We enjoy life and function better when we feel safer. No matter what you are doing… from enjoying a BBQ with friends, weeding the flowerbeds, taking a walk, or doing spring cleaning… you will feel more present and focused if you feel safe. When we feel even “a bit” threatened or nervous, there is a constant underlying tension and worry. Part of our attention is always focused on the threat. Yet for many of us, we don’t even know what the danger is! We just feel unsafe.
How much energy does that feeling of unsafety sap from your life each day? It can make you feel overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of each day… like you can’t wait to get away from people, hide in your house, and reach for whatever makes you feel safer. (A lot of addictions are forms of self-soothing.)
Imagine how much easier it would be to not eat that extra cookie, drink that extra beer or glass of wine, smoke that cigarette, or watch that additional TV show, if you didn’t feel tired and worn out? …If you didn’t need something to comfort yourself with?
What if you could feel safer, without changing anything but your perceptions?
Look around your space right now. Are there any tigers? Lions? Bears? Really angry bosses or spouses? Is there any physical threat right here, right now? For most of us, probably not. Yet our bodies often are ready to fight or flee. Our primitive brain doesn’t know the difference between work pressure and mental anxieties, and physical threats. So it often causes our body to act as if we are either in the middle of a famine (where we need to struggle for sustenance, there is “lack” all around us, and we need to grab everything we can before it disappears) …or a fight for our lives.
Say out loud: “I feel safe.”
How true does it feel? How safe does your body feel from 0-10 (where 0 is not safe AT ALL and 10 is totally safe and peaceful)?
Are you grinding your teeth as we speak? Are your muscles tense and ready to bolt or fight, or are you calm and relaxed?
How would you like to feel? (It can be really helpful to spend a minute writing down your intention. It helps your body tune in and move toward that feeling).
Karate Chop: Even though I don’t feel completely safe right now, I ask my body and mind to notice that I am actually pretty safe.
Even though this anxious feeling takes so much energy, I am open to releasing this and finding more joy and delight in life.
Even though I feel this fear in my body all the time, I am willing to relax at least a little bit and really appreciate where I am right now.
Top of the Head: I feel scared!
Eyebrow: I don’t relax very well.
Side of the Eye: I don’t feel totally safe!
Under the Eye: Is it safe to relax?
Under the Nose: My body is tired of always being on guard.
Chin: What would happen if I relaxed?
Collarbone: Is that safe?
Under the Arm: This constant tension is draining me.
Top of the Head: I want to relax.
Eyebrow: What if I could let myself take a break?
Side of the Eye: Would it be POSSIBLE to feel just a little safer right now?
Under the Eye: I’ve held onto this fear for so long.
Under the Nose: Maybe it isn’t about what’s going on now.
Chin: What if this fear is about old stuff?
Collarbone: Am I safer than I let myself feel… right here right now?
Under the Arm: It sure would feel good to feel calm and safe.
Top of the Head: What if I could make a decision to feel safer?
Eyebrow: I would like to appreciate the times I do feel good.
Side of the Eye: I am actually safe most of the time.
Under the Eye: I think I’m ready to release these old patterns.
Under the Nose: I may have needed them in the past…
Chin: But they don’t serve me now.
Collarbone: I am in the process of learning to relax…
Under the Arm: And really enjoy life.
Top of the Head: That’s going to feel really good!
Take a deep breath. How does your body feel after doing that tapping? Do you feel more relaxed? Did you have some memories or thoughts come up about times you really weren’t safe? Write those down and tap on them!
And check out our Free Yourself from Inner Confusion and Fear: A Practical Guide to Emotional Clarity program. If you’re interested in exploring more of the reasons why you learned to be fearful, and techniques and exercises to help you release this pattern, we’ve already done most of the work! One of the sections in our Free Yourself program focuses on ways you can develop and build a sense of safety. Until we are safe, our brains and bodies spend a tremendous amount of energy trying to identify and protect us from danger. Once we are safe (and we know it!), all that energy and focus can go into creating what we want and enjoying our lives. Plus we are much more effective and productive when we are in a calm, grounded space. To learn more: http://www.thrivingnow.com/free-yourself