?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*26:09*
Yes, please.

**Rick Wilkes**
*26:11*
Okay. Karate Chow. Even though I really thought I needed to do it on my own.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*26:20*
Even though I really thought I would have to do it on my own.

**Rick Wilkes**
*26:24*
And I'm not the only one with that belief.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*26:28*
And I'm not the only one with that belief.

**Rick Wilkes**
*26:31*
And my body reacts when I think about extending my my reach.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*26:38*
And my body reacts when I think about extending my release.

**Rick Wilkes**
*26:44*
Emerging a bit more into my support circle.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*26:49*
emerging a bit more into my support circle.

**Rick Wilkes**
*26:53*
I deeply and completely accept all of these feelings.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*26:59*
I deeply and completely accept all of these feelings.

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:03*
Top it ahead. I thought I had to do it on my own.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:08*
I thought I had to do it on my own.

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:10*
Eyebrow. No wonder I didn't fully emerge.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:15*
No wonder I didn't fully emerge.

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:18*
By the eye. A part of me knows that I can't do it on my own.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:23*
A part of me knows that I can't do it on my own.

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:26*
Under the eye. And what if that's perfect?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:30*
And what if that's perfect?

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:32*
I don't know. What if that's really the ideal?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:36*
What if that's really the ideal?

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:39*
Chin. To co create cooperation

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:44*
To co-create cooperation.

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:46*
Come on. To invest in mutual support.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:52*
To invest in mutual support.

**Rick Wilkes**
*27:56*
That would feel really good to emerge into that.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*27:59*
That would feel really good to emerge into that.

**Rick Wilkes**
*28:04*
Top of the head. And I'm going to be a part of co-creating that.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*28:09*
And I'm going to be a part of co-creating that.

**Rick Wilkes**
*28:15*
Nice. What are you noticing?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*28:27*
I notice for me, I noticed the kind of excitement that I could step into that and that, you know, like I could have that. I feel And I always like to deepen that community I'm part of that I can get support and I tend to wanna go, Oh no, no, no, I got this for myself and that's usually when I needed the help the most is when I'm thinking that is like that's the time that's a signal to me. when I hear that that thought that, oh no, no, I got this. I actually use that as like a traffic light signal, like a flashing light. Okay, now's the time to call somebody and say, hey, I'd just like to share what's going on. Do you have a few minutes? And I can you know, it just is a sign for me when I I hear that part of me that mm, yeah, I need to remind myself that there are other people out there. It prevents people from burning out And part of this work is tough. Like it's scary. We've had we have people on the call right now that have shared in the team group in the team calls. that stepping out and doing things different was really frightening. Sending invitations, creating events, whatever it was. Um And I do think that inviting people is a sacred act. To me that is sacred to invite people to do something different to connect because most people don't know how to connect. They know how to go to a party and make social chit-chat and get a little bit of their needs met, but they don't know how to dive deep and they don't know how to open up and share what's real for them So I really do think that the small act of saying, Hey, I'd like to share with you and I have room for you to share back if you want to is very it's it's beautiful. Yeah So should we go on to number three?

**Rick Wilkes**
*30:10*
Yes So we've we've talked about the space to learn and make mistakes. And freeing up the energy to be in a space where you're creating with others that that's your more of your model, that you've soothed your primitive brain's feeling about Hey, I need to do this on my own and the disappointment and hurt and even senses of betrayal about i they didn't help me, so I just have to do it on my own. So you feel empowered to start engaging with other people. And this is if we're engaging with other people, there is a particular way of tuning through your what you know about yourself and what is motivating you and moving you to emerge because you no so and that is Knowing your why. When you know your why, why are you doing this? Why are you coming out? Why are you wanting to co-create? Why are you wanting to make the world a better place? What is it that your heart mind wants to do so much that it's It's providing energy. It's pushing. There's a an aspect of you that is like pushing at the edges of the chrysalis wanting to to get free and to be out there. You're and if you like car metaphors, you're you're jamming on the gas even if the the car isn't moving and you're feeling the distress of it Knowing your why is what do you how do you find that when when you know your why, Cathy, what how does that change the way that you interact with your community?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:11*
It makes all the it feels like to me it turns on the light bulb in my world and in my being, it turns the power on. And if it's okay, I'd like to lead a guided meditation to help people realize how it could help them feel.

**Rick Wilkes**
*32:24*
Wonderful.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*32:26*
Okay. So if you're in a safe place to do it, go ahead and close your eyes. If you're driving, please do not close your eyes. And uh just again notice your feet on the floor. Notice how your butt is being held in the chair, you're not having to do anything. And take a nice slow deep breath. And I'd like you to tune into that part of you that is your purpose. You may not have clarity on what it is. You may just feel it kind of moving around or It may feel like a wisp of something that you just know is there. But just pin into it for right now, whatever it looks like. And just notice how it looks to you How does it feel in your body? And just imagine, if you can, as you notice like the sensation of it in your body Or maybe the fact that it's hard to grab onto or hard to tune into. Just notice what it would feel like to you if you could imagine that to be a little more clear, say even ten percent more clear And ten more ten percent more solid that sense of this is what is true for me. My heart wants this. I am here to do this. Imagine ten percent more. Take a nice slow deep breath. But allow yourself to drop into your body and feel that sense of purpose You don't even have to know consciously what it is right now because your primitive brain might be going, No, no, no, no, that's too scary But just notice, be present with it in your body. That sense of this is true. If I could do even a little bit of this, my entire life would be worth living It would help me get up in the morning. It would help me feel feel focused and drawn forward in that delightful, heart centered way. Feel that in your body, that sense of this is my truth, this is me And what I'd like you to do is invite it to be just a little bit stronger, a little clearer. It may have been covered up by years of people telling you that that's not what you should do or when you were just a little kid you were trying to figure out what was your truth and you were trying different things on and you got You had people telling you, no, little girls don't want that, or that's not appropriate for little boys, or in our family we do this. There's a lot of distractions and layers sometimes over our purpose, our heart, our why. But if you can just let it tune into you, give it space in your body to be And just let it feel stronger. Let your heart feel the resonance with this purpose. And let your heart and the purpose become stronger with every gentle loving beat. And take another nice slow deep breath So imagine what your life would be like if you could wake up every morning feeling just this little bit more clear, just a little more bit more sure of your life. And that as you move forward it became more decisive and more powerful Just imagine that you weren't getting in your own way so much. Because every time a fear came up you're like, Yeah, I see you fear, but this purpose I have it's so much more important than you Oh, I see a limiting belief. Uh-huh. I got it. I believe that, yes, I'm probably not capable of doing it, but you know what? This purpose matters too much and I'm going to fucking do it anyway I just want you to tune into what your life might be like if you had more of that. Take another nice slow deep breath And invite that sense of purpose and that power and that clarity to be with you And I'd like you to slowly open your eyes and take another slow deep breath. And even if your brain doesn't know yet what that purpose is, realize your heart does And that's what causes your heart to beat. That's why you're here, I think. That's why we choose to come in here And so many people spend their whole life wishing for it and hoping for it and never finding it And they they either find out too late or they find out never at all. And they always wonder why they were here And I want you to know your purpose and your passion. I want you to be fully alive in your body, creating what you are here for. And the really cool thing is it can evolve as you evolve and you may find that you find it deeper as you chain turn corners in your life. You don't have to have it per perf perfectly right now But even catching a little bit of the tail of your purpose and and kind of following it where it's going, that makes life incredibly delicious. And if you want to write down, jot down anything that came to you while you were doing that, if you got little glimpses of it, you don't have to think it out, you don't have to logic it out. Our purpose doesn't have to be logical to our brain. It likes that very much, but it doesn't have to be to be fulfilling. Um but just being conscious of that and a little bit more aware can give you a lot of a lot of direction.

**Rick Wilkes**
*39:01*
Cathy and I have been working actively on the energies of the primitive brain and how they play in life, love, and thriving. Um we really started digging deep into this and um for the last three years it's been really core because If you want a thriving life as you define it, there really is going to be a congruence with your why. And it's going to feel Like, if I get in my car and I don't know why I'm in the car, imagine the confusion. And when I start the engine up, it's like, okay, well, I've started the engine and I've figured out how to get out of the driveway, but I'm not sure whether to turn right or left at the end of the driveway. And there's a lot of confusion. And there's a part of us that will go, no, let's just leave the parking brake on. Yeah, I know you want to stop the car. I know you want to put it in b in reverse, but let's just leave the parking brake on because we don't know why we are doing this. And this is uh we're continuing to evolve in this work. And to me the why, it can be as simple as What's an emotion that I want to be a co-creator of in this ecosystem that we have? in this world that we have. Like I l what really came to me is you were guiding us, Cathy, and you're so good at this, thank you. I love the feeling of being generously loving and to to b exist in the world in a way that feels generous to me and the people that I connect with. And it's just a really juicy way for me to live. And in business, there are things that you can do that really tune to being generous. And Someone else who has a different kind of why is going to write different email newsletters. They're going to um engage in community in a different way than I do. And that's great too. But the person that has their why is much less likely to not When you face the construction in the road, if you know why you're headed to grandma's house, you'll still get there. You may it may take five hours instead of three, and it's okay. You know why you're going there. You're going there for family and connection. Maybe you're going there to see your your your child If you're doing um if you're engaging in anything, having that clarity helps. And so um Mind changes. Some people stay very clear. Mine is moves around in kind of the emotional landscape. And yet if I'm tuned to my why and I've gotten good at quieting my primitive brain, which is going to argue with that then I can live that thriving life. My emotional world is tuned to the the the the things that I want to have in it

**Cathy Vartuli**
*42:29*
Yeah, absolutely. Um, so I think that finding our why is one of the most important things we can do in anything in life. Um knowing where we're going and why is terrifying as well. And a lot of us don't know it as clearly as we want. because our primitive brain just doesn't want it want us to look at that. If the cats are seeming very attractive right now, it could be because knowing your why while it might feel amazing is really scary because It will that why? Knowing that purpose will draw you out of your fear. It will draw you outside of the bushes that you've been hiding in. And it makes life richer and deeper and all the things that I want to create in the world, like all the things I want to experience are outside those bushes. I can't have them in my bo in the bushes, even though I'm I tend to be very shy and quiet and I would like to stay in the bushes. My life does not work well that way. It's not delightful for me And I have to keep reminding myself to get out of the bushes. But when I'm clear on my why, when I'm clear about what matters to me, it's not really hard to step out of the bushes. And my primitive brain isn't always delighted. It's much better because I've done so much tapping and I've shifted how my brain thinks about things. Um but tuning into that why is not always easy. And if you have that clarity clarity congratulations, that's wonderful. I always like to take mine deeper, but One of the things we're going to well we'll do some more tapping and and uh uh uh share some other things in just a minute, but one of the things Rick and I are doing is we're uh reopening the uh primitive brain program. starting tonight. And we're going to run a special a couple calls with that, one of which is a little bit longer call where we're going to really help you dig into discovering your why. I've done a lot of work on this and um I love the feeling I've seen people, an audience full of people with tears in their eyes as they started to tune into this as they started to get clear on their passions. And I've seen people, once they got that, step out and just people are like, Who are you? Like you're doing things that no one's ever seen you do before. You're doing things that no one would have predicted were possible for them. And it's just such it's kind of like grabbing on the back of a freight train. It just pulls you forward in such a beautiful way. Very consensual. You can always stop. Like you you can you're it's not that you're forced to It's just that you're it's so so delicious. And think back I guess my memory as a child was I would remember Saturday mornings, I couldn't wait to get up and watch cartoons 'cause I was like So much fun. I can get a bowl of cereal and sit in front of the TV and have all this really fun stuff come towards me. That's how I feel when I'm really attuning to my purpose and my passion and when I'm working on it. It's like Saturday morning I get to get up, have a big bowl of sugary cereal and watch bug the bunny for three hours. Um and I think life gets to be like that if we have the courage to discover what our purpose and our passion is and live our life that way. Um, and so we're gonna have part of what we're doing is we're doing a special call as part of the primitive brain where we'll help you tune into that, help you get clear on that and then help you clear out the things that might be keeping you h huddled in the bushes rather than out there in the world. Uh, 'cause the world needs you

**Rick Wilkes**
*46:16*
The other call is going to be to help you keep going with confidence. Because one of the things that we've noticed is that Maintaining your movement forward because there's a natural, there's there are natural stops where we reconsolidate. I call them the rest stops along the way. And it's Getting back in getting back in the car and moving forward is something that the primitive brain resists. So we're going to go deeper into that as well. And the interest of being generous. People that sign up for the primitive brain course right now are also going to get a 20-minute one-on-one session with me. And I've never done that before. So valuable.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*47:02*
Oh yeah.

**Rick Wilkes**
*47:03*
With people. But I am really feeling at this time in our in our evolution and what's happening that I want to engage with people's hearts. I know that those that want to emerge um may not be ready to fully emerge. That's the idea. Yeah. So um I we're going to start with that. And so if you're interested, the link for that is thrivingnow. com slash primitive dash brain. thrivingnow. com slash primitive dash brain and you can learn more. And that uh for those of you that have already taken that course, we would love your honest feedback about. the the things that you you found challenging about it, the ways that you may have observed that your life has changed in the comments on that page. That would be really helpful because we know that we're co-creating this with everyone that's been through the program before. We open it, we try to open it up once a year, sometimes twice, but this year only once. And So yeah, thank you. Thrivingnow. com slash primitive dash brain.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*48:22*
So yeah, it's much more and just to encourage you if if you've been on the fence about this this is a good time to go through it because there'll be other people in this group going through and it is very encouraging to see other people kind of a Oh, they're doing it too and it's not quite so scary because it is a very inten the course is intense and there's a lot of material in it and people that have gone through it have felt transformed. I I've been so exciting to be part of that and help people move through that. Yeah.

**Rick Wilkes**
*48:54*
All right.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*48:56*
Yeah.

**Rick Wilkes**
*48:57*
If you are on the webcast, um feel free to submit a c a question and answer. If you're on the call, start too. If you have a question about um the primitive brain program or about the three mistakes that we've covered. We'd love to hear from you.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*49:11*
Yeah, do a little bit of tapping with someone if you're stuck on something.

**Rick Wilkes**
*49:16*
Mm-hmm Yeah. Shall we do s um How about we do some tapping? You're really good at at did you have a volunteer I don't see a volunteer yet. Um would you like to lead us in some tapping to uh just give us a little bit more body confidence to emerge, some of the you know, quiet and act you know, quietly activate our our um our spiritual muscles, our energy muscles here, our emotional muscles, to to stretch and move within our crystalis a little bit.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*49:53*
Yeah. All right, take a nice slow deep breath. Right. Well I'm gonna go with the bunny analogy because it's one that's that's coming up for me try to trap. Even though I've been a quiet bunny in the bushes.

**Rick Wilkes**
*50:09*
Even though I've been a quiet bunny in the bushes.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*50:12*
And I that feels safe.

**Rick Wilkes**
*50:15*
And that has felt safe

**Cathy Vartuli**
*50:17*
It's also a little bit boring here in the bushes.

**Rick Wilkes**
*50:21*
It's actually a little boring here in the bushes.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*50:24*
And you know what?

**Rick Wilkes**
*50:27*
And you know what?

**Cathy Vartuli**
*50:29*
Bunnies can be kind of fierce.

**Rick Wilkes**
*50:32*
Bunnies can be kind of fierce.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*50:35*
I don't know that I need to hide in the bushes anymore.

**Rick Wilkes**
*50:38*
I don't need to n I don't I do though. I don't know that I need to hide in the bushes or even that I'm a bunny.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*50:49*
When I was little it was good to hide. Yeah

**Rick Wilkes**
*50:52*
Yeah, uh when I was little it was good at times to really hide and be good at it. It was smart.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:00*
But now I don't need to hide.

**Rick Wilkes**
*51:03*
But now I don't need to hide.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:05*
I can feel that power and purpose inside me.

**Rick Wilkes**
*51:09*
Hmm I can feel that power and purpose inside of me.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:16*
And I can step out of the damn bushes.

**Rick Wilkes**
*51:19*
And I can step out of the damn bushes.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:22*
Top of the head. I invite my body to feel how powerful it really is.

**Rick Wilkes**
*51:27*
I invite my body to feel how powerful it really is.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:32*
I remind my heart that it can direct my life.

**Rick Wilkes**
*51:35*
I remind my heart it can direct my life.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:40*
Out of the eye, I am tired of hiding and playing small.

**Rick Wilkes**
*51:44*
I am tired of hiding and playing small.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:48*
Under the eye, I am ready to make a difference

**Rick Wilkes**
*51:52*
I am ready to make a difference.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*51:54*
And then I'm ready to emerge from my fear and limited beliefs.

**Rick Wilkes**
*52:00*
I am ready to emerge from my fears and limiting beliefs.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*52:05*
Chen, it is time.

**Rick Wilkes**
*52:08*
It is time.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*52:10*
Collarbone. And I invite the universe to give me clarity

**Rick Wilkes**
*52:16*
And I invite the universe to give me clarity.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*52:20*
I invite the universe to help me direct my purpose and passion.

**Rick Wilkes**
*52:26*
I invite the universe to help me direct my purpose and my passion.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*52:31*
Top of the head. And I invite my purpose and passion to be stronger within me.

**Rick Wilkes**
*52:37*
And I invite my purpose and my passion to be stronger within me.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*52:42*
Nice deep breath.

**Rick Wilkes**
*52:49*
And just notice that we're going to be able to do that. Yeah. Great my great mind. Think alike. Um yeah, we that's what you go to next. is tuning in and feeling for what's happening and please know that if you feel hot, if you feel cold, if you feel a little quivery, if you feel stronger than you've felt in a long time. All of that is deeply and completely acceptable. Your moving energy by being here, present, Engaging the best you can, you're setting an intention that you want to engage in a different way, emerge into the next fuller version of yourself. I think that's the key thing for me and why this program I'm still so deeply interested in it. Why I so want to engage with people h people's hearts. wherever they are in their journey. Because I see in my own life over the decades that there's an emerging and an emerging. There's a wonderful documentary about the monarch butterfly. I watched it last night and my sweetie and I were crying. It was so beautiful. the this couple was searching for where the monarchs came from and where they went to. And I had no idea that the monarchs that start their Laying of eggs in Texas, the ones that finally make it up to Canada, for example, are three generations later There are three evolutions, grand children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren that are involved in just the dirt journey north. And then there's a super version that is bigger and more capable that flies and they never knew where it flew to and they fly by the millions to come together in a safe haven for the winter time down in Mexico. They are it is and by coming together that way, it's one of the most beautiful sights that you can imagine. And I it really struck me preparing for this call that there have been evolutions of myself and I feel myself emerging again, yet again, yet again, yet again, another generation of Rick that is coming into a a different kind of expression. And That to me is the model for us as as as as people, as a a group that is sharing something very sacred together. We may not share exactly the same DNA, like we're direct family, but we share an awful lot of what makes us tribe as a humanity. The emotional side of this, the primitive brain reactions, you can look at all around the world in the news And on in so many things that you see posted everywhere when people are in their primitive brain and you can feel it in your body that it activates and it drains and strains us to be especially us that are sensitive. It there's a a drain and a strain the more that people are in their primitive brain because it's trying to get us to do something when a lot of times there's that's not the call. The call is often to soothe ourselves, to connect with one another to allow ourselves to be awkward and to make mistakes and to really tune into our heart's desire, our why, and Communicate that and share that with one another. Please, if you have a why that has come to you tonight, I would Cathy and I read all the messages that come to support at thrivingnow. com. We invite you to share with us. And if you're interested in this program, thrivingnow. com slash primitive dash brain, take a look and see if it's right for you. And if it's not, that's cool too. We're excited to work with the the next group of people. And for those of you that are on the Thriving Now team, this is really core. You have you continually come together. There I see so many of you here on the call tonight. that you have made this a part of your passion and your purpose each time we come together. And I want to honor you for showing up. And I deeply and completely feel your support. Without you This would not be the same kind of co-creation. So thank you so much.

**Cathy Vartuli**
*57:36*
Take a nice slow deep breath. And just appreciate yourself for a minute. You looked at something that's very scary for a lot of people, and you gave yourself some space to be present with yourself It's really powerful. We hope that your your body and your mind and your heart all feel the blessings of having been with tribes for a little while, being with a group of people They have common purpose and intention, even if their purpose, their individual purpose might be very different. Everyone here tonight was here because they wanted to discover themselves a little more. And that's a beautiful thing. You did a great job and we are so glad you're here with us. Awesome. Yeah, you're all unmuted. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for lovely home.

**Speaker 3**
*58:33*
Thank you. Thanks everyone. Big hugs to you all. Nice.