August 28, 2013 by Rick

I Feel So Embarrassed By…

We had a teleclass on this very topic… A recording you can listen and tap along with is available here: – It’s only $7.


by Rick Wilkes


I dance on the treadmill. I flail my arms, skip and hop, twist and turn, shake and shimmy, pump my arms and pirouette… It’s so embarrassing! Just ask my inner teenager…

Yeah, when I was a teenager I would only do things that made me look GROWN-UP, but never anything that would reveal me to be the playful happy dork I really am. (I didn’t dance at all, much less would I have been caught dead dancing on a treadmill. My body was lanky and awkward… or at least that is the way it felt to traumatized-me.)

Teenagers naturally have a hypersensitive sense of whether they “fit in” or not. Socialization is, for the most part, still about looking and acting and sounding like your peers. That is pressure enough! But I also had been taunted as a child (as most boys my generation were) with epithets like queer and faggot. While those didn’t feel good to anyone, the sexual abuse that was a part of my world in 8-10th grades made those sticky icky irritants to an already troubled and confused sense of myself.

Today, I can feel how suppressed I was by the POSSIBILITY of embarrassing myself. I know the courage it took decades later to go to that first Zumba dance class. I know how much I needed skilled support to truly help me clear the old traumas and fears of embarrassment that used to stop me. Indeed, they would be stopping me still if I hadn’t brought them forward in a safe setting to clear them.

That “safe setting” wasn’t just the inner spaces of my own heart. Yes, that was part of the healing journey. I remember meditating and journaling about what had happened in my life. Acknowledging our own secrets is an important step. Yet, it was when I finally had found a safe space to transform them from secrets… to secrets no longer that my BODY could relax. While my coaches at the time didn’t use EFT Tapping specifically (it didn’t exist yet), they did tap and rub and comfort my meridians, soothe my energy and ground me, and co-created a space where I felt I could deeply and completely accept myself.

It’s why this topic of embarrassment is so close to my heart and a core part of my mission. I know that when we look at what might be TOO embarrassing to consider doing (even though we want to do it!), we’re knocking on the door of our secrets and our suppressions. They are the chains that keep us from dancing and the irritants that keep our worry and anxiety flaring.

The Good News is that if you were not open to addressing your embarrassments, you probably would have skipped this article or stopped reading by now. <smile> So, Cathy and I would like to invite you to engage with us. We have a few different options, and we’re confident that all can help:

1) You can email us at We read every message (and we’re the only ones who do right now). Let us know what you’re embarrassed by. Or, as I might have said long ago, “I’m embarrassed by something… but I’m too embarrassed to talk about it yet!” (Tapping is perfect for those situations.)

2) Purchase the teleclass recording (it’s only $7) and listen and tap along while you do. Group work is so very powerful for clearing this energy.

3) Private coaching sessions can be amazingly helpful. Many people find that their primitive brain first needs to feel that acceptance from one person before they can step forward in a group setting. That said, when it comes to embarrassment and shame… true healing, integration, and self-acceptance becomes deep and complete when you feel you’re part of a circle of people who accept you anyway.

Over the next month I’m going to be offering a private, 20-minute coaching session and a three week introductory group membership to 25 people… as a gift to those who are ready, willing, and able to actively participate in our group calls and private forum… who want to TAP TOGETHER with Cathy and me to clear embarrassment and start living with surprising confidence. If you feel in your gut that you’ve been wanting just this kind of situation to show up, please email me at, and if there’s still room I’ll send you the link to get started.

Most of all, I want to thank you for being the kind of person who is willing to consider how past shame and the fear of future embarrassment might be stopping you from living a thriving life. Once we understand what blocks us personally, it activates compassion within our hearts when we see people struggling to step-up and step out. I also believe it makes us more aware of the personal victories in our lives… and makes it easy and natural for us to boldly celebrate when others overcome their lifelong avoidance of possible embarrassment to sing, paint, write, love, laugh… and dance.

All the best to you,



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