2010-01 Team Call Recordings

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Team Call 2010-01-04 Open Call
- Anxiety and panic over last couple of weeks
- More alone than normal
- Not safe to trust anyone
- Could be taken away at any moment
- Unemployed for a year... focus on ways jobs DON'T fit
- Attributes of my perfect job for NOW... and what that job can expect from me
- Feeling overwhelmed... sensitive
- Shock from husband's cancer journey
- Happy Birthday!

Team Call 2010-01-07 Open Call
- Dread of doing the social thing
- Don't want to ride the roller coaster with my son
- What will I do if it doesn't work?
- Not connecting well with people

Team Call 2010-01-09 Procrastination
- Fear/Deserving/Identity
- Boundaries
- Inner Guidance
- Old Associations
- Ripeness and Babysteps
- Not speaking up for self
- They'll just as for more, and I'll have to do it over again anyway

Team Call 2010-01-10 Body Image Study Group
- I'm doomed to bad health
- I assume I'll be fat
- If I'm powerful, I'll be alone
- Ashamed of my body

Team Call 2010-01-10 Open Call
- It's not safe to be me
- Am I a good employee?
- Car accident yesterday
- Adjusting to all these good changes
- Feeling safe around relationships

Team Call 2010-01-12 Open Call
- I don't listen "right"
- I don't want to screw this up
- Anxious about feeling good
- Want to feel more in charge
- Carrying too much

Team Call 2010-01-14 I Just Don't Want To Feel This
- Intense feelings can be overwhelming and scary
- Many of us don't have good coping skills for "negative" emotions, especially when they are intense
- Just being with it, and accepting ourselves can be powerful. Sometimes challenging
- If you are having trouble, what judgement or thoughts are underlying this?
        - This is too hard
        - I may not survive
        - I shouldn't be feeling this
        - This isn't normal
        - This is my fault
        - Good people don't feel this
        - It isn't safe to feel this way
        - It isn't fair! I don't deserve this
        - I must be bad if I'm feeling this
- When we get the self-judgements and blame out of the way, some of the intensity may go away, or at least it won't  be as stuck in our bodies.
- We can also take baby steps. We don't have to "process" it ALL right now. We can take breaks. Tap on one aspect of the issue or feeling.
- And we can ask for help so we don't feel alone

Team Call 2010-01-16 Boundaries: Yours, Mine, and Ours
- A lot of us never learned boundaries growing up. Even if we did, managing them with ease and grace is not always natural. We help you define what is yours to decide on and show you ways to stand up for that. And we delve into some of the grey areas that occur when we interact closely with someone at work or socially.
- Boundary: the line or plane indicating the limit or extent of something
- A boundary is a line or limit between you and other people.
- I get to decide what is right for me, what I feel, and how I will direct my energy.
- I don't get to tell other people what to do or how to do it or what to feel. That would be "controlling". I do get to say "If you do this, I will not be part of your experience."
- There is a grey area in most people's relationships though. When we collaborate or have joint projects. There is an "our" aspect to some decisions.
- Very helpful to know what is mine, yours and ours.
- Different kinds of boundaries:
      Rigid (Russia during the cold war)
      Very soft (giving in to strong requests even if they are a no)
      Strong and flexible (able to limit when it is important, and allow in when it is a yes).
- When people are learning boundaries, sometimes they will go from not being able to say no, to having a very firm and fixed no. That's ok- step in the right direction!
- “What can I say YES to today, relating to other people?”
- Finding it very hard to have boundaries with people in authority.
- Leaky boundaries, set them and them lose them.
- Having a stronger sense of self in relation to others, so that I do not care or worry as much what others think about me
- My physical and emotional boundaries were violated as a child, I now tend to be rigid about protecting them.

Team Call 2010-01-17 Financial Abundance Study Group
- I want to feel supported, too!
- More confidence at work
- Can I allow more abundance?
- Charging more for my service. Is this money really mine?
- Clarity about lending money

Team Call 2010-01-20 Guilt and Shame
- Is It REALLY Okay to Let Go of These Feelings? - When we feel guilty and shameful, releasing feelings of sadness, anger and pain has an added component. We often believe at SOME level that we deserve those feelings. Once we know that it’s ok to let them go, we can process these emotions without resistance, and move to a more connected state of being.
- Who did you learn guilt and shame from? How did they “teach” that to you? (attitude, words, punishment)?
- Even though I don't know how to let this go...
- Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that they have violated a moral standard, and is responsible for that violation. One experiences conflict at having done something that one believes one should not have done (or conversely, having not done something one believes one should have done).
- Shame results from embarrassment, dishonor, disgrace, inadequacy, humiliation, or chagrin.
- Basically, guilt is "I did something bad" and shame is "I am bad". Shame and Guilt are often used (sometimes inadvertantly) to control. If we feel bad or conflicted, we are less certain of our worth, and more likely to be influenced from outside forces.

Team Call 2010-01-22
- Layer of fear around having a second child
- Hungover and sad... I miss the way we ran the group together
- "I'm going to get in trouble."

Team Call 2010-01-24 Body Image Study Group
- Craving for emotional freedom
- Critic coming up about "my looks"
- I can't stand my own voice
- I thought I was fat at 15!
- I buried my self-esteem issues in my gut
- I refuse to exercise while I am still grieving
- I feel confident. (1 = NOT!)

Team Call 2010-01-26
- Rules about food and relaxing
- Being misunderstood
- The upside of success
- The sound of my voice
- Embarrassment about an old job

Team Call 2010-01-30
- Dissapointment in relationship
- Painful experience with ex
- Standing up for myself
- Unsafe in childhood home
- Intense pain

Team Call 2010-01-31 Thriving Business Q&A
- Success is for other people, not me!
- Want more freedom from schedules and judgements
- It has to be really hard to be successful
- I should be more focused!

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