Pushing Kids Hard in Sports

With more kids than ever in organized sports, experts in sports medicine and youth athletics say they are increasingly concerned about the pressures put on young children to excel at sports. “Most children would rather play on a losing team than sit on the bench of a winning team,” says youth fitness researcher Avery Faigenbaum, an associate professor of exercise science at the University of Massachusetts in Boston.
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Parents do not all have the same perspective when it comes to their kids playing sports. Some see it, even from the age of 5, as an opportunity for their naturally talented youngster to get a college scholarship. Others see it as character building, a way for Little Jimmy to learn to compete and WIN WIN WIN. Some parents yell at the kids, yell at the umpires, and even brawl with other parents. Even the good sports can push their children to become pre-professionals in attitude and approach to the sport.

When we put a lot of our sweat, heart, and soul into ANY activity, when the drive to excel comes from deep within us, it becomes self-sustaining. The energy we GET from the activity fuels us. What this article points out, however, is that EXTERNAL driving force whether from a coach, or parents, or peers can “suck the fun out” of any activity. It’s a bit like reading a book because some teacher assigned it as homework and reading the same book because it was our own choice.

When I was growing up, it was not possible (I was told) for me to play organized sports because I spent every other weekend at my Dad’s house. I do want my children to have the opportunity to do things I did not, such as learn the piano and play sports. What has been interesting to observe, however, is that they--like Avery says above--have had a BLAST even in seasons where they have not won a single game! Indeed one un-feated season we asked the kids whether they would have rather played in this team that didn’t win, where they got to play all the time, or played on the champion team where because of their younger age they would have ridden the bench most of the time. No question in their minds, they would rather play than just “be a winner.”

And no, this is not a character defect. Both kids have gone on to be on other winning teams and losing teams. They PREFER to win, but they would prefer to have fun and play personally well than “just win.”

Another observation is that, given the choice of whether to specialize in one sport in which they excel, or play multiple sports and even new sports in which they have no experience, they have consistently chosen a variety of activities over specialization. I have no doubt that some children are born with a burning desire to master soccer or piano or tennis. I also don’t believe for a minute that most kids are so focused naturally. There is SO much to learn from different coaches and different sports. Basketball’s conditioning is outstanding and supports playing soccer well. Baseball’s eye-hand coordination compliments art and piano.

We’re raising the bar in sports so that only the exceptionally gifted kids will get playing time and an opportunity to experience sports. That may be what produces the most skilled college and professional athletes, where money and entertainment rule. What gets lost in that focus is balance, breadth of experience, and acceptance that “not perfect” is not just okay--it can be a LOT of fun.