Grief and confusion about heartbreak can haunt us for decades. Whether our father abandoned us, our best friend from playschool found a new buddy, our 1st grade boyfriend or our husband of 10 or 30 years broke up with us, or someone we loved died, that loss can still resonate years later. And the pain and fear can get in the way of allowing fresh love in.
That old trauma can make current breakups more painful, too. Instead of just dealing with the heartache from what’s happening now, we’re bombarded with grief from all those times when… all those younger parts of us who experienced heartbreak join in and it feels like we might die we hurt so much.
It’s like we have a symphony of pain playing whenever we think of losing someone we love.
By tapping and releasing the old heart pain of being left, you can find new freedom. Instead of trying to protect yourself from being hurt at all costs, either by clinging and giving up your sense of self… or by running away… you can make reasonable decisions based on what feels right to your heart and head.
Feel free to change the pronouns or any of the words to fit what you’re feeling.
Even though he left me and that hurt A LOT, I’m open to releasing this pain and realizing that he was just one person. I’m open to attracting new people into my life who love and respect me.
Even though he left, and I still have that wound, I choose to let it heal. I’ve already started — I’m tapping right now. I’m open to receiving and giving love in a new way.
Top of the Head: He left me.
Eyebrow: That’s the truth.
Side of the Eye: It really hurt.
Under the Eye: It still hurts!
Under the Nose: I’m tired of this pain.
Chin: I’m tired of not trusting anyone.
Collarbone: Including myself.
Under the Arm: I’m open to seeing this a new way.
Top of the Head: He hurt me.
Eyebrow: I send comfort to that younger self.
Side of the Eye: She was so lost…
Under the Eye: And confused.
Under the Nose: But she isn’t alone anymore.
Chin: I can help her.
Collarbone: In fact, I’m doing that right now.
Under the Arm: And it feels pretty good!
Top of the Head: He left me.
Eyebrow: And I’m ok.
Side of the Eye: I still hurt…
Under the Eye: But I’m healing.
Under the Nose: I thought everyone was like him.
Chin: What if they’re not?
Collarbone: I ask the universe to help me notice people who love me…
Under the Arm: Just as I am.
Top of the Head: I’m even open to loving me a little more right now.
Take a deep breath.
How does that feel? Could you imaging comforting that confused and lost younger self?
What would you do for a friend who lost someone important to them? Wrap her in a blanket? Give her some tissues and a hug? Listen when she cried? Give her a warm cup of tea? Tell her the you love her?
Tapping on these old hurts can change the patterns we thought where permanent. And we don’t have to shift them all right this minute. Even a small change (from a 10 to a 9.8 intensity) can allow new insights and possibilities.
If you want to heal your heartbreak, our Group Coaching Program is a warm and loving place to release old pains and find new connection.