Wonder of the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be full of laughter and joy, aren’t they?

I remember the promise of a glittering tree, brightly wrapped packages, warm cookies baking. As children, we were willing to dream and enjoy the wonder-filled moments of the season.

As adults, we’ve been conditioned to put ourselves last. To check off the list and then maybe, if we aren’t too tired, and the house isn’t too messy, we get to relax.

When did we stop enjoying ourselves? When did we give up the pleasure of being?

Our lives become this rat race to the finish, and the person with the longest list wins…

We always say we’ll stop and regroup LATER. When things are less stressful. But later never comes. The moments and days of our lives pass, and we never take the time to do what really matters most to us.

What makes life delicious to you? Is it a warm hug? A sweet smile? A loving word?

Connection and enjoyment is what we’re all reaching for. Yet we’re so busy, we miss it! Who cares if the tree is decorated just so, or the cards are all mailed on time with a perfect flourish in the signature…

Where is the warmth and love in your holiday?

If you’re missing it, take a few minutes now to connect. If your mind instantly reminds you “there is no time!”, notice that, and gently set that aside. Our primitive brain can get caught up in the struggle, and in the process, never realize that what it wants most is right in front of it!

A lot of us learned to EARN love by doing. So we try harder and harder, get busier and busier, hoping someone will finally give us the love we’ve been searching for.

It may be time to learn some new skills ,too. If you’ve been so busy trying to be worthy of  love and connection, you may not have developed the skills to create it with ease and playfulness. You wouldn’t allow a 5-year-old to drive your car, so why would you use the same social skills you learned in Kindergarten to connect with other adults now!?

We put together the Breaking Out of Your Shell package to help you upgrade your ability to connect and find enjoyment and warmth to make your life more full of wonder.

And you can tap to open yourself up to a more joyful holiday season!

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to work hard to let in joy and love, I choose to allow the warmth of connection in right now.

Even though I thought everything had to be perfect before I could enjoy myself, I do want more joy… and I invite it into my life NOW.

Even though I’ve been trying so hard, and that actually shuts me down and makes me cold and distant, I choose to take a deep breath and enjoy my life right here and now.

Top of the Head: I have so much to do.
Eyebrow: I can’t slow down right now.
Side of the Eye: I’m too tired to be present.
Under the Eye: I really do want more love.
Under the Nose: But it will have to wait.
Chin: I am tired of waiting!
Collarbone: I’m tired of this stress.
Under the Arm: I’m ready for a new way of doing things!

Top of the Head: The warmth I want is right in front of me.
Eyebrow: The holidays can be different this year.
Side of the Eye: I choose an upgrade!
Under the Eye: I can connect with people in a new way.
Under the Nose: I can look people in the eyes.
Chin: I can be present, rather than lost in my lists.
Collarbone: I can enjoy how my body feels…
Under the Arm: Rather than lost in my mind.

How can I trust God? I’m so mad and hurt by the things that have happened in my life, and recently I got some unexpected bad news. I heard one of you say that God can handle any of our emotions. But I’m afraid if I show God my anger, he’ll punish me.  – Andi

Note: Different people have different words for “all that is”. Some people call it Source, Universe, God, Higher Power…there are hundreds of names. Law of Attraction just assumes that there is something larger than ourselves, and that something is benevolent, loving, and kind. Feel free to change the word God to whatever works for you, and use he or she or it to refer to that power as you feel comfortable. Because Andi used “God”, that’s the word we’ll use in this article. We don’t think God cares what we call her/him/it, as long as we call…

God can handle whatever you feel. Including the bad stuff, including the blame and anger. Some of us grow up thinking we can hide our emotions and thoughts from God, and still have a connection- but its hard to feel open and trusting of anyone if we have “secrets.” And if God is all knowing, wouldn’t he/she already know you were angry?

We understand. It’s hard to trust God when so much has happened in your life. And if you’re feeling ungrateful, it’s really okay to say that and express it. We do feel awful sometimes. We are ungrateful sometimes. If we tap, we don’t have to stay there… but trying to force yourself out of that feeling before you’re ready doesn’t work really well. It just leaves us resentful and disconnected.

If it feels right, you can do some more tapping on this. We have been really honest with God about what we felt, including calling God lots of really bad names and sharing hatred and fury and resentment. Neither of us have been struck by lightening yet… and we felt calmer and more connected afterwards. (Cathy adds: I personally have used stronger words than are in this script, too. If cursing feels right, let God have it! While you tap, of course…) Feel free to change the words as you like.

Karate Chop: Hi God. I want you to know I HATE you… You BETRAYED me… You LET ME DOWN… I’ve been working so hard, trying to heal and feel more connected to you and you send me THIS?! How can I possibly trust you?!

You’re supposed to be so powerful, and you let this happen. What were you thinking?! I feel like you don’t love me and that crushes my heart. I am SO mad at you and I want to hurt you somehow.

Part of me is afraid to tell you this, but it is the truth. I want to trust you and feel loved by you, but this hurts too much. This is too big. I want to kick you in the shins. I want to pull your hair. I am afraid you’ll punish me for being angry…but I’m open to feeling your calm, loving, forgiving presence instead.

Top of the Head: I HATE you God.
Eyebrow: How could you let this happen?
Side of the Eye: Why would you allow this?
Under the Eye: I don’t understand.
Under the Nose: I try to be good.
Chin: I try to be loving.
Collarbone: And I’ve been working so hard.
Under the Arm: How can I trust you?

Top of the Head: I feel betrayed.
Eyebrow: I need to let this anger out.
Side of the Eye: I hope you’re strong enough to take it God.
Under the Eye: Cause here it comes!
Under the Nose: I HATE YOU.
Chin: You let me down!
Collarbone: I’m not sure how to trust you.
Under the Arm: Not after this!

Top of the Head: So much has happened.
Eyebrow: I’m not sure how to deal with this.
Side of the Eye: I could use your help with this anger.
Under the Eye: I could use some help with my fear.
Under the Nose: Even though I hate you…
Chin: Please help me.
Collarbone: Show me in LOTS of ways…
Under the Arm: That you love me deeply.
Top of the Head: And will help me through this.

Take a deep breath.

Does that help at all??

As scientists at heart, we like to base our beliefs at least SOMEWHAT on observation. We have not observed that anyone anywhere…no matter how holy or lovely or divine in their energy… is immune from: broken hearts, disease, cancer… you name it. Therefore, we cannot base OUR understanding of God on the notion that he is someone doling out favors and treats to the Good Boys and Girls… and punishing the others with disease. We see NO EVIDENCE of this.

We are not JUST physical Rick and Cathy. We have a non-physical reality, too. Call it spirit or soul, it is the Me, and the You, and the We that existed before we came into this earth world and will exist after and that has the eternal relationship with Source.

There may be places in this Universe where Souls go to have the Perfect Vacation… where fires only are used to roast marshmallows and keep us warm, where our arrivals and departures are always celebrated, where the food is always perfect and plentiful, the shoes always fit, and the friends are always true.

If there is such a Heaven, it is not this world. It is not this rock. It is not this vacation/incarnation.

We have friends whose idea of a great vacation is to rough it, to take only what they can carry on their back, to develop strength and endurance as they explore realms they have never seen before. We’d call them crazy… except…

It seems that life here on Earth for all of us is going to be a mix of deep intimacy and cold loneliness, of warm embraces and harsh breakups, of delicious foods savored with friends and… vomit. Who amongst us has not puked?

Loving God and trusting God seems to only come from knowing a broader truth, that Life is not begun and ended here, that on some deep level we are each an excited participant in a life here that challenges us… where our friends are challenged… where we cross new rivers and climb new mountains… even if we do so in pain and struggle and tears and shit. And at the end of THIS “vacation” we will most certainly have a story to tell. Just as we share our stories now.

We know that during the darkest times, when the noise gets stripped away, the God has guided us in making the “most” out of the precious time we get on this earth journey. By “most,” it doesn’t necessarily ever mean the most uninterrupted joy. It means sometimes moments of intimacy shared when sick, or when you hold someone’s hand because you would fall over if they were not there. The ONLY difference we can see between a cursed life and a Blessed Life is the perspective of the participant. And that, we do believe, we can always shift with God’s help.

Tapping while telling the truth of what you’re feeling RIGHT NOW, is powerful. And incredibly healing. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to speak the truth, or to even admit what it is. Having the support of a caring and insightful group of people can make all the difference. It can sooth your soul and  bring peace much quicker. If you are interested in finding community to share with, there are groups on many cities and towns. Meetup.com and Yahoo Groups can be great places to find connection. And our Group Coaching Program is our personal favorite place to share honestly in a place of warmth and understanding.

Listen (07:03) or Download MP3

I tend to get caught up in the rat race, trying to get ahead, feeling overwhelmed and confused. What I really seek is simple warmth and clarity. How do I refocus and slow down? -John

We all feel that way sometimes. It’s easy to push ourselves to get things done, thinking we’ll rest when we caught up. But we never seem to make it there. Minutes, hours, days, and years of our lives can slip by without us noticing the beauty, joy, and contentment in the NOW.

We can even convince ourselves we don’t have time to relax and be present. Who has time to tap?! That “to do” list isn’t completing itself!

It is in the quiet moments that we connect with what’s important in life… when we take the time to notice our heart beat… our breath… or to listen to the heart beat of someone we love. All the rushing is really our primitive brain trying to be safe and secure so it can SOMEDAY feel those quiet moments… and trying to help us feel we deserve the serenity and peace.

Why wait?

The times when we feel simple warmth and clarity can recharge our being and give us a fresh outlook and renewed desire. If you want to take a moment right now, you might try tapping like this:

Karate Chop: Even though I feel confused and lost, I am open to allowing warmth and clarity into my life.

Even though there is so much going on, and it’s hard to tune into the simple things, I allow myself to notice that I’m taking care of myself right now by tapping. I invite warmth and focus to flow in.

Even though I am really overwhelmed, and I can’t quiet my mind, I accept myself right where I am, and I invite my mind to notice how safe I really am right now.

Top of the Head: I am overwhelmed.
Eyebrow: I feel lost and confused.
Side of the Eye: I’m trying to do too much at once…
Under the Eye: So I never really enjoy one thing.
Under the Nose: What if I gave myself permission to slow down?
Chin: What if I could say no to some things…
Collarbone: So I could really say YES to what’s important?
Under the Arm: Part of me is afraid, and running on adrenaline.

Top of the Head: But all I want is simple warmth and clarity.
Eyebrow: I want to feel safe.
Side of the Eye: I want peace.
Under the Eye: I allow myself to breathe right now.
Under the Nose: A single, slow deep breath. (stop and breathe)
Chin: I invite clarity.
Collarbone: I invite warmth.
Under the Arm: I invite peace.

Top of the Head: There is a lot going on.
Eyebrow: And that’s okay.
Side of the Eye: I choose to notice that I am safe.
Under the Eye: I let myself take the time to breathe.
Under the Nose: I notice that my heart beats all on it’s own.
Chin: I don’t have to make it happen.
Collarbone: I allow some of this responsibility to melt away.
Under the Arm: I allow calm quiet.
Top of the Head: I allow simple warmth and loving clarity.

Take a deep breath.

Notice how your body feels. Does it feel a bit more relaxed and calm? Or are there fearful thoughts and beliefs coming up? Where did you learn those fears? Who taught them to you?

We tend to have a knee jerk reaction to negative beliefs. We believe them without considering if they’re true or not. As a culture, we tend to question positive statements more deeply (which is why a lot of marketers use fear tactics and negative statements). What if you questioned your negative beliefs the same way you examine the positive claims of a stranger?

You may be surprised. The negative beliefs may not even belong to you! They may have been passed down to you when you were very young. And they may be no more valid than the fears all those years ago in 1492 that the world was flat and Columbus would fall off the edge of the Earth, never to be seen again.

If you want help with your negative beliefs, our group coaching program is a great place to find support and caring detectives who will help you decide what is right for you.

We hope this helps! We also recommend for those who feel overwhelmed on a regular basis to devote just a few hours to listening and tapping along with From Overwhelm to Clarity. It can open up new doorways. You might find yourself with more time for simple warmth and clarity, or whatever it is you’re seeking.

I recently lost two parents. I knew it was coming but I didn’t expect it to hurt so much or the grief, sadness, and loneliness to last so long. I feel like nothing will ever be the same again. –Bobbi

We don’t know what your beliefs are, so please take what feels right to you? And change the words as you like.

When dear members of our “tribe” go away, our primitive brain can feel insecure and scared. We want to reach for comfort… but the very people we once reached for aren’t there. That is very painful and frightening.

And this experience can bring up old traumas that have laid buried for decades. Anything that reminds us of being alone, scared, vulnerable, or unsupported can start flooding us alongside  this current pain. If you have specific memories from the past, you can try some inner tapping on them. (A private EFT tapping session might be ideal for you, too.)

Love is forever. What you created with them is still inside you and integrated into All That Is. Connecting with that can be comforting. And if you believe they can hear you and send and receive love even after they passed on, tapping and tuning into ongoing connection can feel warm and loving, as well.

Karate Chop: Even though I’m hurting, I miss them so much, I’m open to feeling loved, connected, and supported by the Universe.

Even though our relationship have changed and that wrenches my heart, I invite myself to connect with all the love and caring they poured into our relationship… perhaps THAT is forever.

Even though I am grieving, and that’s natural… I had a big loss… I choose to take care of myself and invite comfort and caring into my life. I ask the Universe to help me heal and find new loving connections.

Top of the Head: I am hurting.
Eyebrow: I miss them so much.
Side of the Eye: I feel alone.
Under the Eye: I miss the connection.
Under the Nose: I miss knowing they were there.
Chin: They held my stories…
Collarbone: And helped me feel love and belonging.
Under the Arm: No wonder I hurt so much.

Top of the Head: I am open to healing.
Eyebrow: I’m open to feeling connected to their love…
Side of the Eye: Even though they aren’t here in physical form.
Under the Eye: Perhaps the love we created is forever.
Under the Nose: I ask the Universe to help me feel it now.
Chin: I send them love as well.
Collarbone: I miss the flow back and forth.
Under the Arm: I’m open to sharing it energetically anyway.

Top of the Head: What would they suggest I do…
Eyebrow: To comfort myself from a loss?
Side of the Eye: I can do some of those things for myself.
Under the Eye: I can tap and talk to them now.
Under the Nose: I can offer myself a cup of hot tea.
Chin: I can wrap myself in a warm blanket and cry.
Collarbone: I can ask a friend for a hug.
Under the Arm: I am grieving and that hurts.
Top of the Head: But love is forever.

Take a deep breath.

We hope this helps. We know how hard it is to lose someone so close to you. And two at the same time is more challenging.

Remember, you don’t have to face this alone. Your primitive brain is already feeling isolated and sad. Turn to friends, a therapist or coach, or join a group that feels safe and supportive. Our Group Coaching Program may be a great fit for this time of your life… we designed it to be.

I want to feel love and happiness. Right now I feel kind of blah. I don’t get much intensity about things, but I don’t feel very good either. I’ve done a lot of tapping, and I tried other things to help. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling. What can I do to feel more good feelings? I really want to feel those great emotions! — Neal

Could you ask yourself if it feels safe to feel good? Do you deserve to feel good? If not, or if you just feel tense and uneasy when you think about those questions, you may have some subconscious blocks and fears holding you back.

You sound like you’re doing a lot of supportive things to help yourself. And someone who wasn’t open to love and joy wouldn’t be working this hard to find it!

Can you daydream about feeling happy? Sometimes that’s a great way to target the fears that are lurking below the surface. If you create a “story” about you being happy, and let it play forward, what happens to you? Do you get to enjoy the happiness… or does something unpleasant happen in your daydream?

Instead of beating yourself up or being disappointed if your story takes a negative turn, look at it as evidence of what your subconscious believes. Our imagination can be a powerful way to connect with our primitive brain and hidden beliefs.

For instance, when I used to daydream about success, I would feel happy for a little bit… but then I would find myself imagining people yelling at me and being really unhappy. My subconscious believed that if I let it shine it would cause conflict and jealousy in those close to me.

Once I understood what the fear was, I could ask myself where I learned that. I had a list of several events that taught me not to sparkle too much, including my kindergarten teacher ridiculing me for making a mistake when I counted higher than she asked me to. Silly, I know, but my 5 year old self decided if she “showed off” people would get angry.

Each of the events is great tapping material. You can do inner tapping or just tap on the memory like normal.

You might also ask yourself if you feel safe with “negative” emotions like anger and sadness. If you’re resisting them, they could be blocking the higher vibration feelings you’re looking for.

If you’re not much of a daydreamer, you can do some tapping and see what comes up. Even if the phrase doesn’t seem to apply to you, try tapping on it anyway. You might be surprised what comes up when your brain corrects the inaccurate statement.

If you get a strong negative reaction to a phrase, see if you can tune in and ask why you feel that way (this is where a coach or a trusted friend can help you have the courage to dig a bit deeper and see things clearer).

Karate Chop: Even though I’m not sure what I’m feeling, and that makes it hard to tap, I wonder why I don’t notice my feelings very much. I ask for clarity and guidance, and I’d like to learn to feel all the richness of my emotions.

Even though I really want to feel love and joy, I don’t right now. I must not deserve to feel good! It certainly isn’t safe to feel good! I wonder where I learned this. I ask my subconscious to clue me in so I can understand what’s going on.

Even though I just don’t feel much, and that felt like the safest strategy for a long time… I thank my brain for coming up with such a powerful solution, and I ask it to notice that a lot has changed. Maybe it’s safe to feel again.

Top of the Head: I’m not sure what I’m feeling.
Eyebrow: I’d like to reclaim my emotions.
Side of the Eye: All of them.
Under the Eye: I’m not sure where they went…
Under the Nose: But I know I had a good reason for stuffing them down.
Chin: I want to feel joy.
Collarbone: I want to feel love.
Under the Arm: Those feelings make life beautiful and worth living.

Top of the Head: I guess it wasn’t safe…
Eyebrow: Or maybe I was convinced I didn’t deserve to feel good.
Side of the Eye: Part of me decided to hide my emotions.
Under the Eye: I invite them back now.
Under the Nose: It was a good solution back then.
Chin: I was pretty clever!
Collarbone: But now it’s safe to have them.
Under the Arm: And I deserve to feel good.

Top of the Head: I guess I could start with baby steps.
Eyebrow: Could I allow a soft smile?
Side of the Eye: A little genuine laughter?
Under the Eye: Or just a chuckle?
Under the Nose: Does that feel safe?
Chin: Does that break a rule?
Collarbone: I ask for clarity…
Under the Arm: And gentle insights…
Top of the Head:To help me feel love and joy again.

Take a deep breath.

What did you notice? Where there any strong reactions? If you haven’t been noticing your emotions for a long time for whatever reason, it may be helpful to notice body sensations instead. Does your stomach feel relaxed and open… or tight and resistant? Tuning into your body may help you reconnect with your emotions.

If you’re ready to enjoy and celebrate your life, we want you to come play! Each joyful person raises everyone’s vibration. Our Group Coaching Program is geared to help you find your own inner joy and guidance. We have tools and approaches that can help you start feeling better, today.

When we’ve exhausted all our resources, done everything humanly and sometimes inhumanly possible, there are times when we don’t know what else to do but turn it over to a higher power.

This was written to help a woman who’s young daughter was dying, but it can apply to anyone who has struggled with the pain or suffering of a loved one, or in our own heart.

Tapping with EFT at such times can be a form of prayer… acknowledging honestly how we feel, and asking God for our heavy heart to be lifted up.

Karate Chop: Even though I’m overwhelmed, and I want to give up but I can’t, I ask the Universe to give me peace and clarity.

Even though it feels like there’s a pressing weight on me, and I don’t know where to turn for help… I have done all I know how to do, and I turn this over to the Universe.

Even though I feel frantic, this is so important and it’s not working out, I have done everything I can think of, and now I’m tapping and asking the Universe for miracles and inspiration.

Top of the Head: I really am overwhelmed.
Eyebrow: This is so important.
Side of the Eye: I’ve struggled and begged.
Under the Eye: I’ve done everything I can think of.
Under the Nose: I thought I had it worked out…
Chin: But it’s falling apart.
Collarbone: I feel frightened and hopeless.
Under the Arm: I don’t know what to do.

Top of the Head: This is so important.
Eyebrow: I tried so hard.
Side of the Eye: I can’t afford to fail at this!
Under the Eye: I acknowledge how important this is…
Under the Nose: And how hard I’ve tried.
Chin: I don’t know what else to do…
Collarbone: But turn this over to All That Is Loving… and tap.
Under the Arm: I need a miracle.

Top of the Head: I don’t know how it can work out.
Eyebrow: But that isn’t my job.
Side of the Eye: I ask God to help.
Under the Eye: I ask for divine inspiration and support.
Under the Nose: I need help now.
Chin: I don’t get to decide how that help will come… and that’s hard for me.
Collarbone: I ask for patience and calm.
Under the Arm: I ask the Universe to help me be open to unusual solutions.
Top of the Head: And I ask for help releasing what I cannot control.

Take a deep breath.

How do you feel after tapping?

When we ask for help, and stop trying to make things happen, we sometimes discover new possibilities. And sometimes we don’t… especially if the situation involves other Beings.

We know that’s really hard to hear. When we can’t do anything to make someone we love feel better, it can break our hearts. Sometimes, the only thing we can do it ask for solutions, and let it go. And we can tap so we feel a BIT more patient, connected, and calm so we can be there for the person we love and receptive to possibilities.

Karate Chop: Even though I’m upset because I couldn’t make this work, I ask for calm loving guidance so I can support and soothe my loved one.

Even though I feel terrible, and my mind won’t stop racing, I truly don’t know what else to do. I turn the problem over to the power that created my life and her’s, and I ask for peace and grounding.

Even though I feel so guilty and helpless… I can love her and be with her, and that’s a gift beyond measure. I am open to inspiration, and I ask for an open heart and a tender touch.

Top of the Head: This conflict is tearing me up.
Eyebrow: I feel like I should have a solution.
Side of the Eye: I love this person so much.
Under the Eye: I want to make it all better.
Under the Nose: I don’t know what else to do.
Chin: I’ve tried everything I can.
Collarbone: I’ve racked my brain and searched my mind.
Under the Arm: And I don’t have a solution.

Top of the Head: I am open to inspiration and miracles…
Eyebrow: But I want to be fully Present, too.
Side of the Eye: It’s hard to see a loved one suffer.
Under the Eye: It hurts me, too.
Under the Nose: I ask for courage…
Chin: And calm quiet inside.
Collarbone: I want to be a True Support.
Under the Arm: I’m willing to release my conflict.

Top of the Head: This does hurt.
Eyebrow: It’s almost unbearable.
Side of the Eye: But I love and accept us both…
Under the Eye: Just as we are.
Under the Nose: I want to be supportive.
Chin: And help us both feel safe and loved.
Collarbone: I need help with this.
Under the Arm: I ask the Universe to guide me.
Top of the Head: Please give me guidance, love, and courage.

Take a deep breath.

Does this help? We’re holding a Good Thought for you!

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Over the past seven years, we have had many people join our group when they were in the middle of a challenging crisis. Sometimes, just having a safe place (like a private forum or team call) to express yourself and get some gentle support can help you tap into inner strength you never knew you had.

If you have any questions about whether group participation or private sessions might help, feel free to email us at support@thrivingnow.com.

We loved the appreciation and positive viewpoint of this email, despite the struggle many people there are facing.

The email was forwarded through a chain of people who thought it would help others. We haven’t been able to trace it back to the original author. (Note, since this was posted, one of our readers was kind enough to let us know that this had been posted with Author information on Ode: The Online Community for Intelligent Optimists. We have updated the author information with thanks!)

We thank Anne for the beauty and grace she shared with us. May we all show as much courage and loving insight in moments of crisis in our lives.

If the situation in Japan is causing you distress, you may find Japan Relief – When Others Are Suffering helpful. Carol Look also talks about the situation at the end of the interview she did with Cathy on Ancestral Beliefs.

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Hello My Lovely Family and Friends,

First I want to thank you so very much for your concern for me. I am very touched. I also wish to apologize for a generic message to you all. But it seems the best way at the moment to get my message to you.

Things here in Sendai have been rather surreal. But I am very blessed to have wonderful friends who are helping me a lot. Since my shack is even more worthy of that name, I am now staying at a friend’s home. We share supplies like water, food and a kerosene heater. We sleep lined up in one room, eat by candlelight, share stories. It is warm, friendly, and beautiful.

During the day we help each other clean up the mess in our homes. People sit in their cars, looking at news on their navigation screens, or line up to get drinking water when a source is open. If someone has water running in their home, they put out sign so people can come to fill up their jugs and buckets.

Utterly amazingly where I am there has been no looting, no pushing in lines. People leave their front door open, as it is safer when an earthquake strikes. People keep saying, “Oh, this is how it used to be in the old days when everyone helped one another.”

Quakes keep coming. Last night they struck about every 15 minutes. Sirens are constant and helicopters pass overhead often.

We got water for a few hours in our homes last night, and now it is for half a day. Electricity came on this afternoon. Gas has not yet come on.

But all of this is by area. Some people have these things, others do not. No one has washed for several days. We feel grubby, but there are so much more important concerns than that for us now. I love this peeling away of non-essentials. Living fully on the level of instinct, of intuition, of caring, of what is needed for survival, not just of me, but of the entire group.

There are strange parallel universes happening. Houses a mess in some places, yet then a house with futons or laundry out drying in the sun.

People lining up for water and food, and yet a few people out walking their dogs. All happening at the same time.

Other unexpected touches of beauty are first, the silence at night. No cars. No one out on the streets. And the heavens at night are scattered with stars. I usually can see about two, but now the whole sky is filled.

The mountains are Sendai are solid and with the crisp air we can see them silhouetted against the sky magnificently.

And the Japanese themselves are so wonderful. I come back to my shack to check on it each day, now to send this e-mail since the electricity is on, and I find food and water left in my entranceway. I have no idea from whom, but it is there. Old men in green hats go from door to door checking to see if everyone is OK. People talk to complete strangers asking if they need help. I see no signs of fear. Resignation, yes, but fear or panic, no.

They tell us we can expect aftershocks, and even other major quakes, for another month or more. And we are getting constant tremors, rolls, shaking, rumbling. I am blessed in that I live in a part of Sendai that is a bit elevated, a bit more solid than other parts. So, so far this area is better off than others. Last night my friend’s husband came in from the country, bringing food and water. Blessed again.

Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is indeed an enormous Cosmic evolutionary step that is occurring all over the world right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events happening now in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide. My brother asked me if I felt so small because of all that is happening. I don’t. Rather, I feel as part of something happening that much larger than myself. This wave of birthing (worldwide) is hard, and yet magnificent.

Thank you again for your care and Love of me,

With Love in return, to you all,

Anne

Anne Thomas on 3/14/2011

So many books, programs, gurus, and spiritualist talk about overcoming the ego. Fighting it. Some even insist you must destroy the ego or you can never live a true spiritual life.

What if you could love your ego… and sooth it… and help it transform instead? Perhaps it could become your biggest supporter and head cheerleader.

What if you could take all the energy and watchfulness you would need to fight against your ego… and instead co-created the world you want to live in?

Just like the subconscious, there is no particular part of your brain anyone can point to and say “here is your ego.” The word ego is a shorthand way of describing how parts of the brain, the body-mind, and aspects of your personality function.

Our reading is that the ego consists of the parts of us that want to stay safe and feel loved and important. To the primitive brain this is Priority #1. The primitive brain is tied to the belief that if you don’t survive, nothing else matters. And being valued by your primitive “tribe” could mean the difference between life and death.

The ego, as it’s identified by most people, consists of old traumatized parts of us, internalized voices of our parents and teachers (stored in the mirror neurons), and many other fearful, scared bits of ourselves. It’s easy to blame those parts of us and see them as “the problem.” Their chatter and rules seem to get in the way of a peaceful, abundant life. They can cause us to do things we don’t mean to or want to (self-sabotaging ourselves).

But in each of those bits of us there is also immense creativity, energy, and self-love. Each of those bits truly wants the best for us and is trying desperately to get it… based on their current understanding (which admittedly may be very out of date). Rather than suppressing and fighting those parts of us, we can choose to love them and help them get updated data… so they can help us achieve our desires.

That’s how we approach tapping. Every time we say “Even though I have this issue, I love and accept myself anyway” (or whatever your version of that affirmation statement is), we send some love and acceptance to one of those scared bits of us.

And just like a frightened child who is finally safe, tapping helps send safe energy to that part of us… so we can relax and take a deep breath. Rather than running in a blind panic, forcing quick action to protect ourselves from terrible danger, that part of us can look around and notice new input. It can learn what is helpful now and turn its focus on creating more and more Good Stuff in our lives.

We can talk to those parts of us and help them feel safe and valued. We can give them new jobs that align with our current goals and aspirations. And it feels so good to be able to relax and reclaim that part of us.

Imagine what it would be like to not feel that constant inner struggle between you and YOU. It is possible. We see such shifts happen within our clients every single day. We pray that you find the same inner peace, too. If there is anything we can do to help, please feel free to write us anytime at support@thrivingnow.com.

Let’s do some tapping together now.

If you’ve been fighting part of yourself, just try… for a few minutes… sending love and acceptance instead. You might be delighted and surprised with the results!

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to fight this part of me, and I blamed it for everything that went wrong, what if I could transform this vital, inner relationship between me and ME?

Even though they taught me to suppress parts of me, and I tried that for a long time, I’m tired of the struggle… and I’m ready to approach this differently.

Even though I thought my ego was bad, what if it’s been trying to help me all along, in it’s own way? I choose to connect and help it redirect its energies in new and empowering ways.

Top of the Head: Stupid ego!
Eyebrow: Always getting in my way.
Side of the Eye: Messing things up!
Under the Eye: Making me feel self-centered and bad.
Under the Nose: I thought I was bad for having an ego.
Chin: What if that’s like feeling bad for having a belly button?
Collarbone: Everyone has an ego.
Under the Arm: Maybe I can look at this differently.

Top of the Head: What if my ego has been trying to help…
Eyebrow: The best way it knows how?
Side of the Eye: Maybe I could thank it for its efforts.
Under the Eye: I wonder if I could ask it to help me instead?
Under the Nose: It wants me to be safe.
Chin: It wants me to succeed.
Collarbone: It just has a funny way of helping.
Under the Arm: I bet we could work together and co-create something wonderful!

Top of the Head: I thought I had to struggle.
Eyebrow: Maybe I don’t.
Side of the Eye: I thought I had to force my ego to behave…
Under the Eye: But I can tap with it instead.
Under the Nose: It took a lot of energy to fight myself.
Chin: Now I have all kinds of energy to play with instead.
Collarbone: I thank my ego for working with me.
Under the Arm: I invite it to share perspectives and send inspiration.
Top of the Head: I can’t wait to see what we manifest together!

Take a deep breath.

How do you feel? Does it feel safe to allow this inner transformation… or are you remembering different times when it wasn’t safe to allow yourself to relax and flow towards abundance and love? Did you learn that you have to watch yourself ALL the time or bad things would happen?

Tapping on those memories (and old traumas big and small) can help you feel safer and learn a new way of looking at life… and yourself.

If you want help, our group coaching program is a great way to accelerate your inner growth:

http://www.thrivingnow.com/team

And our new Specialized Coaching Program 90-Days to Transform Self-Sabotage Into Authentic Action can help you clear self-sabotaging behaviors and empower yourself to reach your dreams. We’d love to work with you!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/cpro-90transform/

Today we’re talking about releasing loneliness and tuning yourself to attract or deepen a relationship. We’d love your feedback. What blocks you from allowing deeper and more satisfying love? What stops you from attracting or finding more tenderness and warmth? Did this article help? Email us at support@thrivingnow.com.

As always, feel free to share our articles with your friends. If they’d like to get their own directly, they can sign-up at:

http://www.thrivingnow.com/subscribe

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4 Steps to Transforming Loneliness and Opening Yourself to Love

Loneliness is hard. It can “eat into you” and make you feel sad and hopeless.

Whether you’re with a long term partner you don’t connect with deeply as you’d like… or you are single and don’t want to be anymore…  if you feel lonely, you probably aren’t enjoying life nearly as much as you’d like to.

If you’ve been feeling lonely, here are four steps you can take to start changing this pattern and make it easier to attract someone special into your life.

1) If you have subconscious beliefs that finding a partner is in any way dangerous or that you don’t deserve to have someone love you… you will find yourself missing connections and not noticing people that could be a good fit with your life.

Say out loud, “I am ready to have a romantic partner in my life.” Notice how true that feels 0-10 where 0 means “not at ALL true, you’ve got to be kidding!” and 10 means “Absolutely, totally, unconditionally ready for the right partner!”

Does any part of you feel tense, angry, or scared at the thought? If so, do some tapping (EFT) on whatever memory, belief, or fears that come up.

It can be easier to work through these blocks with help. Our group coaching program is a great way to get support and insight while connecting with people and changing the trend from lonely to loved. (Many of us learn to feel safe in friendships first, before we are ready to move to romance). http://www.thrivingnow.com/team

2) Once you clear those blocks, it can be really helpful to spend a bit of time writing down what you want.

What kind of romantic relationship do you want? Do you want to live together? Get married? Spend quality time together? Do you love cooking? Being cooked for? Sharing or eating out? Write out what really turns you on about a romantic relationship. What is the experience you want to have?

Next, look at what you’d like to receive (tenderness, great listening, financial support, closeness, intimacy, passion, peace… your preferences do matter!).

You may also find it helpful to write out what do you bring to the relationship. Often people get very clear about their vision of Mr. Right or The-Future-Mrs-Perfect. That’s good. But be clear about what you are offering. Are you offering home cooked meals every night, or that you will help financially support a restaurant-of-the-day lifestyle? How much DESIRE and INTEREST do you want to offer your mate? Look at what you want to receive and see how you’d like to offer your own flavor of that.

And where you are clear about what you don’t want (from painful experience perhaps?), turn it on it’s head. Alcoholic in the past? Perhaps you now want to co-create a safe, interesting, and healing space where being fully and deliciously present is natural and deeply desired by you both.

Making those things conscious and clear can help you tune your vibration to attract what you’re looking for.

3) Start noticing the times you do feel connected. When we don’t have a romantic partner, we can be very aware of the lack.

By paying attention to the times we do feel loved and supported, we start tuning our systems to bringing more of that into our consciousness.

It can be small things. Did your cat purr when you petted him this morning? Did someone smile at you as you walked in the store? Did a friend send a nice card for your birthday?

Allow yourself to appreciate what you do have in your life and say your version of “Thanks, Universe, please send more!” The post, Allowing Love may help with this:

http://www.thrivingnow.com/allowing-love/

4) And of course, you can do some tapping!

Start with the loneliness…

Karate Chop: Even though I feel so lonely I think my heart may break, I am taking steps to feeling more resilient and loved as we speak.

Even though I’m tired of being lonely, and I want to find someone to love right now, I am willing to accept myself as I am.

Even though I am lonely and it hurts, I send myself compassion, and I ask the Universe to help me make warm and rich connections of all kinds.

Top of the Head: I’m so lonely.
Eyebrow: I’m tired of hurting.
Side of the Eye: I want someone to care about me.
Under the Eye: I want someone to care about.
Under the Nose: I feel like I’ve been alone for a long time.
Chin: I ask my heart to help me.
Collarbone: I want to find a good partner.
Under the Arm: Someone who connects with me at a deep level.

Top of the Head: I am so lonely.
Eyebrow: And I’m sending comfort to myself right now.
Side of the Eye: Sometimes it feels like no one cares.
Under the Eye: But I’ve decided to be open to noticing all the ways the Universe sends me love.
Under the Nose: I want to feel more connected.
Chin: More supported.
Collarbone: Even if it is just a stranger’s smile.
Under the Arm: Or a friend’s hug.

Top of the Head: I have been lonely.
Eyebrow: But I’m connecting with myself right now.
Side of the Eye: And I’m taking action to bring more love into my life.
Under the Eye: I’m soothing myself with tapping.
Under the Nose: I’m feeling a bit more confident about reaching out.
Chin: I’m ready to find a warm, rich connection.
Collarbone: I’m ready to radiate love.
Under the Arm: Thank you, Universe, for helping me feel better.
Top of the Head: Thank you for loving me so deeply.

Take a deep breath.

Notice what came up.

Was there any resistance or fear? If there was a sense of hopelessness, or a thought that “I don’t get to be loved,” that is probably an early belief that got stuck. What does this remind you of specifically?

Do some Inner Tapping for yourself or with a friend to clear the block and bring comfort to yourself:

http://www.thrivingnow.com/innertapping

Once you’ve soothed the loneliness, you can do some tapping asking the Universe to help you find the connection you want. This tapping can help whether you want to deepen a current connection or find someone new:

Karate Chop: Even though I haven’t had a partner in a long time, I’ve made a lot of changes and I ask the Universe to help me met someone special.

Even though I struggled with this in the past, I’ve made a lot of changes, and I’m open to this being surprisingly easy.

Even though I’ve been lonely a long time, I’ve released those old traumas and I’m ready to connect in love.

Top of the Head: I’ve been alone a long time.
Eyebrow: I’ve grown and changed.
Side of the Eye: What if it’s a lot easier now?
Under the Eye: I know it used to be hard…
Under the Nose: But that was a different time and place.
Chin: My heart is full of love…
Collarbone: And I don’t feel as scared.
Under the Arm: I invite the Universe to help me find someone I connect with deeply.

Top of the Head: I’m ready to give this a try!
Eyebrow: I can even take it slow.
Side of the Eye: That might feel good.
Under the Eye: And if I get scared or uncertain…
Under the Nose: I can tap…
Chin: And ask for help.
Collarbone: What if this could be surprisingly easy…
Under the Arm: And even really, really fun!

Top of the Head: I have changed a lot.
Eyebrow: I think I’m ready for romantic love.
Side of the Eye: I’ve learned to love myself.
Under the Eye: And now I’m looking for someone to share myself with.
Under the Nose: I ask the Universe to help me bump into that person.
Chin: Someone to share my love with…
Collarbone: Please draw my attention to someone with matching desires.
Under the Arm: So we can create wonderful experiences together.
Top of the Head: I can’t wait to see what the Universe sends!

Take a deep breath.

Feel free to add more rounds. You can use phrases from your description of your ideal mate, and what you’d bring to the relationship.

Pay attention to your body as you go. You may find you become tense or resistant at unexpected places (like when you say, “think I’m ready for romantic love.”). Even if it doesn’t feel logically true, if your body reacts to a thought with tension, some tapping can help clean up your vibration and give you Clarity. Our primitive brain sometimes makes unexpected leaps, and our fears are not always logical… even if they’re ultimately intended to keep us safe.

If you’re ready to transform your life and connect deeply, our group coaching program is a great way to practice allowing support and caring in… and release your old blocks to love. Join us Today!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/team

Listen (50:03) or Download MP3

Spiritual Growth
The Inner Path to Emotional Freedom and a Thriving Life

I was invited to write the chapter on Spiritual Growth with EFT for the book, Freedom at Your Fingertips. As a special free bonus for you, here is a PDF of that chapter along with an audio recording of me reading the book and doing the tapping sequences. Enjoy!

13-Page PDF of the Spiritual Growth Chapter

How do we grow spiritually?
Do I have to use the name “God” to describe this spiritual connection?
How can I start having spiritual experiences?
Is blind faith required?
Do I have to become religious to be spiritual?
So, how do I connect with God?
How do I ask to grow spiritually?
How can I know that God always answers?
How do I allow myself to experience God and grow spiritually?
What should I expect to feel as I allow?
Does spiritual growth require much practice?
What are some of the practices I can use for spiritual growth?
How does meditation help?
What role does mindfulness play in spiritual growth?
What is the role of prayer?
Where do I go from here?

If you find yourself becoming dependent on any one person for your health, healing, or emotional support, I strongly encourage you to expand your circle. I encourage everyone to seek out and invest in new friendships. If fear is getting in your way, explore using EFT to help you overcome them.

Outside my inner circle of close family and friends, there are others who have made a big, positive impact on my life. Since 1991 I have been receiving regular energy work and massage therapy. When I was very sick and finally found someone who could help, I drove nine hours each way for a session. One of the key milestones in my healing journey was when I found a local massage therapist, Vicki Carlson, who could also support me. It wasn’t just the time and financial commitment to travel so far out of town. Going to Vicki meant that I was willing to broaden both my circle of support and my circle of trust.

It would concern me if a client said something like, “Oh, I could never go to someone else.” Not only do I have a physical body that is guaranteed to die someday, I know from my own experience that people change. My professional skills evolve and may lead me in new directions. I take vacations. If my clients can “only see me,” what will they do while I am gone? One of my long-time mentors Christine Felker moved 1000 miles away recently. I loved her craniosacral sessions and our monthly time together. Yet, optimal health comes from knowing that we are well supported not just by One Special Person but by a circle that nurtures and encourages our spiritual connection to the Source of well-being within us.

I also want to encourage you to think in terms of circles of support in business, too. The internet represents a new kind of ecosystem. We have the opportunity to connect with others who have complementary skills and products, and through these connections we share both energetic support for our mutual mission and often financial return through affiliate revenue sharing. For this to succeed we have to relinquish our need to control and monopolize the customer—a fear-based thought that is never more of an illusion anyway.

I believe that if we “have to do it all ourselves,” we’re trapped. There is a limit to what one person can produce and support.

Yet, when we let go of the need to do it all ourselves, we become free to create trusting win-win relationships with others. We can join a circle of support that generously shares respect, recommendations, trust, and opportunity… a place where we are all committed students AND teachers. That is the kind of TEAM that excites me, that truly can demonstrate that Together Everyone Achieves More. If it excites you, too, I’d love for you to join the Thriving Now Team.