Why is clearing trauma so important and so beneficial in this day and age?

It can fundamentally change how we look at the world and how much possibility we can create!

Think about a time 10,000 years ago. If you broke your leg back then, you might have fashioned a split out of a couple of tree limbs and some leather. But from that point on, didn’t you just have to cope? There were no X-rays or surgeons, no plaster casts or titanium pins. Your leg might hurt, it might heal badly and make it hard to move, but you didn’t have much choice…

Your choice was either to cope or be leopard food. And so, the humans that survived to procreate developed coping mechanisms. We CAN just “get by.”

Unless you actively choose to see things from a new perspective, you will be subconsciously stuck in that survival mode… even if there IS a healing option available right at your fingertips!

Let’s say we lived in a world where—if you got a rock in your shoe—that was it, you could NOT get it out. It’s hopeless. The rock was something you’d have to live with forever. What would friends and family say to you about this new pain of yours?

“Well, you just gotta do what you gotta do.”

“You just gotta learn to make the best of it.”

“Stop whining and tough it out!”

And so you’d cope, right?

You’d start by trying to keep the weight off of it, trying to walk in a way that caused the least pain. Your body and mind would do everything they could to adapt to that rock. Ouch. After a month or two, you’d have disconnected from your foot, wouldn’t you? And hate that part of you…

“Well, I’ve got one foot still. I can just kind of hobble around…”

Your gait would change to minimize the pain. Now what’s going to happen to your hip? It’s going to cope, right? It’s going to start adapting. Your back’s going to change. Your whole spinal adjustment may change. And pretty soon, you’re still making it… despite that rock in your foot. And if there was nothing else that we could do…well, that’s the best that you could do, right?

Luckily, we live in a world where you CAN take rocks out of your shoes. And we have marvelous technologies that let us do much more than cope with even serious issues.

We live in a day now where someone who loses their lower leg on one side, but is an athlete, a sprinter, a runner… they may seriously looks at whether they should have their other leg amputated so that they can use amazing new technologies that allow them to sprint even faster than most humans.

We’ve entered a period of medical technology where if you have broken your leg and it was set wrong and is now three inches shorter, they would look at re-breaking the leg in order for you to be set right.

Old, Unhealed Trauma Can Be Set Right Now, Too

And now, we’re looking at trauma as something that can be dealt with in the same way… that can be INTERNALLY SET RIGHT even decades later. But culturally, when I grew up, if something bad happened… the spiritual answer, the most divine answer about what to do if someone did you wrong was…

Forgive and forget. With a heavy emphasis on the forget part! If you can’t forgive, at least forget. And stop whining about it! (That was the best they had to offer.)

Suppressing unhealed traumas is a great coping mechanism… but ONLY if you can’t do anything better about it.

There’s still something actively going on inside of you around undischarged trauma… they are like rocks in your shoes. 

Now, with tapping and our understanding of trauma, we can clear out the “old rocks from our shoes.” Or, we can live in denial and wonder why we limp through life.

We’ve seen amazing changes in people’s lives once they start releasing old traumas. The freedom and choice they discover is beautiful to see. This is why we’ve put so much time and love into creating our Trauma Relief products.

Trauma Relief Workshop
If you use EFT with others, and you’d like to deeply understand how tapping plays a key role in gently and quickly supporting the trauma healing process, we HIGHLY recommend this pre-recorded workshop with a helpful transcript and handbook. If you have trauma of your own, this can help you clear and release in profound ways. http://www.thrivingnow.com/tn-trworkshop

Childhood Trauma Relief Starter Set
For those who want an in-depth but shorter overview of childhood trauma, how it effects the body and mind, and effective ways to transform those old “rocks”, this package will guide you through the process and give you examples. http://www.thrivingnow.com/pkg-cctrauma1/

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EFT Tapping is one of the most powerful tools you can have at your fingertips. It can help your primitive brain release old beliefs… so you finally see a path you can follow to getting what you’ve always wanted… with less painful limping and a lot more grace.

Thanking the parts of you that coped for all that time can help the release go easier, as well. It’s easy to blame the parts of us that didn’t take the rocks out our shoes earlier… yet they were doing the best they knew how with what they knew then.

Karate Chop: Even though things were tough, I did learn to cope, and I’m grateful I had that skill. I thank the parts of me that did their best, and I let them know they can relax now.

Even though coping was the best I could do back then, I have new options now. I invite my system to see these new possibilities… and to help me pull the rocks out of my shoes.

Even though there is trauma stuck inside, I’m learning new ways of releasing, and I look forward to moving forward easily and with freedom!

Top of the Head: I learned to cope.
Eyebrow: I tuned out and ignored the parts of me that hurt.
Side of the Eye: I had to… in order to get by.
Under the Eye: It was the best I could do.
Under the Nose: And now I’m not even sure where all the rocks are.
Chin: I’m so used to these coping mechanisms.
Collarbone: I think it’s how life is.
Under the Arm: It’s been this way for so long.

Top of the Head: What if I could get help?
Eyebrow: What if I could tap along and get reminded of my “rocks”?
Side of the Eye: I can learn what effects other people…
Under the Eye: And get ideas for me and my tribe.
Under the Nose: I can learn new techniques for removing rocks.
Chin: I can regain my freedom and my clarity.
Collarbone: I am tired of limping.
Under the Arm: I want all of my power back!

Top of the Head: I was stuck for a long time.
Eyebrow: I love how resilient I am becoming.
Side of the Eye: I can take the best from everything I learn…
Under the Eye: And create a toolbox…
Under the Nose: Custom fit for me.
Chin: I’m glad I have the ability to cope.
Collarbone: And I’m ready for some new techniques and approaches.
Under the Arm: I remove the rocks from my shoes…
Top of the Head: And step forward with new confidence and ease!

Take a deep breath.

When you clear old traumas from your body-mind, you are literally transforming your emotional world. When you do, you’re not only taking the rocks out of your shoes, you are changing your emotional weather, smoothing out the bumps, and activating energies within you that were shut down as part of coping. This absolutely helps you live, laugh, and love with confidence.

A group of us meet through the telephone and internet to do just this. If you’d like to have a circle of support in your life (especially THIS season), we invite you to join us as part of the Thriving Now Team.

http://www.thrivingnow.com/team

You know you WANT connection, love, warmth, and laughter. But you’re not quite sure how to create it.

Embracing life and your loved ones is one of our basic needs. Most of us think we know how… yet we don’t have the fulfilled, loved feeling we want. We feel empty and anxious beneath the surface.

Most of us learned to hide inside a shell. It protected us when we were little. It saved us from judgment and shame and rejection. It was the best we knew how to do as children. But it’s not the best we can do NOW! That shell isolates us from connection now. It blocks our authentic being from shining through and attracting the very people we want to share our love with.

We can educate ourselves and take our connection and love to the next level. It doesn’t matter if you want to connect with friends, romantic partners, family, or find someone new… breaking out of your shell can bring a new level of vitality and deep warmth to your life.

Do you want another year to pass you by without the love and quiet connection you’ve been longing for?

Join us for 3 recorded calls (with additional bonuses) on Breaking Out of Your Shell, where we address strategies, tools, and new perspectives to let you break out and start a new way of engaging with people you love in a safe, empowered way. You can allow affection. You can feel safe, and you can start doing that now!

Because our mission is to help you connect and love more, we’re offering this series for only $37.

If you’re ready to create new connections and deepen the ones you have, listen to these powerful calls. Cathy Vartuli, Reid Mihalko, and Rick Wilkes guide you towards the love and warmth you want for your life.

People Are Talking About…
Breaking Out Of Your Shell

Wow ………….. I FINALLY got around to listening to call #1 of Breaking out of your shell. Thank you!!! I think I should listen more than once, and I can’t wait for the other calls, as well. The kicker is … I have been a personal growth junkie for 23 years!! and I still really needed this.

As I reemerge and am finally ready to shed my patterns of isolation and people rejecting me, this teleconference is exactly what I need. Thank you. –Laura

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I just took part in the “Breaking Out of Your Shell’ series and things are changing pretty fast! I feel so relaxed and peaceful when I’m around other people, a feeling I never had before! Everyone I meet looks sooo nice. I now attract people who are kind and loving. It still feels strange, but hey, I’m happy.

I feel love and appreciation for everyone I meet, even for the people I had conflicts with. Why bother if they don’t like me. I like myself, well that’s the most important thing.

I now have something they can never take away from me. My own truth, I’m worthy and valuable just like anyone else. I’m a light, I’m love, I’m good. Thank you! I feel so blessed!

My life is changing now. Negativity just leaves. And yes, new conflicts are coming up, now that I know how to stand up for myself, but I’m proud of myself and of my achievements. Life is getting better more and more every day. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re doing incredible work!! Many blessings, Tania, Belgium

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Wow this call hit on so many topics for me. I’m feeling peaceful now that I tapped a bunch and had some tea, but during i was so uncomfortable that I noticed I was hugging my knees to my chest with my hands clenched tight. Tap, tap, tap. My boyfriend teases me and calls it my egg position, so it’s kinda funny when Reid makes analogies about breaking out of your shell. It really is true!

I’m also a little overwhelmed but this is a good overwhelm (never thought I’d say that) because rejection WAS such a heavy, black, frozen topic for me. I can feel it melting and i can see a little light too. I’m still processing all the info but I wanted to say thank you so much for providing these calls. They mean a lot to me and this one especially answered so many of my questions and transformed a lot of walls into doors. Thanks so much, Gina

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I used to feel terrible, ashamed and guilty about everything I was feeling. I felt I was making everything up. Now I know that all my feelings DO exist, that there are reasons for them and that I have the right to feel them and honor them. That gives me a sense of peace with myself.

My life is changing so much and much more rapidly that I ever thought possible. –Dayan

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Breaking out of my shell seemed intriguing, but the title of the three recordings made me hesitate – they each triggered some anxiety in me. It turned out I had no reason to worry: I felt safe in the hands of Rick and Cathy and enjoyed the dynamic of Reid. I learned a lot on how to operationalize the different concepts, released some issues with the tapping and am still using the tools to break further out of my shell – enjoying the process at the same time! –Simone, Sweden

Here is an EFT Tapping to help you get started right now.

Karate Chop: Even though I’ve been feeling alone, and I didn’t know how to change that, I’m open to finding a new way of connecting and interacting with people.

Even though I thought I had to be pretty or handsome or strong or different somehow, what if I can connect with people just as I am?

Even though I thought I had to learn how to fake it, maybe I could just be me, and have people love me!

Top of the Head: I’ve been lonely.
Eyebrow: I thought there was something wrong with me.
Side of the Eye: I thought I had to be different.
Under the Eye: I thought if I looked better, they would want me.
Under the Nose: What if the right people have been wanting me all along?
Chin: And they just couldn’t see me behind my shell?
Collarbone: What if the warmth I long for is on the other side?
Under the Arm: What if it’s surprisingly simple!

Top of the Head: I just didn’t know how.
Eyebrow: No one taught me the skills.
Side of the Eye: They didn’t know how either!
Under the Eye: I’ve been hiding in my shell…
Under the Nose: From the very thing I’ve been longing for.
Chin: I want loving connection.
Collarbone: I want deep intimacy.
Under the Arm: And I didn’t know how to create it.

Top of the Head: I choose to venture out of my shell now.
Eyebrow: I choose to connect with people in new, powerful ways.
Side of the Eye: I get to have safe, healthy boundaries…
Under the Eye: But I don’t need to hide.
Under the Nose: I get to say no…
Chin: So I don’t have to pretend.
Collarbone: What if I can just be me…
Under the Arm: And get the love I long for?
Top of the Head: And share the love that is in my heart.

Take a deep breath.

It wasn’t safe for many of us to be vulnerable. We learned to protect ourselves. And yet that very protection may not be needed now AND may be blocking what we want most.

As children we didn’t have power. We often weren’t taught how to connect deeply and authentically. And we can put aside those old protective mechanisms that no longer work… and find new connection. You probably don’t walk around with a binkie or a pacifier anymore, but some of your “rules” are probably just as outdated.

Join us with these recordings as we teach you how to safely and gently put aside your childhood shields away so you can connect as a powerful, loving adult! Most of us learned to hide inside a shell. It protected us when we were little. It saved us from judgment and shame and rejection.

It was the best we knew how to do as children. But it’s not the best we can do NOW! And that shell protects and isolates us from connection now. It blocks our authentic being from shining through and attracting the very people we want to share with.

How can I trust God? I’m so mad and hurt by the things that have happened in my life, and recently I got some unexpected bad news. I heard one of you say that God can handle any of our emotions. But I’m afraid if I show God my anger, he’ll punish me.  – Andi

Note: Different people have different words for “all that is”. Some people call it Source, Universe, God, Higher Power…there are hundreds of names. Law of Attraction just assumes that there is something larger than ourselves, and that something is benevolent, loving, and kind. Feel free to change the word God to whatever works for you, and use he or she or it to refer to that power as you feel comfortable. Because Andi used “God”, that’s the word we’ll use in this article. We don’t think God cares what we call her/him/it, as long as we call…

God can handle whatever you feel. Including the bad stuff, including the blame and anger. Some of us grow up thinking we can hide our emotions and thoughts from God, and still have a connection- but its hard to feel open and trusting of anyone if we have “secrets.” And if God is all knowing, wouldn’t he/she already know you were angry?

We understand. It’s hard to trust God when so much has happened in your life. And if you’re feeling ungrateful, it’s really okay to say that and express it. We do feel awful sometimes. We are ungrateful sometimes. If we tap, we don’t have to stay there… but trying to force yourself out of that feeling before you’re ready doesn’t work really well. It just leaves us resentful and disconnected.

If it feels right, you can do some more tapping on this. We have been really honest with God about what we felt, including calling God lots of really bad names and sharing hatred and fury and resentment. Neither of us have been struck by lightening yet… and we felt calmer and more connected afterwards. (Cathy adds: I personally have used stronger words than are in this script, too. If cursing feels right, let God have it! While you tap, of course…) Feel free to change the words as you like.

Karate Chop: Hi God. I want you to know I HATE you… You BETRAYED me… You LET ME DOWN… I’ve been working so hard, trying to heal and feel more connected to you and you send me THIS?! How can I possibly trust you?!

You’re supposed to be so powerful, and you let this happen. What were you thinking?! I feel like you don’t love me and that crushes my heart. I am SO mad at you and I want to hurt you somehow.

Part of me is afraid to tell you this, but it is the truth. I want to trust you and feel loved by you, but this hurts too much. This is too big. I want to kick you in the shins. I want to pull your hair. I am afraid you’ll punish me for being angry…but I’m open to feeling your calm, loving, forgiving presence instead.

Top of the Head: I HATE you God.
Eyebrow: How could you let this happen?
Side of the Eye: Why would you allow this?
Under the Eye: I don’t understand.
Under the Nose: I try to be good.
Chin: I try to be loving.
Collarbone: And I’ve been working so hard.
Under the Arm: How can I trust you?

Top of the Head: I feel betrayed.
Eyebrow: I need to let this anger out.
Side of the Eye: I hope you’re strong enough to take it God.
Under the Eye: Cause here it comes!
Under the Nose: I HATE YOU.
Chin: You let me down!
Collarbone: I’m not sure how to trust you.
Under the Arm: Not after this!

Top of the Head: So much has happened.
Eyebrow: I’m not sure how to deal with this.
Side of the Eye: I could use your help with this anger.
Under the Eye: I could use some help with my fear.
Under the Nose: Even though I hate you…
Chin: Please help me.
Collarbone: Show me in LOTS of ways…
Under the Arm: That you love me deeply.
Top of the Head: And will help me through this.

Take a deep breath.

Does that help at all??

As scientists at heart, we like to base our beliefs at least SOMEWHAT on observation. We have not observed that anyone anywhere…no matter how holy or lovely or divine in their energy… is immune from: broken hearts, disease, cancer… you name it. Therefore, we cannot base OUR understanding of God on the notion that he is someone doling out favors and treats to the Good Boys and Girls… and punishing the others with disease. We see NO EVIDENCE of this.

We are not JUST physical Rick and Cathy. We have a non-physical reality, too. Call it spirit or soul, it is the Me, and the You, and the We that existed before we came into this earth world and will exist after and that has the eternal relationship with Source.

There may be places in this Universe where Souls go to have the Perfect Vacation… where fires only are used to roast marshmallows and keep us warm, where our arrivals and departures are always celebrated, where the food is always perfect and plentiful, the shoes always fit, and the friends are always true.

If there is such a Heaven, it is not this world. It is not this rock. It is not this vacation/incarnation.

We have friends whose idea of a great vacation is to rough it, to take only what they can carry on their back, to develop strength and endurance as they explore realms they have never seen before. We’d call them crazy… except…

It seems that life here on Earth for all of us is going to be a mix of deep intimacy and cold loneliness, of warm embraces and harsh breakups, of delicious foods savored with friends and… vomit. Who amongst us has not puked?

Loving God and trusting God seems to only come from knowing a broader truth, that Life is not begun and ended here, that on some deep level we are each an excited participant in a life here that challenges us… where our friends are challenged… where we cross new rivers and climb new mountains… even if we do so in pain and struggle and tears and shit. And at the end of THIS “vacation” we will most certainly have a story to tell. Just as we share our stories now.

We know that during the darkest times, when the noise gets stripped away, the God has guided us in making the “most” out of the precious time we get on this earth journey. By “most,” it doesn’t necessarily ever mean the most uninterrupted joy. It means sometimes moments of intimacy shared when sick, or when you hold someone’s hand because you would fall over if they were not there. The ONLY difference we can see between a cursed life and a Blessed Life is the perspective of the participant. And that, we do believe, we can always shift with God’s help.

Tapping while telling the truth of what you’re feeling RIGHT NOW, is powerful. And incredibly healing. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to speak the truth, or to even admit what it is. Having the support of a caring and insightful group of people can make all the difference. It can sooth your soul and  bring peace much quicker. If you are interested in finding community to share with, there are groups on many cities and towns. Meetup.com and Yahoo Groups can be great places to find connection. And our Group Coaching Program is our personal favorite place to share honestly in a place of warmth and understanding.

I have Celiac Disease. I’ve been avoiding foods that trigger the symptoms, but it’s challenging. Is there some tapping I can do to help improve how my body processes food? –Wendy

When we have a lot of stress because of past traumas or current overload, our bodies have less energy to digest and to process energies (including foods) that aren’t a perfect fit for us.

As you keep tapping on old traumas and make changes now to reduce your stress, you may find your body regaining its resiliency and not being overwhelmed by small things. In the mean time, it’s great that you’re trying to listen to what is easy for your body to digest. The more you can sooth and comfort, the easier your path can be. Reducing the overall stress on your body can make it easier to process the old traumas or find new ways to relax here and now.

You might try EFT tapping on something like this:

Karate Chop: Even though my body is reacting to so many foods, I thank it for all it’s done for me and all the stress it’s been holding. I let it know I’m listening now… and I’m going to help it rather than fight it.

Even though my stomach and intestines are distressed and overwhelmed, I send them comforting energy and appreciation. They’ve been trying to help me digest all this trauma and overwhelm. I’m tapping now to ease this process and allow my system to heal.

Even though certain foods don’t feel good right now, and that is limiting my eating, I thank my body for being so resilient and invite it to heal and reclaim its vitality.

Top of the Head: Sorry stomach and intestines.
Eyebrow: Those energies were hard to digest.
Side of the Eye: But we have tapping now.
Under the Eye: I’m sending you support…
Under the Nose: And love and appreciation.
Chin: Tapping is like digestive tablets…
Collarbone: For the soul.
Under the Arm: You don’t have to do it all alone anymore.

Top of the Head: It was a lot to process.
Eyebrow: No wonder you didn’t have a lot of energy to digest food.
Side of the Eye: I’m here with you now.
Under the Eye: We’re clearing things as we speak.
Under the Nose: It’s going to be better.
Chin: And I do appreciate all you’ve done.
Collarbone: I bet you’re tired…
Under the Arm: But it’s going to be easier from now on.

Top of the Head: I did dump a lot on you.
Eyebrow: I didn’t know what else to do.
Side of the Eye: But I can tap now.
Under the Eye: I can get help.
Under the Nose: We are lightening the load.
Chin: It’s ok for you to process food more easily…
Collarbone: And I’ll try to feed you things that feel good for both of us.
Under the Arm: Thank you for all you do.
Top of the Head: Thank you for healing and supporting me, too.

Take a deep breath.

How does that feel? Does your body like that?

What memories or thoughts came up? Those can be good clues for further tapping.

If your body feels stuck where you are, you may have some old emotions and energies you haven’t moved yet. Our Getting Unstuck audios can give you insights and help  you clear your stuck energies. Get yours today!

Transform Your Emotions with Energy Tapping (EFT)

We respect your privacy.

Free video presentation… see below!

If you want to target the root cause of fears, beliefs, and blocks, Inner Tapping can help. And it is a potent way to unfreeze old traumas still stuck in your energy system.

What is Inner Tapping? It is a technique that guides you back to the original memories and events that created a given mindset. It then releases the “frozen” aspects in the primitive brain and the body-mind. It’s sort of “surrogate tapping for your younger self.” By tapping on the younger you who experienced the event and offering compassion and understanding, new resources become available, and we find ourselves empowered and more free.

If you’re tired of hearing your mother’s nagging voice in your head, or your father’s disapproval every time you start a project, this can be your magic eraser. If part of you is terrified of public speaking because you subconsciously fear the laughter of your kindergarten classmates, and you would like to find relief from that tension, this is the fastest and most thorough way we know of to achieve that.

We invite you to watch the video…  If you cannot watch the video due to a slow internet connection, here is a PDF Document of the presentation and MP3 Audio File.

If you are interested in how the brain stores trauma so you can change the way you live your life, we recommend our free companion video: Trauma and the Primitive Brain.

Links in the presentation:
- Introduction to Energy Tapping (EFT)
- Grounding Exercises
- Trauma and the Primitive Brain Video
- Thriving Now Team – Group Coaching Program

Links to other resources:
- Dr. Robert Scaer
- Karl Dawson, Matrix Reimprinting
- Our Matrix Reimprinting Interview with Karl Dawson
- Shirley Jean Schmidt

Cathy and Rick’s skillful and tender use of Inner Tapping – tapping on one’s frozen, younger parts – is helping me find my way back to me, scene by scene, big T trauma by little t trauma. With their help, I’ve been picking up, warming and breathing new life into misplaced pieces of Paula. Seems those little rebels, who had been blocking me in areas of abundance and creative expression, had been crying out to be heard and healed. — Paula Graham

Transform Your Emotions with Energy Tapping (EFT)

We respect your privacy.

Free video presentation… see below!

Would you ask a 3-year-old what house to buy? Do you ask a 5-year-old who to date? If you have unresolved traumas from when you were 3- or 5-years-old, these frozen memories may have more impact on these adult decisions than you might think. You can find out what might be blocking you by watching this 14-minute video…

Most people think of “trauma” as nasty car accidents, muggings, child abuse, and war. But to a 3-year-old, Mommy suddenly “disappearing” because of a new job can be traumatic if the child feels rejected or abandoned.

Being ridiculed at Show-and-Tell can affect how we hold ourselves in public, sometimes for the rest of our lives… if we don’t release the frozen pain of that experience.

“Small” traumas can affect our self-worth, our sense of safety, how much love we allow in, and how abundant we feel.

Traumas change our vibration… often below the level of consciousness (and thus, by the Law of Attraction, they affect what we draw into our life.)

Why is that? What is going on and how do we change this?

We have put together a video sharing how big and little traumas are held in the body and mind, and how we can release them.

If you cannot watch the video due to a slow internet connection, here is a PDF Document of the presentation and a MP3 Audio File.

Next, let’s talk about how to use Inner Tapping to help. (Click link for the companion video.)

Links in the presentation:
- Introduction to Energy Tapping (EFT)
- Grounding Exercises
- Inner Tapping (companion video)
- Thriving Now Team – Group Coaching Program

In our last post, we answered a question about fears coming up as we step outside our comfort zones.

For most people, the internalized warnings, fears and limiting beliefs from childhood still strongly influence us here and now.

Some of those messages are valid and useful today:
- Look both ways before you cross the street.
- Don’t stick your finger in the light socket.
- Eating all your Halloween Candy in one sitting may be fun, but you may not feel good after.

But some of those messages don’t apply at ALL anymore. They were useful direction back then, but they can steer you wrong and hold you back now. The rules we learned are about a different time and place, and if we hold onto them, the internal conflicts will prevent you from creating what you want with ease and delight.

A common phrase kids hear is “Don’t talk to strangers.” But how many of us talk to “strangers” every day as part of our job and everyday life? If we followed this rule, it would be hard to be successful at work, make new friends, or even get the plumbing fixed!

When we decide to try something new, our brain will often bring up all of these old messages. This can create fear and uncertainty, and we may hesitate before taking the next step. If you know that the data is outdated, it can help you choose which messages to pay attention to (fingers in light sockets, for example), and which ones to thank and pass on by.

It may help to think of the messages from these fearful parts as  outdated weather reports.

At the time your brain “recorded” the message, it seemed true. There was a large tornado/hurricane/ice storm/blizzard heading toward you. It made sense to hide in the tornado shelter. But you did survive, and the tornado is passed.

You may have decided at 5 that it was safer and better to be really quiet and never ask for what you want. And that may have been a really smart coping mechanism in that place and time. But as an adult, not speaking up or sharing what feels good to you can hurt your marriage, your career, your friendships, and even your relationship with yourself.

Would you listen to a recording of last week’s (or last decade’s) weather report, no matter how dire it was, and feel panicked? Run for the tornado shelter? Probably not.

You can do the same for these old fear messages. You can look at them and decide if they fit for you or not NOW. (Because we tend to believe what we believe, this is a place where a coach or tapping buddy can make a big difference giving you clarity and support.) You can certainly acknowledge the wisdom that went into creating the rule in the first place (and tap to release it)! But you can also know that it doesn’t apply to this situation.

It’s 105 degrees in Dallas right now. Listening to last February’s weather report (with ice, snow and minus 14 degree days) would have you in a parka, mittens and a scarf. NOT a pretty picture! It would be unhealthy and very unpleasant. Yet many of us go through life with last years parka and mittens. It makes it hard to enjoy and connect with now.

What old weather reports are you listening to? What rules do you follow that are outdated and no longer useful? Feel free to drop us an email and let us know. And if you’re ready to start updating your messages and rules, we want to help! Whether you do private coaching, join our group coaching program, or work though our Self-Sabatage program (self-sabotage is often caused by outdated rules!), we hope you can find the freedom to let go of that old parka and frolic on the beach now. Would you listen to a recording of last week’s (or last decade’s) weather report, no matter how dire it was, and feel panicked? Run for the tornado shelter? Probably not. Yet our old rules often have us acting just as strangely NOW!

I’ve been making really good progress, and I just got through some tough personal issues with tapping. But I’m angry with myself right now because for the last week or so, all I want to do is play computer games and I don’t feel like tapping much at all. What’s going on? — Beverly

Are you taking care of your day-to-day responsibilities? Paying bills, taking showers, showing up at work? If not, you may need some help getting your feet back under you and shifting from this stuck place.

If you’re still meeting your responsibilities, it sounds like you are taking a break for a bit. Could that be ok?

You said you processed and dealt with a large amount of stress. You faced some deep and terrifying fears. You took care of yourself using tapping. Congratulations!

Sometimes we need a “vacation” to recharge our batteries and to integrate the new knowledge and thought patterns. If you’ve been tapping and were curious and determined enough to clear some important issues for yourself,  your strong drive and desire for freedom and abundance will have you tapping again soon!

Could you allow yourself to enjoy relaxing for right now (as long as it isn’t interfering with your job or the care and feeding of small children or animals)? What if you gave yourself a “check in” date – so you know you won’t go “too” long?  Wrote it on your calender? For instance- a week from today, “check in and see how my body feels about tapping some more”?

We think, if you tune into your body, you’ll be able to tell if you need more down time or if you are avoiding something that feels big and scary. Does that resonate for you?

If it feels like the big scary part is in the way, that’s a great time to do some tapping on the fear…

Karate Chop: Even though I’m really afraid, and I want to distract my brain and deny my feelings, I also want to clear and move forward.

Even though I have this conflict, and I think this is too big to face, I don’t have to do it all alone, or all at once!

Even though I don’t even want to look at this, it’s much more fun to play computer games and pretend it’s not there, I choose to gather my courage and at least take a peek. It may not be nearly as big as I dread, and I’m tired of running away.

Top of the Head: I used to have to run away.
Eyebrow: I didn’t have many resources.
Side of the Eye: It was better to deny my feelings.
Under the Eye: It was better to distract myself from my fears.
Under the Nose: But I am a lot stronger now.
Chin: I have new and powerful skills.
Collarbone: A part of me thinks this is too much…
Under the Arm: But what if it was too much for me in the past, and not too much for me now?

Top of the Head: It is easier to run away.
Eyebrow: At least for awhile.
Side of the Eye: But then it starts getting tiring.
Under the Eye: I have to distract myself more and more.
Under the Nose: I miss the clarity and calm.
Chin: I miss the confidence and openness I felt.
Collarbone: I can look at this.
Under the Arm: I choose to look at this.

Top of the Head: I was afraid.
Eyebrow: I was tired.
Side of the Eye: I took a break.
Under the Eye: I rested.
Under the Nose: And now I am recharged.
Chin: I am afraid.
Collarbone: But I have support.
Under the Arm: I choose to look at this,
Top of the Head: And reclaim my freedom.

Take a deep breath.

What thoughts, Feelings, and ideas come up?

If you’re ready for support so you can face even your “big scary issues”, join our group coaching program today or arrange for a private tapping session! We love to help you tame and transform your fears so you can live your life with confidence and joy.

I recently lost two parents. I knew it was coming but I didn’t expect it to hurt so much or the grief, sadness, and loneliness to last so long. I feel like nothing will ever be the same again. –Bobbi

We don’t know what your beliefs are, so please take what feels right to you? And change the words as you like.

When dear members of our “tribe” go away, our primitive brain can feel insecure and scared. We want to reach for comfort… but the very people we once reached for aren’t there. That is very painful and frightening.

And this experience can bring up old traumas that have laid buried for decades. Anything that reminds us of being alone, scared, vulnerable, or unsupported can start flooding us alongside  this current pain. If you have specific memories from the past, you can try some inner tapping on them. (A private EFT tapping session might be ideal for you, too.)

Love is forever. What you created with them is still inside you and integrated into All That Is. Connecting with that can be comforting. And if you believe they can hear you and send and receive love even after they passed on, tapping and tuning into ongoing connection can feel warm and loving, as well.

Karate Chop: Even though I’m hurting, I miss them so much, I’m open to feeling loved, connected, and supported by the Universe.

Even though our relationship have changed and that wrenches my heart, I invite myself to connect with all the love and caring they poured into our relationship… perhaps THAT is forever.

Even though I am grieving, and that’s natural… I had a big loss… I choose to take care of myself and invite comfort and caring into my life. I ask the Universe to help me heal and find new loving connections.

Top of the Head: I am hurting.
Eyebrow: I miss them so much.
Side of the Eye: I feel alone.
Under the Eye: I miss the connection.
Under the Nose: I miss knowing they were there.
Chin: They held my stories…
Collarbone: And helped me feel love and belonging.
Under the Arm: No wonder I hurt so much.

Top of the Head: I am open to healing.
Eyebrow: I’m open to feeling connected to their love…
Side of the Eye: Even though they aren’t here in physical form.
Under the Eye: Perhaps the love we created is forever.
Under the Nose: I ask the Universe to help me feel it now.
Chin: I send them love as well.
Collarbone: I miss the flow back and forth.
Under the Arm: I’m open to sharing it energetically anyway.

Top of the Head: What would they suggest I do…
Eyebrow: To comfort myself from a loss?
Side of the Eye: I can do some of those things for myself.
Under the Eye: I can tap and talk to them now.
Under the Nose: I can offer myself a cup of hot tea.
Chin: I can wrap myself in a warm blanket and cry.
Collarbone: I can ask a friend for a hug.
Under the Arm: I am grieving and that hurts.
Top of the Head: But love is forever.

Take a deep breath.

We hope this helps. We know how hard it is to lose someone so close to you. And two at the same time is more challenging.

Remember, you don’t have to face this alone. Your primitive brain is already feeling isolated and sad. Turn to friends, a therapist or coach, or join a group that feels safe and supportive. Our Group Coaching Program may be a great fit for this time of your life… we designed it to be.

I don’t have a problem coming up with negative statements to tap on, but I have trouble moving to the positive. What do I do? And if I focus on the negative, will I draw lots of negative things to me? –Debbie

It’s ok to stay on the negative as long as you feel that way. People tend to know when it’s ok to offer some positives. And its ok to step there gently. You might tap a round or two on the negative, and then continue adding “I choose to see this differently”, or “I ask for guidance and clarity on healing this”.

If saying the positive doesn’t feel authentic or genuine, don’t go there yet… just ask for positive energy to arrive in your consciousness at the right time for you.

Karate Chop: Even though I feel really negative, and I have good reason, I’m open to finding something positive to tap on, too.

Even though I can’t find anything positive, and you wouldn’t either if you were in my situation, I choose to acknowledge that and release those old traumas and blocks that are keeping me stuck.

Even though I feel very negative and that’s the truth, I allow myself to feel my feelings, and I ask for clarity and guidance to changing this pattern and finding more joy in life.

Top of the Head: I feel very negative!
Eyebrow: That’s the truth.
Side of the Eye: I can tap on the negative as long as I need to.
Under the Eye: As long as I tap, my body is releasing the energy.
Under the Nose: I would like to feel more positive…
Chin: But I’m not there yet.
Collarbone: I choose to feel what I feel.
Under the Arm: And learn to accept myself right where I am.

Top of the Head: Even though I have all these negative emotions stuck in my body…
Eyebrow: I’m tapping now.
Side of the Eye: I’m teaching my body to release these blocks…
Under the Eye: …these old fears and traumas.
Under the Nose: Each time I tap…
Chin: I soothe my body a bit more.
Collarbone: I’m building my strength…
Under the Arm: And learning resilience.

Top of the Head: I do feel negative…
Eyebrow: But I’m doing good things for myself for a change.
Side of the Eye: It is a struggle sometimes…
Under the Eye: But as I tap, I love myself just a bit more.
Under the Nose: My body could use a lot of love.
Chin: So could my mind.
Collarbone: I may feel negative…
Under the Arm: But I’m doing positive things.
Top of the Head: And I’m open to clarity and help feeling more positive right now.

Take a deep breath.

How does that feel to your body? Our bodies don’t feel good when we speak something that is untrue, so pay attention to the aches and tensions that come up. They can help you get clarity. For a deeper understanding of this process, get your copy of Free Yourself today!

Listen (06:31) or Download MP3

I’m drinking far more than I like or feel good about, but I have to fight myself to limit even a little bit. How can I use tapping to change this? –Emily

Excessive drinking… or anything else we turn to habitually for numbing comfort… is caused by emotional pain and confusion. And the behavior continues for as long as we feel we can’t deal with it any other way.

Healing the pain makes it easier to shift this (as does learning more empowered and useful patterns for self-soothing).

To heal the pain and confusion, a lot of tapping (EFT) helps. Each person has different sources and beliefs about the pain, but this video tutorial can give you a doorway into shifting them deeply and completely.

As we release the pain and learn about what confused us with tapping, we naturally tend to feel more empowered. Tapping is a useful tool. And hurting less gives us room to develop other naturally self-soothing habits.

What would you do for a friend who was stressed, upset, bored, lonely or hurting? You wouldn’t give her a drink every time would you? Yet, that is what a lot of people turn to (or chocolate cake, or a shopping spree, or a new relationship… the list goes on and on. The particular “addiction” may change, but the hurt underneath is the same).

Perhaps you might offer that friend a safe place to cry or vent her anger and feel her emotions. You might give her a cup of hot tea and a blanket to wrap herself in. You might give her hugs and a compassionate ear. You could offer to tap with her to help her feel better. What stops you from doing that for yourself now?

Having people you can turn to at any time can make a big difference in helping you feel safer. There are a lot of different groups out there. Our group coaching forum and library is available at any time. And we have regular calls where people can connect and heal together using EFT tapping sessions like this (feel free to change the language to fit the habit YOU want to change):

Karate Chop: Even though I learned that the BEST AND ONLY way to soothe myself and numb myself was to drink alcohol, and that might have been true back then, I am open to learning better ways to soothe myself and feel better.

Even though I have the habit of drowning my emotions in alcohol, they just keep piling up and making me feel worse and worse. What if I started healing them instead?

Even though alcohol worked for me for a long time, it isn’t working well for me now. I’m ready to try something new, including this silly tapping stuff.

Top of the Head: Alcohol did work.
Eyebrow: It worked for a long time.
Side of the Eye: If it didn’t, I wouldn’t have used it.
Under the Eye: But now it’s creating a bigger problem.
Under the Nose: I’m ready to find better solutions.
Chin: What if I don’t have to drown my emotions?
Collarbone: What if I am strong enough to feel them now…
Under the Arm: And heal them?

Top of the Head: I’m drinking more than I want to.
Eyebrow: It’s hard on my body and mind.
Side of the Eye: I still need comfort though…
Under the Eye: A way to feel better.
Under the Nose: I bet I can learn how to do that.
Chin: In fact, I’m comforting myself now!
Collarbone: I’m tapping on my feelings.
Under the Arm: I bet I can heal them, too.

Top of the Head: I don’t have to do it all at once.
Eyebrow: But I’m a smart person.
Side of the Eye: I can learn new ways to soothe myself.
Under the Eye: My brain thinks alcohol is the only way…
Under the Nose: But I let my mind and spirit know there are LOTS of other ways.
Chin: And we can find them together.
Collarbone: I am hurting.
Under the Arm: I can heal.
Top of the Head: I’m starting today.

Take a deep breath.

What does that bring up? Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. A private coach or support group can make the process smoother and more successful. If you do decide to join a group like Alcoholics Anonymous, we strongly encourage you to also use inner tapping to let go of old frozen traumas, too. We’re holding a Good Thought for you!