I Don’t Deserve to Get What I Want
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We sometimes know very clearly what we want (our goal), see other people getting it, and we're NOT. Why??? In this audio recording we address the limiting beliefs around deserving... deserving health, wealth, happiness.
Deserve: to be worthy, fit, or suitable for some reward.
Want: to desire; wish or long for.
I don't deserve to get what I want.
I am not worthy of what I desire.
I am not fit to have what I wish for.
Even if there is abundance in many areas of our lives, most of us have some aspect in our lives that just doesn’t flow.
- Whether it is losing weight,
- finding a romantic partner,
- healing a part of our body, or
- improving our finances...
...We have tried and tried, and not shifted it.
Incredibly frustrating! Sometimes we think we must not deserve it.
Why do people believe that?
- They haven’t ever gotten it -- isn’t that proof?
- They feel they haven’t earned it.
- They are convinced they will lose something else if they get it.
- They were told they were selfish or spoiled.
- They feel guilty.
Where did you learn that you didn’t deserve whatever your goal is?
- Is it around this current experience?
- Did you learn it as a child?
- Did your parents or teachers show you this limiting belief?
Who or what showed you that you were unworthy of what you want?
- Does it feel safe to have it?
- If you imagine having your goal, not the daydreams, but in real life, does it feel safe?
- What fears come up?
Most goals are blocked by 1) fears and/or 2) limiting beliefs.
For example, for weight loss, some fears might be:
- Men might like me... and then what?!?!
- I won’t have the excuse of being too heavy/tired to avoid physical activities.
- What if nothing is better?
Some limiting beliefs might be:
- My sister will be jealous and I can’t hurt her.
- People won’t take me as serious intellectually
- It’s really hard to lose weight, maybe I’m not strong enough.
We sometimes know very clearly what we want, we see other people getting it, and yet, we don’t.
- WHY!?!?!
- What is WRONG with ME?
- Feelings of hurt and jealousy are often involved.
It would generally not be as painful if no one else got it either.
- For instance, it would be really cool to be able to walk on water.
- To cross rivers and streams without getting our feet wet, to park in a puddle and not have wet feet all day at work.
- As we imagine it, it feels kind of fun, but I suspect there is not a tearing pain because we can’t.
- Rate the intensity of the pain from 0-10.
Now imagine that LOTS of people can walk on water.
- In fact, it is considered “normal”.
- Those who can’t are viewed with pity, and sometimes scorn.
- And you can’t do it. You have tried.
- You took classes, you’ve been to doctors, you’ve read everything you could find on the subject, and you practiced and practiced.
- And you still can’t walk on water.
- Notice the heaviness in your body?
- Imagine needing to park your car, and the only place is in the middle of a deep puddle.
- Everyone else you see is getting out and strolling across the water happy as can be.
- And you know when you get out, you’ll sink with a large splash!
- Everyone will see you walking through the water, shoes sopping wet.
- Now notice how intense the pain might be when you think about not being able to walk on water…
A lot of suffering comes from comparing ourselves to others.
- And typically, over-acheivers that we are, we compare ourselves to outstanding individuals.
- If we view ourselves as overweight, and look around to see how we “should” be, we don’t look at the average person.
- We tend to look at the size 2 athlete.
- If we are in pain, we look around and compare ourselves to the thriving, yoga instructor.
- That is not to say we can’t reach for that or acheive whatever goals we might want, but that view point is more often used to show ourselves how “wrong” we are, rather than to inspire ourselves.
It might be hard to imagine, and you may feel some resistance, but it’s worth a try...(and why is there resistance??)
- Imagine that how you are (whatever your “block” is, pain, weight, confidence, money), is normal, expected and the goal.
- If you are in pain, think of a place where everyone is in that level of pain.
- It is normal. People function as best they can, accepting the pain as it is.
- Does some of the suffering go away?
- If everyone were 40lbs above their “ideal” weight, and that was considered attractive, would the 40lbs extra you carry be as heavy?
- It might feel good! You might feel sexy and more energetic...
You might let yourself love you a little more?!
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i loved this call found it very powerfull