Do you ever feel intimidated?
Even if the other person isn’t meaning to, isn’t doing anything to dominate or judge, we can sometimes feel intimidated and overwhelmed.
It may be that the person in question is just a strong personality, or they may remind you of someone who bullied you as a child. Either way, the primitive part of our brain can be overwhelmed whenever you’re around that person. You may find yourself reacting in ways you don’t mean to.
Some people will become super agreeable, even if they don’t actually feel good about the decisions being made… being sugary nice and hoping the person who intimidates them will give them approval and help them feel safe. This pretending and denying of our own feelings and needs can feel horrible, and it doesn’t usually get us what we want.
Some people become really quiet… rather like a rabbit hiding in the bushes and freezing. They find themselves unable to express themselves or their needs. Silent and shy, they are swept along with the opinions and wants of others. Resentment can build and anger can stew. Not great for our health, relationships, or emotional well-being!
Others become more aggressive… fighting to hold their space and their power, even if the person who intimidates them isn’t actually fighting back. This can make us look rather dorky or kind of out of control! (We know, we’ve been in all these situations).
EFT Tapping on the feelings can give you a calm, grounded place to stand. You may find that the other person is a lot of fun… and you can relax. Or they may be a general ass who you want to avoid as much as possible! It doesn’t matter what you discover as long as you have the freedom and choice on how YOU act and how YOU live your life.
Karate Chop: Even though she intimidates me and I feel scared and shutdown, I am safe and I am willing to look at this fear and work through it.
Even though I find myself reacting strangely when I’m around her, I’m curious what that’s about and what I can learn about me. I get to support myself and set clear boundaries, no matter what she says, and I’m open to our interaction going surprisingly smoothly.
Even though I have trouble keeping my balance around her, I’m open to finding a new balance and connecting with myself and my power.
Top of the Head: I am scared of how she’ll react.
Eyebrow: I’m prejudging myself to try to protect me.
Side of the Eye: That isn’t helping at all!
Under the Eye: I feel scared…
Under the Nose: And overwhelmed.
Chin: And she hasn’t even said anything yet!
Collarbone: I want to feel safe.
Under the Arm: I want to know it will be ok.
Top of the Head: She does come on strong sometimes.
Eyebrow: And I’m an adult now…
Side of the Eye: Not a little kid.
Under the Eye: I’m afraid of being scolded.
Under the Nose: I hate being judged.
Chin: But I’m not even giving her a chance.
Collarbone: I’m not giving ME a chance!
Under the Arm: What if I put aside my old stories?
Top of the Head: What connection could I be open to?
Eyebrow: What if she’s just as uncomfortable as I am?
Side of the Eye: Sometimes people come on strong when they’re scared.
Under the Eye: How can I help us both feel safe?
Under the Nose: How can I be there for ME?
Chin: I’m open to new and delightful solutions.
Collarbone: I can set boundaries.
Under the Arm: I can take care of me.
Top of the Head: And be open to surprisingly fun outcomes.
Take a deep breath.
How do you feel now? What are you noticing in your body? Are there specific memories coming up of times you were judged and ridiculed? Times you were scolded and told you weren’t good enough? Write those down!
A bit of tapping on the feelings and memories and you may find yourself being surprisingly calm and confident in the face of the worst bully or the next controlling and overwhelmed person who steps on your toes.
Imagine how much easier it would be to move in the world without the fear and constant vigilance! How much more energy would you have to create beauty and love in the world without the intimidation? A little tapping can change your path in the world in amazing ways, and give you ease and power you never dreamed of!
Cathy & Rick