Rick Wilkes

Without you we are but dust

2006-05-14T11:19:00-08:00

A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer. “Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “without you we are but dust…”

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening carefully for a change!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mom, what is butt dust?”

Perfect Daughter

2006-03-02T15:50:03-08:00

The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long
and difficult labor. But it was definitely worth it when our
beautiful little girl emerged, perfect in every way. Later,
in my room, my husband looked at her tenderly, with tears in
his eyes. Then as he glanced up at me, I expected him to utter
something truly poetic. Instead he asked, “What’d we decide
to call her again?”

I have to sleep in Daddy’s room

2006-02-02T03:44:20-08:00

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the
light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will
you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled. “I can’t dear,” she said. ‘I have to sleep
in Daddy’s room.”

The little boy replied with a shaking voice, “The big sissy.”

I never want to live in a vegetative state

2006-01-31T18:04:52-08:00

My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative
state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of my beer!

Authentic Irish Toast

2006-01-20T07:47:15-08:00

A guy and a girl are having a drink together in a bar. The
man raises his glass and says, “Here’s hoping you’re in
Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead!”

“What’s that mean?” asks the girl.

“That,” answers her date, “is an authentic Irish toast.”

“Oh. Well, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon.”

“Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What’s that?”

The girl says, “That’s French toast.”

Who You Are

2006-01-12T04:44:54-08:00

I know of your anger
Yet I will not participate
Your tears I can share
But do not commiserate

I know the darkness of fear
Is only the absent of light
I know it’s your soul, not your eyes
That brings you true sight

I know in times of despair
It seems I am so very far
But I am not, I am with you
I just know “Who You Are”

-John Alexander

Inspirational Quotes

2006-01-10T10:24:53-08:00

I love inspirational quotes. You can find my collection at Thriving Quotes. Here are some other options you might also enjoy.

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How come you are not married, John?

2006-01-04T11:04:13-08:00

Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John,
“How come you aren’t married?”

John: “I haven’t found the right woman yet.”

George: “So what are you looking for?”

John: “Oh she’s got to be real pretty, - a good cook and
house keeper, she’s got to know how to handle money, have
a nice and pleasant personality—and money, she’s got to
have money, and a nice big house wouldn’t hurt either.”

George: “A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!”

John: “Oh, it’s okay, if she is crazy.”

Who Was Jesus REALLY…

2006-01-04T07:11:37-08:00

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother .
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until He was 33.
3. He was sure His mother was a virgin and His mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian

1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

AMEN

Big computer shows

2005-12-28T05:35:00-08:00

Each year, several giant computer expos at New York City’s
Jacob K. Javits Convention Center attract mobs of people.
I ran into a friend the day after she had gone to one, and
asked her about it.

“By the time I got there,” she said, “it was so crowded you
couldn’t get a nerd in edgewise.”