$9.95 (Audio MP3)
Give your heart some sweet relief around the negative emotions of Valentine’s Day… especially if this day makes you feel “less than loved.” (This recording is useful year-round for relationship and love pain.)
A lot of people feel depressed or stressed around Valentine’s Day. Whether they are in a relationship or not, the focus on “love” often creates anxiety, fear, and feelings of lack and unworthiness. We explore some of the reasons for the pain and offer EFT energy tapping to bring relief and enhance the heart connection with ourselves and friends and lovers.
As an example of where this pain starts, consider this: There is a Hallmark commercial on TV showing some 10-year-old girls eating lunch at school. They are showing each other what their moms gave them for Valentine’s Day. One girl’s mom sent an apple with heart shaped stickers. Another’s cut her sandwich in a heart. The third has a Hannah Montana Valentine’s card with a personal recording from her mother. She opens it… and looks superior and pitying as it plays. Everyone in the lunch room turns and looks at her… jealous. The message: She is better, more loved, more valuable to her mom than I am to mine. Pout! Hurt!
In elementary school some kids bring in Valentines for everyone in the class, but some just give them to select friends. The people who get the most are often envied by the rest who may be left wondering… “What is wrong with me?” “Aren’t I nice enough, pretty enough, fun enough to get Valentines?”
As an adult, there is often a deep pain around Valentine’s Day. According to call co-host Cathy Vartuli:
For females, it seems to be generally centered on our value as women, our feminitiy. A desirable, lovable, sexy female would have flowers and/or chocolate sent to her on Valentine’s Day. She would have someone who loved her taking her out for dinner and dancing. Many females feel the constant societal pressure to have a partner everyday, even if we know it isn’t necessary to have a partner to be happy. On Valentine’s Day, it is HUGE. It’s like the whole world is measuring our status. Kind of like getting an annual physical… You know if you’re not eating really well all year, but when the doctor sits you down in the paper gown and tells you your cholestorol is too high and you’re overweight, it brings it home. On Valentines Day, unpartnered women are told with every advertisement and every candy display they walk past, “You are not loved” “You are not sexy” “You are not popular” “You are not desireable as a female!!!” That hurts!
Even women in relationships find this day stressful. We don’t always let ourselves enjoy the love and presents we receive. Some of us wonder instead, “Does he really love me?”, “Did he give me enough to prove it?”, “Is it more than my friends got?”, ”Is it enough to show my value and to make up for all the years I didn’t get anything?”, ”Will I have it next year?”. And on Love Days, like Valentine’s and New Year’s, we look more closely at our relationships and notice any gaps between what we have and what we want. Those gaps can be painful, especially if we don’t see a way to move forward.
According to co-host Rick Wilkes:
Men often experience Valentine’s Day with a certain nervous apprehension or even dread depending on the current state of the relationship. Men wonder… “Will this be special enough to really PLEASE her… or at least keep me out of trouble?” “Will she let my love in this time?” “How will what I do (or don’t do) compare to what her friends get?” Performance anxiety! We really want to WIN! But if we’ve goofed before, we’ll feel it now. (And I suggest tapping on those memories…) While men may try to ignore feelings of loneliness if they don’t have a date, they are very aware of whether there will be a happy lover headed to bed with them that night… or NOT.
So how to we bring relief to these feelings? By acknowledging them and tapping on them using EFT. Listen and tap along to get the exhausting competition out of “love.” Start feeling your deeper self worth, measured not by candy and roses. Activate the vibrancy in your own heart so you can be your own truest lover. And if you are with a partner, tap along so you can become more open to the heart connection between you, to the flow of giving and receiving that which is truly a YES!
$9.95 (Audio MP3)
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