Transform Your Emotions with Energy Tapping (EFT)

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Free video presentation… see below!

Would you ask a 3-year-old what house to buy? Do you ask a 5-year-old who to date? If you have unresolved traumas from when you were 3- or 5-years-old, these frozen memories may have more impact on these adult decisions than you might think. You can find out what might be blocking you by watching this 14-minute video…

Most people think of “trauma” as nasty car accidents, muggings, child abuse, and war. But to a 3-year-old, Mommy suddenly “disappearing” because of a new job can be traumatic if the child feels rejected or abandoned.

Being ridiculed at Show-and-Tell can affect how we hold ourselves in public, sometimes for the rest of our lives… if we don’t release the frozen pain of that experience.

“Small” traumas can affect our self-worth, our sense of safety, how much love we allow in, and how abundant we feel.

Traumas change our vibration… often below the level of consciousness (and thus, by the Law of Attraction, they affect what we draw into our life.)

Why is that? What is going on and how do we change this?

We have put together a video sharing how big and little traumas are held in the body and mind, and how we can release them.

If you cannot watch the video due to a slow internet connection, here is a PDF Document of the presentation and a MP3 Audio File.

Next, let’s talk about how to use Inner Tapping to help. (Click link for the companion video.)

Links in the presentation:
- Introduction to Energy Tapping (EFT)
- Grounding Exercises
- Inner Tapping (companion video)
- Thriving Now Team – Group Coaching Program

I really just want to know how to be able to do the important tasks… instead of all of them. I need help prioritizing. –Debbie

How are you deciding what tasks are important? Many of us are tuned to external direction. We get bombarded with different priorities from our boss, our spouse, our friends, advertising on TV, and even our mother. No wonder we’re not sure where to start!

What is important to YOU?

Many of us have no idea how to answer that question. We were never taught how to hear our own priorities and wants. They were overshadowed by the noise and demands all around us.

What do you really want to experience in life? Will this task help you get it?

One way to know what’s really important (rather than what you think or were taught SHOULD be important to you), is to tune into your body.

For instance, you may have heard over and over again as a child that you MUST work hard to save every penny so you had financial security. But in your heart, you may long for more freedom. You may have enough abundance that hiring someone to clean the house would be well worth the money spent. What could you do with the time you would otherwise spend cleaning? Even though it may “violate” the rules you were taught, you it okay to now hold different priorities in your heart.

Our bodies are powerful truth detectors, once we learn how to read them. We often recommend starting small. This audio guides you through a simple exercise that can teach you to listen to your inner truth detector:

Listen (04:53) or Download MP3

As you learn simple Body Yes and Body No’s you can apply them to your task list. Is it more important to answer that email or do the laundry? Which one seems like a better choice to my body… right NOW?

Following your inner guidance can bring a deeper happiness and a easier flow to your life. You won’t have to fight the resistance that comes from listening to everyone but yourself.

If you want to learn more about listening your body, our Free Yourself Program covers this topic extensively, and also teaches other skills that can make priorities a breeze! It’s on sale so get your copy now!

I want to feel love and happiness. Right now I feel kind of blah. I don’t get much intensity about things, but I don’t feel very good either. I’ve done a lot of tapping, and I tried other things to help. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling. What can I do to feel more good feelings? I really want to feel those great emotions! — Neal

Could you ask yourself if it feels safe to feel good? Do you deserve to feel good? If not, or if you just feel tense and uneasy when you think about those questions, you may have some subconscious blocks and fears holding you back.

You sound like you’re doing a lot of supportive things to help yourself. And someone who wasn’t open to love and joy wouldn’t be working this hard to find it!

Can you daydream about feeling happy? Sometimes that’s a great way to target the fears that are lurking below the surface. If you create a “story” about you being happy, and let it play forward, what happens to you? Do you get to enjoy the happiness… or does something unpleasant happen in your daydream?

Instead of beating yourself up or being disappointed if your story takes a negative turn, look at it as evidence of what your subconscious believes. Our imagination can be a powerful way to connect with our primitive brain and hidden beliefs.

For instance, when I used to daydream about success, I would feel happy for a little bit… but then I would find myself imagining people yelling at me and being really unhappy. My subconscious believed that if I let it shine it would cause conflict and jealousy in those close to me.

Once I understood what the fear was, I could ask myself where I learned that. I had a list of several events that taught me not to sparkle too much, including my kindergarten teacher ridiculing me for making a mistake when I counted higher than she asked me to. Silly, I know, but my 5 year old self decided if she “showed off” people would get angry.

Each of the events is great tapping material. You can do inner tapping or just tap on the memory like normal.

You might also ask yourself if you feel safe with “negative” emotions like anger and sadness. If you’re resisting them, they could be blocking the higher vibration feelings you’re looking for.

If you’re not much of a daydreamer, you can do some tapping and see what comes up. Even if the phrase doesn’t seem to apply to you, try tapping on it anyway. You might be surprised what comes up when your brain corrects the inaccurate statement.

If you get a strong negative reaction to a phrase, see if you can tune in and ask why you feel that way (this is where a coach or a trusted friend can help you have the courage to dig a bit deeper and see things clearer).

Karate Chop: Even though I’m not sure what I’m feeling, and that makes it hard to tap, I wonder why I don’t notice my feelings very much. I ask for clarity and guidance, and I’d like to learn to feel all the richness of my emotions.

Even though I really want to feel love and joy, I don’t right now. I must not deserve to feel good! It certainly isn’t safe to feel good! I wonder where I learned this. I ask my subconscious to clue me in so I can understand what’s going on.

Even though I just don’t feel much, and that felt like the safest strategy for a long time… I thank my brain for coming up with such a powerful solution, and I ask it to notice that a lot has changed. Maybe it’s safe to feel again.

Top of the Head: I’m not sure what I’m feeling.
Eyebrow: I’d like to reclaim my emotions.
Side of the Eye: All of them.
Under the Eye: I’m not sure where they went…
Under the Nose: But I know I had a good reason for stuffing them down.
Chin: I want to feel joy.
Collarbone: I want to feel love.
Under the Arm: Those feelings make life beautiful and worth living.

Top of the Head: I guess it wasn’t safe…
Eyebrow: Or maybe I was convinced I didn’t deserve to feel good.
Side of the Eye: Part of me decided to hide my emotions.
Under the Eye: I invite them back now.
Under the Nose: It was a good solution back then.
Chin: I was pretty clever!
Collarbone: But now it’s safe to have them.
Under the Arm: And I deserve to feel good.

Top of the Head: I guess I could start with baby steps.
Eyebrow: Could I allow a soft smile?
Side of the Eye: A little genuine laughter?
Under the Eye: Or just a chuckle?
Under the Nose: Does that feel safe?
Chin: Does that break a rule?
Collarbone: I ask for clarity…
Under the Arm: And gentle insights…
Top of the Head:To help me feel love and joy again.

Take a deep breath.

What did you notice? Where there any strong reactions? If you haven’t been noticing your emotions for a long time for whatever reason, it may be helpful to notice body sensations instead. Does your stomach feel relaxed and open… or tight and resistant? Tuning into your body may help you reconnect with your emotions.

If you’re ready to enjoy and celebrate your life, we want you to come play! Each joyful person raises everyone’s vibration. Our Group Coaching Program is geared to help you find your own inner joy and guidance. We have tools and approaches that can help you start feeling better, today.

Each day offers us an opportunity to look at where we’ve come from and re-evaluate where we’re going. Right NOW, all of us have new year… bright and shiny… stretched out before us. We need not wait for the next New Year’s Day.

If you find the tapping helpful, please share this with a friend (if they sign up at www.thrivingnow.com/subscribe they’ll get our free e-book, 7 Tapping Scripts to Help You Live an Abundant and Thriving Life… Now!)

What changes can you celebrate from the past 365 days?

They may not be what you expected to see happen in your life. Sometimes the subtle miracles are both the most amazing… and the easiest to miss.

Were you a just a teensy bit more present this year? More open to wonder? A little less triggered and traumatized?

Was your mind quieter and more peaceful? Did you have more vitality?

Celebrating and appreciating such changes is a wonderful way to start the Next New Year for YOU. Positive tapping can help strengthen the changes and may give you the “juice” to take the next step.

How did you feel a year ago today? What hopes and dreams captured your imagination. What heart’s desires did you want to achieve… what experiences did you want to explore?

Do those goals still feel right for you NOW.. or have you EVOLVED?

We often feel sad when we’re letting go of old dreams… even if they’re outdated and don’t fit anymore. Some gentle tapping, thanking those old dreams for inspiring you to grow can allow you to move forward with ease and laughter.

What did you hope to accomplish that you didn’t? What blocks do you think may be standing in your way? If you feel disappointed that you didn’t make more progress, tapping can help release the energy trapped in those negative emotions and give you fresh incentive and inspiration.

Let’s do some tapping!

Karate Chop: Even though I didn’t accomplish EVERYTHING that I wanted to this past year, and I’m feeling pretty disappointed in myself, I’m open to loving and accepting myself anyway.

Even though part of me is convinced that I screwed up and failed again, I’m willing to find a new way of looking at this and feeling surprisingly relaxed and positive.

Even though I didn’t accomplish all I wanted to, I’m open to noticing a few of the positive changes I did make and finding ways to releasing the blocks and hurt I’m holding onto.

Top of the Head: I am disappointed.
Eyebrow: I really thought I was going to make it this year.
Side of the Eye: I tried really hard.
Under the Eye: Or maybe not at all.
Under the Nose: But I didn’t reach my goals.
Chin: And that’s so frustrating.
Collarbone: I wonder what’s holding me back…
Under the Arm: Will I ever get there?

Top of the Head: I’m disappointed.
Eyebrow: But I am getting stronger.
Side of the Eye: I have new understanding…
Under the Eye: And some new insights.
Under the Nose: I didn’t reach all my goals…
Chin: And I would have really liked to!
Collarbone: But I did accomplish some wonderful things.
Under the Arm: And I’m changing the way I feel about myself… NOW.

Top of the Head: I still have desires.
Eyebrow: And I’d love to experience them.
Side of the Eye: Maybe I can appreciate myself a bit more right NOW.
Under the Eye: And notice the positive changes I did make.
Under the Nose: They feel really good.
Chin: I love that I have the courage to change.
Collarbone: I have a whole new year in front of me… everyday.
Under the Arm: Who knows what I might accomplish?
Top of the Head: I invite the Universe to help me… and to make it really fun!

Take a deep breath.

How do you feel about your new-year-to-come now? What came up for you as you tapped and made those statements aloud?

- Are there old memories of other times you were disappointed? With this awareness, they are easier to address. Inner Tapping can help release them.

- Are you fixated on one particular goal that you haven’t been able to reach? Maybe it’s time to get some help! Think how free you would feel if you weren’t stuck!

- And if you’re feeling more relaxed and energized for Today’s New Year… Congratulations!

If you’ve been struggling to change your life, we invite you to join our Group Coaching Program. You can wait another year to see what  happens Or You Can Start Changing Your Life 2 Minutes From Now!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/team

We also have a new Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Authentic Action coaching package to help you change your blocks and disappointment into empowerment. The very beliefs and energy that are holding you back can be transformed into your greatest ally!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/cpro-90transform/

by Jason Z, The first step is to start – (37signals), with notes by Rick

Many people ask me, “How can I get started in web design?” or, “What skills do I need to start making web applications?” While it would be easy to recommend stacks of books, and dozens of articles with 55 tips for being 115% better than the next guy, the truth is that you don’t need learn anything new in order to begin. The most important thing is simply to start.

Rick: Jason is telling people to take ACTION as the first baby step, and for those that CAN, this is great advice. The challenge is in the RESISTANCE we feel when old traumas and “rules” we have prevent us from feeling SAFE taking any starting action at all. This is where tapping and coaching can help.

Start making something. If you want to learn web design, make a website. Want to be an entreprenuer and start a business selling web based products? Make an app. Maybe you don’t have the skills yet, but why worry about that? You probably don’t even know what skills you need.

Take a moment and answer that question. What is worry-worthy about taking a step without the skills already in place? Is it fear of looking incompetent? Where did you learn that?

You probably don’t even know what skills you need, so don’t worry about it. Start with what you already know.

You can do a lot of the work with simple sketches or slides. You’ll be able to see your idea take form and begin to evaluate whether or not it really is something special. It’s at that point you can take the next step, which might be learning enough HTML to take your prototype into the browser. The point is, go as far as you can with the skills and tools that you have.

Avoid self-doubt

Many times the reasons we don’t start something have nothing to do with lack of skills, materials, or facilities. The real blockers are self-criticism and excuses.

It’s fine to say “avoid self-doubt” and this article points out that self-doubt is indeed what stops people. As an emotional freedom coach, what I’d add is that the self-doubt serves a purpose… it is there to “keep us SAFE” even at the cost of creative expression. The primitive brain is involved. Techniques like Tapping (EFT) help shift that part of us… transforming self-doubt into curiosity.

In the excellent book, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, the author, Betty Edwards, discusses how we all draw as kids but around adolescence, many of us stop developing that ability.

“The beginning of adolescence seems to mark the abrupt end of artistic development in terms of drawing skills for many adults. As children, they confronted an artistic crisis, a conflict between their increasingly complex perceptions of the world around them and their current level of art skill.”

At that age kids become increasingly self-critical and equally interested in drawing realistically. When they fail to draw as well as they know is possible many give up drawing at all.

This feeling continues into adulthood. We want to design a website or build an application but if our own toolset doesn’t match up to the perceived skillset we never start. It doesn’t help that the internet gives us nearly limitless exposure to amazing work, talented individuals, and excellent execution. It’s easy to feel inadequate when you compare yourself to the very best, but even they weren’t born with those skills and they wouldn’t have them if they never started.

An excellent logical point. Emotionally, one way to neutralize this is to shift fear-based rules like “I have to be the BEST!!” and move towards self-empowering notions like, “I bet there is something I can learn from that person and integrate that into my practice and make it my own… perhaps even add my own unique twist!”

Do—there is no try

People who succeed somehow find a way to keep working despite the self-doubt. The artist, Vincent Van Gogh was only an artist for the last ten years of his life. We all know him for masterful works of art, but he didn’t start out as a master. Compare these examples from Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain showing an early drawing compared to one completed two years later:

Vincent Van Gogh Carpenter, 1880 and Woman Mourning, 1882

He wasn’t some child prodigy (he was 27 when he started painting), he learned his craft by hard work. If he’d listened to his own self doubt or despaired that his skills didn’t compare to Paul Gauguin’s it’s likely he never would have even tried.

This is all to say that there are many things that can get in the way of the things we should be creating. To never follow a dream because you don’t think you’re good enough or don’t have the skills, or knowledge, or experience is a waste. In fact, these projects where there is doubt are the ones to pursue. They offer the greatest challenge and the greatest rewards. Why bother doing something you already have done a hundred times, where there is nothing left to learn? Don’t worry about what you need to know in order to finish a project, you already have everything you need to start.

Sometimes we are simply blocked. I so appreciate Jason Z for pointing out that so much creative expression is blocked by self-doubt. And he’s right that you already HAVE everything you NEED to start… a desire, an impulse, a dream. And if you are saying to yourself things like “I don’t have the skills” or “I’ll never be good enough” …consider whether those statements MIGHT just be there to try and keep you emotionally safe. If so, the first step might be to build up some more emotional skill and resilience. Yes, use your desire as something to draw you forward. And at the same time, take an emotional journey where you let go of old traumas and “failures” that block you from enjoying being a curious and engaged beginner. –Rick, support@thrivingnow.com

With so many information sources available today, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all the choices. Sometimes when we are presented with a lot of choices, and have limited time (who doesn’t?), we end up doing nothing. It can feel like we’re invited to a free buffet… so we MUST eat everything there, right?!?! Selecting just the most delicious options, the ones that seem like a really good fit for us right here right now, can make it easier to move forward. Doing a few rounds of tapping can calm that feeling of overwhelm and bring clarity and direction to our decisions.

Karate Chop: Even though there is so much to choose from, and I can’t listen to it all, I am a good person, and I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

Even though I feel overwhelmed, and rather frozen in the face of all this information, I don’t have to listen to everything to benefit. I ask the universe to bring my attention to the calls that would be most helpful to me, right here, right now.

Even though part of me feels like I would be missing out if I skipped anything, I can still learn and move forward by listening to what feels right. I might even listen snippets of some recordings and be ok with that!

Top of the Head: Don’t I have to do it all?!
Eyebrow: I’m afraid to miss out.
Side of the Eye: I feel overwhelmed.
Under the Eye: I want to feel grateful for this information…
Under the Nose: …but I don’t think I can absorb it all.
Chin: What if I could listen to some of it?
Collarbone: Would that be ok?
Under the Arm: I don’t want to miss anything.

Top of the Head: Maybe I’ll listen to some of this.
Eyebrow: And trust the universe to guide my choices.
Side of the Eye: There are so many experts,
Under the Eye: I’m sure to hear some wonderful suggestions.
Under the Nose: I don’t have to eat everything at the buffet,
Chin: …to have a wonderful experience.
Collarbone: I am open to learning new perspectives and techniques.
Top of the Head: And feeling relaxed and calm in the process.

Most of us were never shown how to be self-aware in a self-empowering way. Instead, we were taught to focus on external measures… how smart (or dumb) we were… how well-groomed and successful we appeared… how polite and respectful we were to those in authority… After all, isn’t it how Other People perceive us and treat us that matters… that defines us?

So what happens…

• We run and run and run ourselves ragged to please others… and end up with fibromyalgia or cancer or some other mystery dis-ease.
• We are totally overwhelmed and consumed by grief when someone dear to us dies… and we are convinced we can never be happy again.
• We excel in ways a sibling or parent does not… we start holding back in order to make others happy… and develop a habit of self-limitation and self-denial that sticks with us.
• We enjoy delicious food and get criticized for it… skewing our relationship with everything we eat.
• We develop a phobia… and it doesn’t matter what it is… rats, snakes, elevators, water, airplanes, bridges, public speaking… and we feel like such a weakling… a loser… not good enough… less capable than everyone else.
• We were blamed for so much as a child that when a traumatic event strikes, we naturally are 100% convinced that “It’s my fault!”
• We become addicted to smoking or gambling or sex or drugs to soothe other unhealed emotional pains, and now feel so ashamed and weak-willed that we don’t really believe there is hope for us.
• We learned the hard way growing up that we MUST control and constrain all impulses–including the impulses to laugh, play, create, and love–or else we will get punished. “I must be perfect!!!” But we know we are not… and it’s stressing us to death.
• …And we should’ve known better! Right? Shoulda… woulda… coulda… We’ve mastered the art of second-guessing and self-criticizing every decision, every action, and every inaction.

If any of these apply to your world, you are not alone. It just FEELS that way sometimes, right?

Back in October 2007 I was invited to be one of the EFT practitioners leading a four day retreat. A small group of participants came together and brought their issues like grief, physical pain, phobias, disease, traumas, and addictions. The experience was filmed and is now a movie:

The Tapping Solution (formerly called Try It On Everything)! (click link or movie play button above to see the preview)

The participants knew almost nothing about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), so we started off by teaching them the basic tapping steps. And then we literally tried EFT on everything!

• On all the stuff they wished never happened in their lives… especially specific traumatic events.
• On physical pains.
• On emotional distresses and where those emotions were felt in their bodies.
• On limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.
• On regrets and self-blame.
• On relationships… past, present, future.

And what were the results??? What were the marvels and life-changing miracles the participants experienced?

Well, I am going to intentionally downplay the specifics (just as those who produced the movie have). In our culture we focus too much on the fix-a-flat aspects of healing rather than on the day-to-day aspects of going from stressed to okay and then from okay to thriving.

What the movie demonstrates poignantly are the benefits of developing the skills of:

• Self-awareness: Noticing what is going on in your habitual thoughts and in your physical body… and how the body-mind’s energies are interwoven in surprising ways.
• Self-honesty: Acknowledging how you really feel at the core… including inner conflicts… without artificial sugar-coating.
• Self-acceptance: Learning to deeply and completely accept yourself… no matter what’s in your past or your present.
• Self-empowerment: Knowing that you can now bring relief to your negative emotions and memories… no matter how long you have suffered with them.

THESE are the reasons I recommend people start using EFT and use it on everything negative that is coming up in their lives and in their bodies. Those who try EFT diligently start becoming more aware, more honest with themselves, more self-accepting, and feeling more empowered.

The movie demonstrates what happens in four days. What kind of difference could it make in your life if you used EFT every day and tried it on everything…?

Here are some suggestions:

• Buy the movie The Tapping Solution (click link to buy or see preview)
  It paints a heart-centered, under-hyped, and understandable picture of how EFT can make a difference in people’s lives… and in your life. It includes commentary by experts in energy medicine, law of attraction, medical science, limiting beliefs, pain relief, and psychology that portrays a balanced picture of how using EFT soothes disruptions and then positively uplifts the energy in the body-mind. (People who see the movie finally “get” EFT, so many people are getting copies to share with friends, family, and clients.)
• Work with a coach
  I’ve never mastered any skill working entirely on my own. Because of the nature of how the mind protects itself, self-awareness and self-acceptance are easier to develop working with a professional. There are EFT practitioners around the world, and I was honored to work on the movie with fellow practitioners Helena Johnson of www.LivDelicious.com, Steven Munn of www.YourClearPoint.com, Nick Ortner who co-created the movie, and EFT Master Carol Look of http://www.AttractingAbundance.com and Pain Relief with EFT. I also offer private coaching sessions.
• Consider working with a group
  Borrowing benefits means tapping along with others as they address their specific issues. Who of us has not experienced grief, loss, and traumas big and small? Who has not struggled with limiting beliefs? Everyone in the movie recognized that coming together made the progress faster and the emotional shifts more comprehensive. That is why the core of my emotional freedom coaching is group work through the Thriving Now Team:  http://www.thrivingnow.com/team — I encourage you to join, listen to 3-5 recorded calls (of over 500 hours in the library), and then participate on one of the 10+ calls per month. See how it works for you.
• Use EFT everyday… Try it on Everything … SERIOUSLY!
  Even three minutes five times a day… on whatever you are feeling in your body or feeling stressed about in your mind… try it and see.

Humans are emotional beings; that is one of our wondrous gifts. We love and live passionately through the emotions that flow through us. 

We move from one emotional state to another. And sometimes we develop certain emotional states that we move into easily, just as we walk, stand, or sit a particular way. I call these “emotional postures.” 

Some people stand straight and tall, with a physical posture that is balanced and strong. Some people slouch, with their back hunched, shoulders weak, and head bowed. Our physical body adopts certain positions out of habit, past injury, and repetitive movement (or lack of movement…).

Can posture be improved? Absolutely! 

To improve posture requires awareness (“there is a problem”), a willingness to change (“I’d like to have better posture”), hope that it can be changed (“I can do this”), and a long-term plan combined with new skills and exercises taught by a experienced coach. Postural change requires persistent application of these skills and exercises over a period of time until the new posture becomes “habit,” and it is the old posture that feels unnatural and unbalanced. 

Just like our physical body adopts certain postures, so too does our energy system. It is my theory that any emotion we feel “easily” and that feels comfortable “like an old shoe” to us, we’ve had a lot of practice feeling. Our energy system adopts the state easily, and while it may be a negative emotion, it nonetheless is a familiar one. 

“Worried” and “angry” are emotional postures. So are peevish, cynical, critical, lonely, unmotivated, ignored, friendless, untrusting, not-good-enough, unappreciated, and unloved. Let’s also include overwhelmed, frustrated, impatient, and stressed. If a person demonstrates such a state of being on a consistent basis, it is an emotional posture. It has become how the person stands and relates to the world. 

I used to be a worrier. I had plenty to worry about, of course. Most worriers have a list a mile long. What is interesting is that as I changed my emotional posture to be closer to “Don’t worry, Be Happy” (a song title I used to despise), I noticed that my list of things I could worry about is just as long as it used to be. Only, my emotional posture is so different, I don’t process them in the same way.

When we change physical posture, we include practices such as stretching the short, tight muscles, strengthening the long, weak muscles, using massage to bring deep relaxation and relieve localized areas of pain, adding non-habitual movement to teach the nervous system new tricks, and heightening body awareness to catch us when we start “falling” into the old posture and to maintain the proper alignment. 

When we seek to change emotional posture, we need to do similar exercises. We stretch ourselves emotionally by exploring feelings we don’t habitually feel anymore—like gratitude and forgiveness. We strengthen our emotions through affirmations that acknowledge our painful truth while choosing a brighter, more peaceful present. We use EFT to address specific painful issues and to teach our energy system a new, faster resilience in the face of all daily stresses. And we bring awareness to our emotional state so that we catch ourselves before we fall into the old posture. We use EFT, meditation, prayer, and other techniques to maintain proper alignment.

Does this sound like a lot to do on your own? Well, it is. I’ll be the first to admit that I love having help for myself and helping others. We may idolize the rugged individualist, but I think suffering alone in silence so as not to appear weak is… stupid. Sorry, men.

It does take courage to seek, ask, and receive help. Just know that the purpose is never to make you dependent on other person’s support. Changing postures can feel strange and uncomfortable; professional support can help show you how and where to focus for maximum benefit, and it helps to reflect your progress back to you. The ultimate goal is for you to feel physically vital and emotionally free, with mental clarity and a spiritual connection that becomes your personal inner guide.

Our Thriving Now Team is a group coaching service designed to help you establish powerful, new emotional postures… such as a feeling of surprising calm confidence… no matter what! If you are interested in making a shift in how you process life situations emotionally, we encourage you to try out this program. You can start your membership today.

On the Abraham-Hicks email group on Yahoogroups, a story about Esther and Jerry Hicks getting impatient waiting in a line was shared as an example of contrast and how they as humans applied the processes they teach. Now, these two individuals live an amazing life. They are thriving in every sense of the word. As master teachers, many of their students see and feel what they have and want it for themselves.

Yet, sometimes those who are still “wanting” and searching for emotional freedom can feel shocked and even lose hope if they perceive that their teachers are not perfect. Why should they ever feel impatient or ANY negative emotion if this stuff “really works?”

The question itself misses the fact that no matter how high-performance a life we have, we will always be making corrections in our course. As we come vibrationally up to speed, we are travelling faster in a more and more powerful vehicle. Someone who is crawling can veer all over the road with little impact to self or othres. A racecar driver moving at 200+ mph, on the other hand, is expected to be more focused. For example, she will feel and notice a new sound in the back end of her vehicle and give IMMEDIATE attention to the negative vibration. She will do that because she has been so tuned to the OPTIMAL operation of the vehicle that small signs of imbalance—she knows from experience—can cause significant distress if not paid attention to.

So, Esther and Jerry start feeling impatience. I suspect no one AROUND them would begin to know that. It probably was something that might look to others like no big deal. Yet, inside, they needed to fork, they needed to get back into the flow, they needed to re-perceive and connect with Source. And no doubt they did so quickly.

See, most people spend so much of their day being in resistance and emotional pain, something like impatience might even be RELIEF! Impatience might be them half way up the emotional scale from depression and despair. They feel connected to others in the line… they all have something in common that they are griping about. There is nothing quite like a mutual GripeFest to help give relief when we’re feelign powerless.

For those of us who are thriving as a daily experience, who are moving fast and with focus, the gap between thought and manifestation is smaller. We are, literally, more powerful Co-Creators than your average bear. (It will be the same for you as you practice EFT and the intentional use of the Law of Attraction.)

And with these powerful energies come all the same sensitivities you would want from a jet fighter pilot or racecar driver. A small distraction will produce feedback and then correction. Skilled correction. Practiced correction. Correction that your average person would not even notice if the Teacher did not raise it to your awareness.

It is important for those travelling through life at high vibrations, who also choose to be teachers, to be confident letting others know that perfection is not the order of the day. The practices we teach involve noticing and re-focusing. Noticing and re-focusing in ways that are ever more pleasing to us.

It is not that we as teachers will never end up in the metaphorical ditch. It is that if we do, the first reaction is, “Okay, I’m in a ditch. I know what to do: Go within. Breathe. Connect to Source. And let my emotional guidance system and intuition take me from where I am to where I’d prefer to be.”

Rick@Thrivingnow.com

Background: Norah Vincent is a female lesbian writer who spends a year-and-a-half as a man, Ned, experiencing an all-male bowling league, strip clubs, dating women, a monastery, aggressive direct sales work, and a men’s group. As an experiment in learning as much as she could about how men are treated by each other and by women, and recounting those experience back to us for our own reflection, Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Journey Into Manhood and Back Again is a worthwhile read. This is not a review of the book as much as wanting to point out the energetic experience s/he had, from my perspective as an emotional freedom coach.

Surviving As a Man
Norah Vincent isn’t a man; s/he was an imposter, and she felt like one even as she became more and more adept at interacting with males as “one of them.” What is interesting to me energetically is that “Ned’s” experiences were all in the realm of survival.

In the bowling league, she fretted about fitting in, being accepted, being treated as one of the guys. Even as a “loser” bowling around 100 (pretty miserable after a full season) yet still being accepted, s/he was spending enormous psychic energy on the sense that she would lose everything, and certainly their friendship, if they “found out.” In that respect, even though her experience was unique (gay woman literally pretending to be something she is not), at the survival level many men can relate to the feeling of being an “imposter,” of faking it. It is deeply unsettling, and Norah suffers from this living a lie, despite her research objectives and knowing that she would eventually return to being herself.

One interesting aspect in the bowling experience is how little she expected to be accepted, yet how quickly she was—from the first handshakes. And when she was “found out” (meaning when the mask was laid down and she became more authentic to the members of her team), the relationship deepened with all of them. She attributes most of this to her perceived differences in how men relate to other men and how much more easily they can talk to women. Perhaps that is generally true. Yet, how different a vibe we give off when we are being authentic and feeling safer and honest in our own skin vs. when we are faking it.

It’s interesting, too, her observations about how generally accepting these men were, much to her surprise. I wonder how often we as individuals have expectations that we have to “be” a certain way in order to fit in when in fact all we really have to be is authentic, and we’ll attract people into our lives who like and appreciate Who We Really Are. Norah demonstrated that even as a total imposter, s/he was never subject to the kind of emotional OR physical abuse she most feared. These men had moved beyond the kinds of base survival issues that on a gut level she feared were still at play. I consider that comforting, especially for men who have never felt like they “fit in” or that they had to morph themselves just as much (or more) than Norah did in order to be acceptable.

Man As a Sexual Animal
Norah’s visits to the strip clubs captured Man and Woman as coarse sexual animals, the lowest vibrations of sexual energy. The words, jokes, and visuals here feel dirty, shameful, and unsettling. And she vividly captures the way that for all concerned, the experience over time depletes vitality. It lowers sexuality to bathroom level (as even her friend Jimmy notes from his nightmare).

Sexual energy is a powerful force. It is the core of creating life continuation. It also can be expressed through ALL energy centers, from the most root need to possess and interpenetrate to the bliss of spiritual and heart-centered union and co-creation. Norah’s overall experiences in the strip clubs and even in dating and the workplace were “down scale” so to speak. Base sexual survival energies. These exist, and they are often labelled as a volatile and untrustworthy aspect of a man’s core energy.

To ignore these energies is impossible for most healthy men. As Jimmy put it in the book, although I will paraphrase, having not had sex for two months left him ready to lift up the corner of the house. Sure, Jimmy uses a more raw set of words to describe his growing inner need to “do something,” but we shouldn’t miss the point that this man, whose wife is dying of cancer, has powerful energy moving in him. Some men will sublimate this energy into guilt and shame (and die of prostate cancer). Others will express it as a simmering and sometimes explosive rage (and die of heart disease). One client of mine described it as a huge volcano building inside him… and it terrified him to imagine the destruction if he allowed it to be unleashed.

If we are going to acknowledge (and often condemn) the potential destructiveness of this energy, there is also a call for all of us to honor and respect its creative power as it moves “up scale” to INCLUDE and INTEGRATE with the energy centers of heart, throat, mind, inner vision, and greater consciousness. While some cultures recognize this energy progression and the tell-tale signs of whether a man feels whole and complete or fragmented and frustrated, our awareness and comfort with these issues is still stunted.

Right now, there exists NO cultural pathway from boyhood to manhood, other than losing one’s virginity (which kids are told not to do) and getting an unlimited drivers license (which is being deferred to older ages, just as drinking alcohol has been, another weak but still acknowledged “rite of passage.”) Indeed, our schools seem to be oblivious to the fact that by the age of 14 in some not-so-ancient tribes, a boy became a man through acts of courage… say, by killing a lion with nothing but a spear. Yet, the same genetic person is sitting in a classroom all day and expected to study all night, with physical education classes now emphasizing the study of health more than the experiencing of physical vitality.

Many Ways of Moving Energy
From the bowlers dissatisfied with their jobs and yearning for the release offered by lap dances in strip clubs, to the actively sexually supressed energies of the monastery she visited, to the sales processes turned into sexualized conquests for near minimum wage, Norah does take us on a tour of certain areas of male experience where unbalanced energies are prevalent and true emotional freedom is rarely seen. I don’t pretend to have easy solutions; these are cultural tides that will change over time, as they have considerably in my lifetime.

Indeed, my son and daughter have played co-ed sports up to high school age. They know how to team with, work with, compete with, and WIN with members of the opposite sex. It is natural and comfortable for them. In the workplaces I’ve been in, while there is certainly an awareness of sexuality, there is predominantly powerful collaboration and mutual respect earned based on individual talents rather than chromosonal make-up. I have both male and female clients, and I find that the best way to describe our evolution of thought is as “fellow humans” rather than in any way stereotypically male or female, especially when we factor in the broad range of ways humans are sexually attracted to one another across and between genders.

It diminishes all of us not to do more to help balance out the masculine and feminine within EACH person. Wholeness respects the unique mix of energies within the individual, just as Norah is a highly unique mix of sexuality, intellect, and creativity herself. Some need powerful physical experiences individually or as a part of a team. Some need reflection, solitude, and meditation. All of us are served well by a strong connection to our inner Source of well-being and intuition.

I see the core path of balancing disrupted energies in the EFT set-up statement:

“Even though I feel ___(truth about how you feel in the moment)___, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

EFT works by acknowledging the pain (sexual, emotional, physical, and even spiritual) and transforming that pain into a healthier place. Combined with tapping on the acupoints, it powerfully connects Thought with Action and Intention. For men, for women, for boys, and for girls… it is one powerful way to help all of us move fully and confidently into our co-creative power, while honoring and directing the passion that our sexuality brings to our lives.

I’m smarter than the average bear. And I’m cool with that. Yet, many times when growing up, it seems that I focused my attention on painful examples where potential friends (and especially potential girlfriends) were not comfortable with my genius—and were even intimidated. It stopped being fun to be smart. One of my personal joys with EFT was returning to a place where my gifts feel natural and enjoyable to me. I did this by looking at all the specific events where teachers, friends, employees, and others interacted with me in a way that *I* started limiting myself.

Isn’t that what a limiting belief really is? Isn’t it a way to put a governor on our potential? “Nope, you can’t make it easy. Your brother/sister/mother/father/co-worker/friend has to work HARD for his success.” Indeed, we have such a cultural bias that it has to be hard that we do NOT celebrate how easy it can be for those whose gifts and energy are in alignment. Sure, we talk about flow and being in The Zone. But the T.V. specials are about Lance Armstrong overcoming testicular and brain cancer. Or about so-and-so overcoming drug addiction, or depression, or an eating disorder.

Frankly, what I see from an energy perspective is extremely gifted people energetically making life harder. And we are so free, we can absolutely challenge ourselves (to near death even)! We can attract to us really dramatic experiences and beat the drum of them to show, “Hey, it wasn’t easy for me either!!!” I have no judgment about that, yet I ask my clients whether that is truly their heart’s desire.

Or, rather than making it hard, how about if it were surprisingly easy? I mean, if you’ve spent a lifetime making it hard on yourself, allowing life to be easy, allowing your creativity and genius to flow forth… will be hard! At least initially. That is where EFT can help. We look at the limiting beliefs, and we consciously decide whether they feel good to us. And if they do not, we take steps to shift the energy.

If you are reading this, it is my assumption that you have powerful creative gifts. Allowing it to be easy is a skill you can remember. If you want some coaching, consider becoming a Thriving Now Team Member.

I was reading on Gary Craig’s EFT website the following article by Ron Ball of http://www.eftzone.com/ which gives a specific example of a learned limiting belief.

I had a business client, Jerry, with some stress and success blocks that he wanted to explore. We tapped on various beliefs and fears around unworthiness, guilt, rejection, greed, and scarcity. There wasn’t much of an emotional charge to any of these. Then I suggested to Jerry to tap on the different EFT points. While doing so, he was to ask his subconscious or creative mind what the block might be. Jerry was to relax and be receptive. In less than a minute, it happened. Jerry had an “aha” experience and an emotional reaction when he uncovered his limiting belief. The intensity of his feelings was quite high—a strong 10. After tapping a few rounds of EFT, he smiled and had a calmness about him. What was Jerry’s limiting belief?

Actually, it’s one that many people have without realizing. The belief is:

“You shouldn’t think you’re better than other people.”

Jerry remembered hearing it from his teacher in the first grade in elementary school. Since an authority figure said it, my client believed it as a “universal truth.” The word “better” is loaded with subjective meanings. Although the teacher may have intended to teach Jerry to have humility or respect for others, it was a negative affirmation that stayed with my client all these years. What if the teacher had flipped the negative, limiting belief to a positive one. For example, what if the teacher had said:

* You have unique talents and abilities and so do other people.

* Diversity is wonderful. You’ll find more things to appreciate in people.

* Each of us has our own brilliance. What’s yours?

* You’re so good at [talent]. Isn’t that exciting?

People are more talented than other people at some things. Or at least they believe they are and isn’t that the foundation for creating it their reality?

* Barbra Streisand is a better singer than most people.

* David Copperfield is a better magician than most people.

* Emeril Lagasse is a better cook than most people.

* Alice Walker is a better writer than most people.

* Lance Armstrong is a better cyclist than most people.

Each of us are “better” at some things than other people. It may be an innate gift. Also, some people put more effort into things. Some people hone their talent. Some people have more passion. Some people are more willing to go out of their comfort zone than others. Some people exert more energy into achieving their potential. And the list goes on.

If you have this belief, here are some EFT setup phrases, you might try. Or discover your own:

Even though someone told me a long time ago not to think I’m better than other people, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though [whoever it was] told me not to think I’m better than other people, it was that person’s issue, not mine.

Even though [whoever it was] told me not to think I’m better than other people, I choose to express my talents and skills to the maximum.

Even though [whoever it was] told me not to think I’m better than other people, I choose to express my personal genius.

Even though [whoever it was] told me not to think I’m better than other people, I choose to know that I have marvelous skills and abilities.

Even though [whoever it was] told me not to think I’m better than other people, I am “better” at some things.

The beauty of EFT is that it’s a superb tool for helping you uncover limiting beliefs that you’re not even aware of. You can erase limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering ones of your choosing. EFT gives you the power to change your life.