A client writes: My question is about repressed memories. After a body work session a year or so ago, I had a physical release of what was obviously a childhood rape situation. I felt safe enough thanks to increased inner guidance while my body unwound this drama. There was relatively a small amount of emotional release with this and it felt as though it were happening to someone else. Anyway, the guidance eventually filled me in on the who, what, when and where. I’ve tried to just let it be and go into anything that comes up. I’ve tapped… Still, it feels disconnected from me since I don’t have any “memories” in the traditional sense. It is pretty easy to see how patterns, obsessions and much lifetime craziness have played out regardless.
I guess my question is about healing this kind of issue. So many of our wounds occur before we have the ability to put them into any understandable context. This one feels like the original event is elusive, yet if true, quite powerful at running an ongoing self destructive pattern.
You say “it feels disconnected from me.” After the energy of a situation has been harmonized, there is a feeling of detachment. As we saw on the EFT Course DVD with Gary Craig and the Vietnam Veterans, once a traumatic incident is dealt with energetically, it may seen boring, or grey, or distant. That would be normal.
However, as Gary and I both agree, it is useful to test, test, test to make sure that the energy has indeed been balanced. One way to do that is to have your inner guidance “make up the story.” You could either work individually with an EFT coach, or try my modified version of the Tell-the-Story technique. Since the emotions might still be intense, and we want this to go smoothly for you and with as little emotional pain as possible, here is what you could try:
- Take out a piece of paper and write a title for your story across the top.
- Before you write anything else, check your body for any tension or other sensations that indicate stress.
- TAP using EFT on those sensations until they are below a 2 or you have done 5 rounds. If they remain above a 5 in intensity, I would recommend getting support before continuing.
- Next, start the story at a “safe” place.
- Write ONE sentence. If it is a childhood story, you might start it “Once upon a time, a long, long, time ago…” It is okay to make up the parts. We’re looking for emotional disruptions, not necessarily historical “truth.”
- Read it aloud. Notice how you feel and tap on any emotions or sensations that are above a 2 in intensity on a scale of 0-10.
- Write another SINGLE sentence continuing the story.
- Read it aloud. Again, tap on any emotions of sensations that are above a 2.
- Continue this process one sentence at a time. You may or may not have to tap for every sentence.
- TAKE YOUR TIME!
- If at any time your emotions peak to above a 5 and you cannot make progress on your own, put the story away and take a walk. Tap while you walk and take slow, deep breaths.
- Once you get the emotion down to below a 2, go back and read the story from the beginning and see if the last sentence still holds any emotion. If it does, keep tapping and do not go further until you experience relief.
- Continue the writing of a single sentence, reading it aloud, and tapping until the story is complete.
- If you are feeling peaceful, read the story once again aloud with emphasis and as much emotion as you can force into it. STOP IMMEDIATELY if you feel anything above a 2, and tap on that specific emotion and body sensation.
- If that emphatic reading fails to elicit any negative emotional reaction, then close your eyes and try to make the story intense. Again, be gentle with yourself; stop and tap at the first sign of ANY discomfort!!
- When you are done, put the story away.
- Take it out again a few days later. Read it aloud and make sure it has no negative emotions left in it.
- When you are done, I encourage a ritual of either shredding it, burning it, burying it, or all three.
- Of course, your inner guidance should be honored if it wants to modify the above procedure in any way.