If you’re interested in The Secret To… Your Powerful, Confident YES!! …Rick will be speaking with 24 other experts in the field of energy healing starting this Tuesday, January 31st (Rick’s talk on this specific subject is February 10th). Learn from all the experts in this free series by signing up today!

Your Vibrant Health Secrets Telesummit:
An online event of powerful healing and transformation

http://www.thrivingnow.com/yourvibranthealth

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The Secret To…Your Powerful, Confident YES!!

Imagine for a moment that you’re given your dream car. It is the right color, the right size, the right ZIP, the right gas mileage… even the right smell! The road to your desires stretches out before you.

What if… there is only one little problem.
What if… the dream car has no brakes?!?

If you are sane… if some measure of safety is as important to you as freedom… you will leave that dream car in the garage until you can get brakes installed.

And frankly, more people are held back by lack of a practical and strong ability to say NO than they are by things like “fear of failure.”

If you get the money you desire, can you say NO to people who want to take advantage of you?

If you are attracted to someone, and you’re having a great time together, can you say NO (or not yet!) if they want to move things along too fast?

If you start getting famous, can you say NO to the ventures and requests that don’t help you with your dreams and goals?

We’re CONDITIONED to say ‘sure… okay… fine…’
Even when it doesn’t FEEL like a YES from head to toe.

If you’ve ever said yes when your body was screaming NO, you know what a toll it takes. If you do this every day… if you often feel like you’re forced, trapped, and obligated to consent when your heart and gut say otherwise, then isn’t it time you…

Are you ready to find your brakes… so you can drive through life with power, confidence, and CONTROL?

We can tell you from personal experience that once you have an empowered NO, your YES becomes vastly more confident, clear, and enjoyable. Your friends start to realize that you know what you like, that they can trust your no and yes, and that you can take into account their likes, too… as you look for a mutual YES-YES. (I know I feel safer riding in a friend’s car that has brakes! Your friends and loved ones will feel the difference as you develop new skill and grace with your boundaries, too.)

Let’s do some EFT Tapping together:

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to be able to drive REALLY fast, so I could get there…I might feel safer and more confident if I was sure I had good brakes.

Even though I’ve been frustrated that I haven’t been moving forward, what if my subconscious is nervous and is slowing things down? If I made sure I had a great NO, it might be willing to help me rather than tripping me up!

Even though I thought it was all about the YES, what if my YES is more powerful when I also have an empowered NO?

Top of the Head: I want to say yes.
Eyebrow: I want abundance and love.
Side of the Eye: I thought I needed to focus on my YES.
Under the Eye: I didn’t pay attention to having a matching NO.
Under the Nose: Without brakes, I don’t feel safe.
Chin: Without a NO, it’s hard for me to feel confident.
Collarbone: What if I spent some time…
Under the Arm: And checked out my NO?

Top of the Head: I do want abundance…
Eyebrow: And I want to choose what I do with it.
Side of the Eye: I want people to love…
Under the Eye: And I want to choose when and how.
Under the Nose: I do want to allow abundance of all kinds…
Chin: Having a NO makes it easier.
Collarbone: I could certainly use some ease!
Under the Arm: I would love some safety, too!

Top of the Head: Maybe it’s time to move forward in a new way.
Eyebrow: Maybe it’s time to feel my confidence grow.
Side of the Eye: I’d love to feel calm and grounded…
Under the Eye: Even as I get my heart’s desires.
Under the Nose: I can learn to have a powerful No.
Chin: So I can have a powerful Yes.
Collarbone: I can learn to move forward with ease…
Under the Arm: Knowing I can direct my flow…
Top of the Head: And choose which way I go.

Take a deep breath.

If you’d like to explore this further, listen to Rick’s call on the free teleseries (like below) and also drop us an email at support@thrivingnow.com – We look forward to hearing your thoughts and questions!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/yourvibranthealth

by Rick Wilkes

Lover-types crave connection. Lunch alone is food. Lunch with a dear friend is nourishment for body and soul. Love and co-creation makes life warm and delicious. And lover-types often feel anxious and confused by conflicting messages about what they “should do” and who they “should be” in order to be “successful.”

I have friends who thrive on competition. They play sports (and rabidly root for their teams on TV). They set goals to climb the corporate ladder… and stand alone at the top of the mountain. Personal accomplishment shines them up and makes them feel good. Leadership to them means setting the pace, the standard, and getting others to follow.

Others are natural crusaders and warriors. They see injustice, or threats to the environment, and they take up arms. They gather energy to their side of the issue and use the polarity of Us vs. Them to clarify positions, force decisions, and evoke change. The  shared mission lights them up, and opposition activates their greater passion and stamina.

I am neither Chief nor Crusader…

I am a Lover, a Dreambuilder, and a Co-Creator.

To stand alone at the top of the mountain… would feel empty to me. To make love at the top of the mountain… YES! Now THAT would be worth the climb!

Coaches who are chiefs tell you to set audacious personal goals, to stretch yourself, to hold yourself accountable… in order to achieve your personal greatness.

Coaches who are crusaders help people find their mission in life, engage with it, attract others to their Cause… and change the world.

Coaches who are lover-types focus on CONNECTION. Our passion is to help you connect with your body, with your heart, with your energy and its delicious flow… and connect with loving friends, loving partners, and loving Co-Creators to magnify and enhance what Life has to offer.

We’re inspired when we engage with people who want to clear what blocks them from love. We know the courage it takes to have a wounded heart and rise to even consider opening in love once again. We can feel the dream for a life with a Circle of Loving Support.

There was a time when I wasn’t clear about who I was. Now that I have that clarity, I can see how following the advice of chiefs and crusaders confused and depleted my energy.

If you are a lover-type, you know what I mean. We find fulfillment and joy in co-creation. We need it. Love connection for us is fundamental.

Lover-types would much rather rub someone’s tired body and hear happy oooohs and aaaaahs (and feel the yummy appreciation and gratitude flow between us)… than compete for a prize or march in a demonstration.

Which would you rather do?

Of course, just because we’d rather Love than anything else doesn’t mean we necessarily have as MUCH of that in our life as we’d enjoy… or even enough to feel OKAY!

I know that many of us lover-types in the world are confused. Some of that comes from trying to see the world through the eyes of chiefs and crusaders (and other personality types that don’t see life our way). We’ve been conditioned to disrespect our own Guidance, and to discount what we value most because it doesn’t come with a price tag or trophy or letter grade.

Cathy, Reid, and I would like to invite you to explore with us. If love is dear to you, we’re co-creating a space where for the next two weeks we’ll share what we have learned about the art of Creating Connection. We’ll engage with your questions and move towards clarity about what is right for you personally. We’ll do some tapping together, and we’ll be specific about practical ways you can bring more satisfaction into your world… the deep satisfaction that comes from sharing a love connection with another safe, happy, respectful human being (or two… or ten!)

At this point I’m quite blessed with safe, respectful, loving relationships, and I am still eager for more! While the pictures for this program show lots of romantic kissing, I know as I look at what we’ll be covering that this would be immensely useful even to a lover-type that was celibate! Intimacy goes well beyond what most people think… and we’ll guide you in ways to create happy, healthy, safe, and yummy connections of all types.

We hope you’ll join us! We have people coming together from around the world, and many will be listening to the recordings and participating and asking questions on our Facebook Group, too.

http://www.thrivingnow.com/creating-connection/

I’ve asked my co-creator Cathy to do some EFT Tapping with us…

See if these words resonate for you… even if they don’t, it’s safe to say them. Tapping will bring clarity and truth, so even if you say something that doesn’t fit for you, all that will create is understanding and possibilities for other options!

There are no wrong “types”, whether you are a lover, warrior, chief or some combination, it is just about knowing yourself and creating what is most vitalizing and powerful for you… that makes the world beautiful and more abundant for everyone.

Karate Chop: Even though I felt lost and confused by so many of the messages out there… I thought I was supposed to compete and strive for success… my heart never felt comfortable with that, and now I know I can live life in a way that speaks to my heart.

Even though I felt lonely and a bit scared by the world, I didn’t know where I fit, I am a lover at heart, and co-creating is my true calling. I can relax and let my heart guide me to accomplish amazing things!

Even though I felt out of place, I never was… I was just trying to fit in a space that wasn’t really me… I have insight and support now, and I can learn how to connect deeply and safely and live my heart’s desire.

Top of the Head: I was lost and alone.
Eyebrow: I thought maybe there was something wrong with me.
Side of the Eye: Maybe I didn’t deserve happiness.
Under the Eye: Maybe I didn’t deserve to be fulfilled.
Under the Nose: I tried to be everything they told me…
Chin: I tried to conform and fit in.
Collarbone: It never felt right.
Under the Arm: It never felt like ME.

Top of the Head: I’m learning there are lots of ways to be.
Eyebrow: I’m learning who I truly am is wonderful!
Side of the Eye: I don’t have to be “them” to be ok.
Under the Eye: I may do it differently…
Under the Nose: And add value to the world in my own way.
Chin: No one taught me how to use my greatest strength…
Collarbone: No one taught me the skills of connection.
Under the Arm: I can learn how to use the power of love.

Top of the Head: I claim my own power.
Eyebrow: I can have my own approach.
Side of the Eye: And learn those skills that make it easy to connect.
Under the Eye: I’m ready to warm the world with my love.
Under the Nose: I’m ready for life to be delicious!
Chin: Connection and love do that for me.
Collarbone: I am open to feeling calm and confident…
Under the Arm: As I bring more love to myself…
Top of the Head: And to the world.

Take a deep breath.

We’d love to have you join us for Creating Connection. We’re excited to share these techniques with heart centered people who want to claim their power and use their natural skills and abilities in new ways.

http://www.thrivingnow.com/creating-connection

by Cathy Vartuli

We often talk about the freeze response from trauma. The problem is, if you’ve been “frozen” in one area of your life for a long time, you may not even notice it anymore. You may take how you feel for granted… think that there’s not much you can do about it.

I was there.

Over all, my life was great! A career I loved bringing in financial abundance. Wonderful friends. Spacious, comfortable home in a nice neighborhood. Health. The one area I felt stuck in, I didn’t think I could do anything about.

I wasn’t finding romance. I wasn’t even dating. I think I was subconsciously expecting to eventually trip over the right person, and I’d fall miraculously in love and live happily ever after. Only it wasn’t happening…

I’d tapped with Rick and got help from other people, too. I had abundance in so many areas in my life, and I felt rather like Helen Keller around romantic relationships… trying to understand why this wasn’t working for me and just not getting it.

Luckily, Rick had seen some of Reid Mihalko’s practical, down-to-earth articles. Perhaps out of frustration at hearing me complain for the thousandth time that I wasn’t meeting anyone, he suggested I call Reid for a session.

I’m so glad I did! Working with Reid, I found that there were specific skills and techniques that I never learned growing up. Not the manipulative, sleazy suggestions I’d read in the self-help and dating books and could never bring myself to use. These were honest, authentic ways to open up and connect. Suddenly, all the suggestions Rick and other coaches made clicked into place.

My friends know I can get rather focused when I’m intrigued with a subject, and I’ve been digging into this topic intensely for the last 8 months. And I’m delighted and astounded with the changes I’ve been able to create.

Using these new skills, tapping (thanks Rick and Carol Look!), and new insights about myself, I’ve been dating regularly… and meeting some wonderful people. In fact, I’ve had more requests for dates than I can fit in my schedule. I’m enjoying the warm connection, laughter, and clear communication. And I feel more confident and relaxed with friends and at work, too.

I’m not saying this to brag… I love how my life has opened up and how much affection and delight I have now, and I want you to know it’s possible for you, too.

All the excuses I had were just fear stopping me from moving forward. They were just the frozen part of me staying stuck.

I thought I might be too old (I’m 44), overweight (I’ve lost weight, and I have more to lose), not pretty enough, too geeky. And none of that matters.

One of my favorite quotes is by Rumi: That which you seek is seeking you.

There are some amazing people longing for the connection and love you have inside you. And you can learn how to find them and make it easy for them to find you.

If you’re already in a relationship, these skills and techniques can re-ignite your fire (despite what conventional wisdom says, the spark doesn’t need to go out after the first initial rush!).

Reid, Rick, and I are bringing you the insights, skills, and approaches that can open this doorway to you, too. Our 6 call teleseries intensive is tailored to create a comprehensive skill set that allows you to Create Connection in an authentic, natural way. We’ll teach, inspire, and tap with you to transform your love life… and empower you to share your heart with amazing people.

We invite you to join us and Create Connection that adds joy, warmth and delight to your life:

http://www.thrivingnow.com/creating-connection/

When people feel empowered around love, they have more to offer the world. The more generous, authentic, loving people there are, the more abundance we all have. You can create that for yourself, starting today! Let’s do some EFT Tapping together:

Karate Chop: Even though I don’t have all the love and warmth I want in my life, and I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, I am open to learning new approaches and finding my heart’s desire.

Even though I thought I was lacking something inside… and I have been lacking the connection I crave… what if  I can learn how to create this now?!

Even though I feared I would never find the love I wanted, and I kind of blocked out the longing deep in my core… I am ready to clear this block and acquire the skills to make a difference now!

Top of the Head: I guess I’d given up.
Eyebrow: But my heart kept hoping!
Side of the Eye: I do want love.
Under the Eye: I want connection.
Under the Nose: And I’ve been frozen around love.
Chin: I didn’t know how to move forward.
Collarbone: I didn’t know what to do.
Under the Arm: So I closed down and ignored it.

Top of the Head: My heart wants the warmth of love.
Eyebrow: My being craves that connection.
Side of the Eye: There must be a way.
Under the Eye: Other people have it!
Under the Nose: What’s wrong with me?!
Chin: Why don’t I have it?
Collarbone: Why does life feel a little dry?
Under the Arm: A little boring?

Top of the Head: What if there was never anything wrong with me?
Eyebrow: What if Creating Connection is a skill…
Side of the Eye: And I can learn it now?!
Under the Eye: I can have that warmth and connection.
Under the Nose: My life can be juicy and delicious.
Chin: I can open doorways to delightful, loving people.
Collarbone: I choose empowerment now.
Under the Arm: I allow my being to unfreeze…
Top of the Head:  And begin my sucessful quest for love!

Take a deep breath.

I’m delighted that Reid, Rick, and I are collaborating on this call series. We each bring a different, practical perspective. And our life’s missions overlap here beautifully. We each want to create more love and connection in the world, and empower people to unthaw and vitalize their hearts.

I invite you to join us on this journey. Because the message is so core to what we want to share, we’re offering it at a special low price.

Isn’t it time?!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/creating-connection/

With love,
Cathy

Do you want love? Do you daydream about finding someone you can create a loving, passionate relationship with? Or do you want to bring the spark back to your current connection?

The general view is you either instinctively know how to create relationships, or you don’t. There are the charismatic, attractive people… and the rest of us. Love either hits you over the head, or it doesn’t.

Most of us feel disempowered and lost when it comes to creating meaningful, loving relationships that make life juicy and delicious. After all, fates had to align for Snow White and her Prince–right?

Are you tired of waiting for your glass slipper to arrive, or your white horse to trot up and lead you to your dream partner? Or does your current relationship lack the spark and delight you believe in your heart is possible?

The truth is there are specific actions you can take, and specific skills you can develop, that will enable you to be POWERFUL in relationships.

Rick and Cathy are teaming up again with relationship expert Reid Mihalko to bring you the keys to turn your pumpkin into a sparkling white carriage! Our last collaboration with Reid resulted in people from 10 countries and all over the US finding new freedom to be themselves and relax and open up around people.

Now we’re taking it up a notch to help you Create Connection: Finding and Deepening Love, Passion, and Playfulness in Relationships

In this intensive course, we’ll:

- Guide you through the steps to creating pathways and a state of being that allows you to find people who authentically match with you, and

- Show you simple techniques that allow you to efficiently identify the people who are able to function well in loving relationships. (If you’re already in a relationship, these steps can help reawaken the reasons you were attracted in the first place).

Then we’ll guide you to deepen and strengthen the relationships in unexpected and heart opening ways. This isn’t about shallow cosmetic fixes. You get to create the depth, warmth, and passion you’ve always wanted!

Want to Learn More?

http://www.thrivingnow.com/creating-connection/

We hope you join us and start Creating Connections and transforming your world!

Wonder of the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be full of laughter and joy, aren’t they?

I remember the promise of a glittering tree, brightly wrapped packages, warm cookies baking. As children, we were willing to dream and enjoy the wonder-filled moments of the season.

As adults, we’ve been conditioned to put ourselves last. To check off the list and then maybe, if we aren’t too tired, and the house isn’t too messy, we get to relax.

When did we stop enjoying ourselves? When did we give up the pleasure of being?

Our lives become this rat race to the finish, and the person with the longest list wins…

We always say we’ll stop and regroup LATER. When things are less stressful. But later never comes. The moments and days of our lives pass, and we never take the time to do what really matters most to us.

What makes life delicious to you? Is it a warm hug? A sweet smile? A loving word?

Connection and enjoyment is what we’re all reaching for. Yet we’re so busy, we miss it! Who cares if the tree is decorated just so, or the cards are all mailed on time with a perfect flourish in the signature…

Where is the warmth and love in your holiday?

If you’re missing it, take a few minutes now to connect. If your mind instantly reminds you “there is no time!”, notice that, and gently set that aside. Our primitive brain can get caught up in the struggle, and in the process, never realize that what it wants most is right in front of it!

A lot of us learned to EARN love by doing. So we try harder and harder, get busier and busier, hoping someone will finally give us the love we’ve been searching for.

It may be time to learn some new skills ,too. If you’ve been so busy trying to be worthy of  love and connection, you may not have developed the skills to create it with ease and playfulness. You wouldn’t allow a 5-year-old to drive your car, so why would you use the same social skills you learned in Kindergarten to connect with other adults now!?

We put together the Breaking Out of Your Shell package to help you upgrade your ability to connect and find enjoyment and warmth to make your life more full of wonder.

And you can tap to open yourself up to a more joyful holiday season!

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to work hard to let in joy and love, I choose to allow the warmth of connection in right now.

Even though I thought everything had to be perfect before I could enjoy myself, I do want more joy… and I invite it into my life NOW.

Even though I’ve been trying so hard, and that actually shuts me down and makes me cold and distant, I choose to take a deep breath and enjoy my life right here and now.

Top of the Head: I have so much to do.
Eyebrow: I can’t slow down right now.
Side of the Eye: I’m too tired to be present.
Under the Eye: I really do want more love.
Under the Nose: But it will have to wait.
Chin: I am tired of waiting!
Collarbone: I’m tired of this stress.
Under the Arm: I’m ready for a new way of doing things!

Top of the Head: The warmth I want is right in front of me.
Eyebrow: The holidays can be different this year.
Side of the Eye: I choose an upgrade!
Under the Eye: I can connect with people in a new way.
Under the Nose: I can look people in the eyes.
Chin: I can be present, rather than lost in my lists.
Collarbone: I can enjoy how my body feels…
Under the Arm: Rather than lost in my mind.

Do you compare yourself to others? Who doesn’t! We’re conditioned by glossy magazines, advertising, fashion models, sports, and high pressure workplaces to compare ourselves to others… and to figure out where we stand on the Ladder of Status. The trap comes when our tribal brain sees someone who is better at something we value than we are. The subconscious then generalizes and may conclude: “Oh, she’s better at THAT… therefore she’s better than me.”

It’s hard to form mutual loving connection when you’re competing. Evaluating yourself compared to others creates tension. When we start to feel “less than” people around us, we want to HIDE. And when we are “forced” to be around others, we can feel uptight and vigilant.

If you want to break out of your shell and create real warmth and caring in your life, a new perspective can go a long way to transforming how you feel and how you walk in the world!

In the old paradigm, I have to be the prettiest, smartest, funniest, and most talented… and make the most money… to deserve any love or attention. I have to be at the top of the heap for everything, or I feel like crap.

A lot of us are taught that game as children. You could have just won the Nobel Prize and someone else makes everyone laugh… and you feel like you’re not good enough. We’re taught to look at life that way, as a competition, and it can get in the way of being close and loving.

In our emotional world, it is not really about who is the smartest, prettiest, or who has the quickest comeback. When you’re feeling down, or having a bad day, you’re looking for the person who has some compassion and kindness to spare. Change your Life Rules and you can walk as a “winner” just by being someone who notices other people and says “Hi” with a kind smile.

You don’t have to be funny. You don’t have to be gorgeous. You don’t have to this tall or this skinny or that… PERFECT. Sometimes just being kind is enough to connect and have the other person feel, “Oh my goodness, thank you so much.”

In a world where so many people are upset and not noticing each other, who doesn’t want a kind person around?

So many of us are caught up in our own stories, and evaluating ourselves and others, we’re not even present with each other. We’re not really there with our friends. Some EFT tapping and practice can change this pattern and create new and beautiful patterns in our lives!

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to be the best at everything to be worth anything, what if that was just a game I was playing and I don’t need to play it anymore.

Even though they all taught me to play this game, and I put so much energy into it… I was determined to win. But this game just causes stress… there’s always someone new who might be better at something else.

Even though I invested a lot of time into this game, I choose to find a better, more loving way to connect with people.

Top of the Head: What if I just accepted me for who I am?
Eyebrow: What if I decided that was good enough?
Side of the Eye: What if I could just be present with the people I’m with…
Under the Eye: And really enjoy them…
Under the Nose: Rather than competing with them all the time?
Chin: That might bring a deeper connection.
Collarbone: And that’s what I wanted all along anyway!
Under the Arm: I was trying to earn it by being the best.
Top of the Head: What if I could have it by being me?

Deep breath.

We’ve been talking a lot about Breaking Out of Your Shell. The truth is,  we’re all insecure in our own ways. Being ourselves is not the type of thing that we were taught back in seventh grade or when we were a wee tyke.

People that are angry, controlling and dominating… they’ve got their own stuff. For them to feel safe in their world, they have to control everything in their “egg,” and they try to make their egg as big as possible without it cracking all to pieces.

When everything’s a competition, there isn’t room for warm connection. When everything’s a competition, it’s hard to relax or remember that other people feel insecure and uncertain inside as well.

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I was the only one who felt uncertain, they sure pretend to be all secure and confident, maybe we’re all humans looking for connection?

Even though I can get caught up in the contest and winning, I will miss the love and warmth available in this moment by trying and trying and trying to be good enough to deserve it.

Even though they all look so certain… or at least that’s the way I see them from inside my shell… what if we’re all insecure in our own ways and I can reach out with new confidence now?

Top of the Head: What if we’re all insecure in our own ways?
Eyebrow: I thought it was just me!
Side of the Eye: It feels so lonely in my shell.
Under the Eye: But I do have positive attributes.
Under the Nose: I’m not exactly “rotten to my core.”
Chin: I can be surprisingly kind.
Collarbone: And there’s a caring bone in my body… maybe even two.
Under the Arm: I choose to love and accept myself a bit more right now.
Top of the Head: I’ve even decided to honor my OWN value.

Deep breath.

Did you find this helpful? Were any of the statements particularly powerful for you? We’d like to hear how.

Our mission is to help people transform their emotional world. We can live in a world of competition… for status, for money, for energy… even for love. That world does exist right here on earth.

There is also a world where people want to co-create. Where individuals and groups recognize the value in safety and respect… and freedom… and they invest heart and soul in cultivating these qualities. One such place is our Thriving Now Team. There are other tribes doing this across the world, too.

Making the transition from one set of Life Rules based on competition and perfectionism… to Life Freedom… well, for many of us it takes some practical exercises, lots of tapping on the fears that come up, and experienced guidance on how to open up while feeling safe and confident. If that sounds like what you are looking for, we’d recommend getting our Breaking Out of Your Shell program as a next step.

Warm smiles,
Cathy Vartuli, Rick Wilkes, and Reid Mihalko

You know you WANT connection, love, warmth, and laughter. But you’re not quite sure how to create it.

Embracing life and your loved ones is one of our basic needs. Most of us think we know how… yet we don’t have the fulfilled, loved feeling we want. We feel empty and anxious beneath the surface.

Most of us learned to hide inside a shell. It protected us when we were little. It saved us from judgment and shame and rejection. It was the best we knew how to do as children. But it’s not the best we can do NOW! That shell isolates us from connection now. It blocks our authentic being from shining through and attracting the very people we want to share our love with.

We can educate ourselves and take our connection and love to the next level. It doesn’t matter if you want to connect with friends, romantic partners, family, or find someone new… breaking out of your shell can bring a new level of vitality and deep warmth to your life.

Do you want another year to pass you by without the love and quiet connection you’ve been longing for?

Join us for 3 recorded calls (with additional bonuses) on Breaking Out of Your Shell, where we address strategies, tools, and new perspectives to let you break out and start a new way of engaging with people you love in a safe, empowered way. You can allow affection. You can feel safe, and you can start doing that now!

Because our mission is to help you connect and love more, we’re offering this series for only $37.

If you’re ready to create new connections and deepen the ones you have, listen to these powerful calls. Cathy Vartuli, Reid Mihalko, and Rick Wilkes guide you towards the love and warmth you want for your life.

People Are Talking About…
Breaking Out Of Your Shell

Wow ………….. I FINALLY got around to listening to call #1 of Breaking out of your shell. Thank you!!! I think I should listen more than once, and I can’t wait for the other calls, as well. The kicker is … I have been a personal growth junkie for 23 years!! and I still really needed this.

As I reemerge and am finally ready to shed my patterns of isolation and people rejecting me, this teleconference is exactly what I need. Thank you. –Laura

~~~~~~~~~~~

I just took part in the “Breaking Out of Your Shell’ series and things are changing pretty fast! I feel so relaxed and peaceful when I’m around other people, a feeling I never had before! Everyone I meet looks sooo nice. I now attract people who are kind and loving. It still feels strange, but hey, I’m happy.

I feel love and appreciation for everyone I meet, even for the people I had conflicts with. Why bother if they don’t like me. I like myself, well that’s the most important thing.

I now have something they can never take away from me. My own truth, I’m worthy and valuable just like anyone else. I’m a light, I’m love, I’m good. Thank you! I feel so blessed!

My life is changing now. Negativity just leaves. And yes, new conflicts are coming up, now that I know how to stand up for myself, but I’m proud of myself and of my achievements. Life is getting better more and more every day. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re doing incredible work!! Many blessings, Tania, Belgium

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Wow this call hit on so many topics for me. I’m feeling peaceful now that I tapped a bunch and had some tea, but during i was so uncomfortable that I noticed I was hugging my knees to my chest with my hands clenched tight. Tap, tap, tap. My boyfriend teases me and calls it my egg position, so it’s kinda funny when Reid makes analogies about breaking out of your shell. It really is true!

I’m also a little overwhelmed but this is a good overwhelm (never thought I’d say that) because rejection WAS such a heavy, black, frozen topic for me. I can feel it melting and i can see a little light too. I’m still processing all the info but I wanted to say thank you so much for providing these calls. They mean a lot to me and this one especially answered so many of my questions and transformed a lot of walls into doors. Thanks so much, Gina

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I used to feel terrible, ashamed and guilty about everything I was feeling. I felt I was making everything up. Now I know that all my feelings DO exist, that there are reasons for them and that I have the right to feel them and honor them. That gives me a sense of peace with myself.

My life is changing so much and much more rapidly that I ever thought possible. –Dayan

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Breaking out of my shell seemed intriguing, but the title of the three recordings made me hesitate – they each triggered some anxiety in me. It turned out I had no reason to worry: I felt safe in the hands of Rick and Cathy and enjoyed the dynamic of Reid. I learned a lot on how to operationalize the different concepts, released some issues with the tapping and am still using the tools to break further out of my shell – enjoying the process at the same time! –Simone, Sweden

Here is an EFT Tapping to help you get started right now.

Karate Chop: Even though I’ve been feeling alone, and I didn’t know how to change that, I’m open to finding a new way of connecting and interacting with people.

Even though I thought I had to be pretty or handsome or strong or different somehow, what if I can connect with people just as I am?

Even though I thought I had to learn how to fake it, maybe I could just be me, and have people love me!

Top of the Head: I’ve been lonely.
Eyebrow: I thought there was something wrong with me.
Side of the Eye: I thought I had to be different.
Under the Eye: I thought if I looked better, they would want me.
Under the Nose: What if the right people have been wanting me all along?
Chin: And they just couldn’t see me behind my shell?
Collarbone: What if the warmth I long for is on the other side?
Under the Arm: What if it’s surprisingly simple!

Top of the Head: I just didn’t know how.
Eyebrow: No one taught me the skills.
Side of the Eye: They didn’t know how either!
Under the Eye: I’ve been hiding in my shell…
Under the Nose: From the very thing I’ve been longing for.
Chin: I want loving connection.
Collarbone: I want deep intimacy.
Under the Arm: And I didn’t know how to create it.

Top of the Head: I choose to venture out of my shell now.
Eyebrow: I choose to connect with people in new, powerful ways.
Side of the Eye: I get to have safe, healthy boundaries…
Under the Eye: But I don’t need to hide.
Under the Nose: I get to say no…
Chin: So I don’t have to pretend.
Collarbone: What if I can just be me…
Under the Arm: And get the love I long for?
Top of the Head: And share the love that is in my heart.

Take a deep breath.

It wasn’t safe for many of us to be vulnerable. We learned to protect ourselves. And yet that very protection may not be needed now AND may be blocking what we want most.

As children we didn’t have power. We often weren’t taught how to connect deeply and authentically. And we can put aside those old protective mechanisms that no longer work… and find new connection. You probably don’t walk around with a binkie or a pacifier anymore, but some of your “rules” are probably just as outdated.

Join us with these recordings as we teach you how to safely and gently put aside your childhood shields away so you can connect as a powerful, loving adult! Most of us learned to hide inside a shell. It protected us when we were little. It saved us from judgment and shame and rejection.

It was the best we knew how to do as children. But it’s not the best we can do NOW! And that shell protects and isolates us from connection now. It blocks our authentic being from shining through and attracting the very people we want to share with.

How many of us have been at a party and felt out of place?

It’s easy to pretend that next time it will be better. Next time you’ll have the perfect costume, be 10lbs slimmer, have the joke ready at hand. We all dream that the next time we won’t feel alone and scared.

The truth is, the main problem is the mental blocks and decisions made long ago. They hold us back and stop us from connecting or feeling relaxed and open.

If we have a fundamental belief that we don’t fit in, our subconscious will seek to make that true… no matter how many jokes we know, how great our outfit, or how slender we are. In fact, our subconscious will sabotage our efforts to get the things we say we want. (If you decide you can’t date until you lose those last 20lbs, and you are also afraid of dating, those last 20 lbs will stick like glue!)

Very few of us were taught how to connect with people. We learned the best we could from those around us. We may have read some books on etiquette, but that doesn’t tell you how to be close to others, just which fork to use.

The people we watched and learned from were as lost as we are. They learned to pretend and act while they felt alone and scared. To go home exhausted… dreaming that the next time they would have it all together and it would feel natural and easy…Like they belonged.

If you’re tired of trying to fit yourself in the plastic mold you thought you needed to be… if you want to be yourself and have the skills to do that with confidence… if you want some skills to help others open up and be themselves so you have a natural, warm connection…it’s time to Break Out Of Your Shell!

There are some specific techniques and skills you can learn that will help you feel more at ease. Along with tapping to change the fundamental beliefs, we need concepts and new ways of looking at connection. This new understanding can help us feel safe and grounded even as we reach out, and comfortably accept attention from others.

If you’d like to learn these skills, we’re offering a coaching program called Breaking Out of Your Shell where we address strategies, tools, new perspectives and to let you break out and start a new way of engaging with people you love in a safe, empowered way.

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Let’s do some EFT Tapping to help you feel more like you belong now.

Karate Chop: Even though I feel so alone and out of place, what if I do belong…and it’s just some beliefs in my head that keep me stuck?

Even though I feel scared and uncertain, and I dreamed of being FIXED… what if I am okay, and I just need to change my perspective and learn some new skills.

Even though I thought I had to be different to fit in, maybe I can fit in just as I am, and I can tap to release these old beliefs and rules I created long ago.

Top of the Head: I do feel alone sometimes.
Eyebrow: I never show people who I really am.
Side of the Eye: I keep trying to pretend to be what they want.
Under the Eye: And I have no idea what that is.
Under the Nose: I keep twisting myself up in knots.
Chin: I feel stuck and afraid.
Collarbone: I feel like I’ll never fit in.
Under the Arm: And that makes me so sad.

Top of the Head: What if that plastic person I pretend to be doesn’t fit?
Eyebrow: What if the real me does?
Side of the Eye: It takes a lot of effort to pretend.
Under the Eye: I would love to be accepted for who I am.
Under the Nose: I don’t want to pretend anymore.
Chin: What if I can learn these skills?
Collarbone: I’ve always dreamed of fitting in.
Under the Arm: I dreamed of laughing naturally and easily.

Top of the Head: What if I don’t have to try harder.
Eyebrow: I get to try something different!
Side of the Eye: I get to be me.
Under the Eye: And there are ways to make that feel safer and easier.
Under the Nose: I can learn them.
Chin: I can tap and relax.
Collarbone: I can feel safe.
Under the Arm: I can have a sense of belonging.
Top of the Head: Just like I always dreamed of!

Take a deep breath.

Notice what’s in your heart. Some of us have decided “we didn’t want it anyway” when we didn’t get what we wanted time and time again.

Our hearts don’t lie. Listen to the quiet request to belong to yourself, to accept yourself, and then let that self shine out and attract others who get you. If you want to feel confident connection in a new way, keep tapping and showing up. And learn relationship and self-management skills that you may have missed as a child.

If you want to change how you feel at your next party, Break Out of Your Shell today!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/breaking-out-of-shell/

by Rick Wilkes, Emotional Freedom Coach

Thousands of people rejected me… and that was just in the past week! I put my heart and soul into what I put out into the world, what Cathy and I publish on our website, into what we offer to you — our newsletter readers and web visitors. Millions of people have viewed the Thriving Now website. And every single week, week after week, thousands and THOUSANDS of people reject me… They say NO.

We are grateful and delighted with all the responses we get from the people who look forward to our email… who say “God, this arrived at just the right time and made a big difference in my life!” We have wonderful readers on our lists, and clients who find our products perfect for them.

But not everyone has time to read… They say NOT NOW. And we do get responses from people who find EFT or our approach outside their comfort level.. They say, YOU’RE TOO WEIRD! They act as if I have nothing whatsoever to offer them. Some insist I’m too expensive. Others believe I’m too cheap to actually be worth anything. I generously give energy only to never hear from them again. Or they mark my emails as SPAM! Can you imagine??!?!

They reject me. And that’s okay. The world is abundant, and each person gets to select the avenue that feels right for them. Selection and rejection allow us to filter and find the best matches for us and them.

Of course, a part of my brain doesn’t think rejection is EVER okay. It remembers a time long, long ago when… for my ancestors… being rejected meant… starvation, coldness, lack. Rejection by an influential person in your birth tribe was unsafe.

The concept that you can be rejected by thousands, every week, and still be THRIVING… The primitive brain does NOT get that. Can you feel it? Just the word rejection evokes a sense of fear in our gut.

Yet, the world today gives us opportunities to connect, love, and mutually appreciate people literally half a world away. That means that our more primitive perceptions haven’t yet evolved to reflect our true freedom and abundance. There is no way for us to interact with all of those people, or them with us… we need to be selective! The good news is that we can consciously choose to help ourselves.

We can intentionally TRANSFORM our emotional responses… including our response to rejection.

And that’s my mission. To help people transform their emotional world so they can live, laugh, and love with confidence. What that means to me is being able to break out of the shell that our Old World Beliefs keep us trapped in.

Let’s take handling rejection. After we quiet the emotional noise, after we’ve used EFT Tapping to clear the old traumas where we felt rejected, what evolves is a new perspective. It is a perspective that sees people’s choices as worth celebrating. Those who say NO leave room for those who feel YES! Don’t they?

It is a new perspective that honors that we all have preferences and choices of our own. As we say YES to this, are indeed saying NO to that and that and that and a million other things, too. That’s good! It’s the foundation of freedom…

Yet, as I coach people about their most awkward situations, they often boil down to a feeling of guilt in saying NO to others… and a feeling that we’re “unworthy” or “not good enough” and “unwanted” when others say NO to us. What an icky way to live.

That is why we’re focusing on feeling at peace giving and receiving NO’s… so we can explore the limitless edges of YES… with confidence and emotional resilience.

Can you imagine how good that can feel? To know… from head to toe… in your heart and in your gut… rejection is a wholesome and healthy part of life in today’s world.

Indeed, I’ve come up with a new expression to describe it: Divine Filtering

We hope you find the ideas intriguing. Even more, we hope you can put them to PRACTICAL use in your life, to help restructure your reactions to others so you feel strong, steady, and able to engage with life with authentic confidence.

Cathy and I were joined by relationship coach Reid Mihalko as we explored these topics with a growing tribe of people who WANT to break out of their shell… NOW. The calls were recorded and are available NOW. If this feels like a YES to you, you can sign up at the link below.

http://www.thrivingnow.com/breaking-out-of-shell/

And to the thousands and thousands of you who won’t read this, or won’t read this far, or won’t feel it is a YES for you right now, it’s cool… I deeply and completely accept you anyway. <wink>

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Here is some EFT Tapping to help you get started shifting your reaction about rejection right now.

Karate Chop: Even though they rejected me, I choose to feel surprisingly calm and confident anyway.

Even though I felt rejected back then, I am starting to see how that opens up new possibilities for me NOW.

Even though they rejected me, and that hurts, I am in the process of being okay with “NO”… while being pleasingly focused on MY YES.

Top of the Head: They rejected me.
Eyebrow: That hurt.
Side of the Eye: They rejected me.
Under the Eye: That definitely hurt.
Under the Nose: The story I told myself about their rejection… definitely hurt.
Chin: I thought I had to fix myself.
Collarbone: Don’t I have to MAKE myself likable to them… to EVERYONE?
Under the Arm: What if I don’t?

Top of the Head: Maybe they are not my true tribe…
Eyebrow: But I want to feel accepted by them!
Side of the Eye: What if it’s okay to be rejected?
Under the Eye: It’s okay to filter out others who don’t fit with me.
Under the Nose: It’s okay for us not to be a match.
Chin: Part of me still thinks I HAVE TO fit in with everyone.
Collarbone: What if that isn’t true?
Under the Arm: I don’t really WANT to fit in with everyone!

Top of the Head: I choose to know what’s right for ME.
Eyebrow: And honor that I am not right for everyone…
Side of the Eye: Nor is everyone right for me.
Under the Eye: Rejection is starting to look… okay…
Under the Nose: In a world with billions of choices!
Chin: Selection and filtering are useful and healthy.
Collarbone: I appreciate those that share my life.
Under the Arm: And I have decided to honor and respect…
Top of the Head: Those who make other choices… For I LOVE Freedom!

Take a deep breath.

Join us and break out of your shell today!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/breaking-out-of-shell/

By Cathy Vartuli, Emotional Freedom Coach

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. ~ C.S. Lewis

Most of us crave more affection. We want to feel loved and cared about. And we want to share more affection with others… but we don’t know if it’s safe or what the other person will accept.

It can be confusing, too. If I hold your hand, am I making a commitment of some kind? Does it mean I always have to hold your hand? Or only hold your hand and no one else’s?

Unless we have clear boundaries, reaching out or receiving affection can be frightening. Rather than learning the skills (and there are specific skills and mindsets you can create to make this easier) to say no, most of us run around in self-contained bubbles, isolating ourselves to protect us from the slippery slope of desperation.

It is desperation in a way. Most of us are in our bubbles, starving for affection. So when we get any, we don’t stop and question it. We don’t decide consciously whether to go forward… we get sucked in out of hunger. If we haven’t been out on a date in months (or longer…) and someone that seems presentable is interested, we go out with him. And if he holds our hand and it feels good, we can easily find ourselves sliding downward into relationship, without ever choosing to be there. In this scenario, we have to decide on whether we want a deep commitment before we hold hands, because we don’t know how to get out other than running away.

If we learn the skills to have a NO… a healthy, self-honoring, compassionate NO… we can allow affection more easily. We can come out of our bubble, and be more open to kind words, gentle touch (from friends and partners), and feel nourished and loved. We aren’t starving when that cute guy asks us out, so we can approach with more confidence and clarity. We can say no if he isn’t a good match, or move forward step-by-step without worrying about the boundary-less slide. We can hold hands if it feels right, without needing to be committed to sleeping with him or marriage or anything else.

If you’d like to learn these skills and release your blocks to saying No, so you can have more affection in your life (and create the happiness you want), we’re offering a coaching series called Breaking Out of Your Shell where we address strategies, tools, new perspectives and to let you break out and start a new way of engaging with people you love in a safe, empowered way. You can allow affection. You can feel safe. And you can start doing that now!

If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to pass along the gift of this empowered way of being. Thank you!

To learn more, visit:

http://www.thrivingnow.com/breaking-out-of-shell/

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Here is some EFT Tapping to help you get started right now.

Karate Chop: Even though I don’t feel safe saying “no”, I do want more affection and clarity in my life, and I’m open to learning new skills that will help with that.

Even though I thought saying no would push them away, not bring me more love, the way I’ve been doing it hasn’t worked very well, and I want new techniques and insights.

Even though I thought it was out of my control, I enjoy feeling powerful and I want to own my own “no” and feel safe allowing affection in my life.

Top of the Head: I want more love.
Eyebrow: I want to feel cherished.
Side of the Eye: Could a “no” really help with that?
Under the Eye: I do want to feel empowered.
Under the Nose: I do want to feel safe.
Chin: If I could have a strong no, would that allow me to open up?
Collarbone: It would help me feel safer.
Under the Arm: It would make me more confident.

Top of the Head: Insecure isn’t sexy.
Eyebrow: I do want confidence!
Side of the Eye: I can’t buy a “no” at Target,
Under the Eye: And I really want one!
Under the Nose: But I can develop one inside me now.
Chin: I choose to learn these skills.
Collarbone: I choose to reclaim my power.
Under the Arm: I lost my “no” long ago.

Top of the Head: And it’s time to get it back!
Eyebrow: I can learn how to say no,
Side of the Eye: I can decide what I want…
Under the Eye: That would be a new way of doing things.
Under the Nose: I bet I would attract all kinds of new things with my new vibration.
Chin: I could create a world where I get affection easily.
Collarbone: Where I feel loved and cherished.
Under the Arm: And I could freely share the love that’s in my heart.
Top of the Head: That would feel delicious!

Take a deep breath.

How safe does it feel to say “no” now? What expectations do you have if you say no?

Join us for this coaching series as we share with you how to have a powerful “no”, so you can connect as a powerful, loving adult! Break Out of Your Shell today!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/breaking-out-of-shell/

My best friend just had a bad experience. She’s okay, but it was frightening, and I was pretty worried about her, too. I know she’s stressed, but when I was offering support, she snapped at me! I do understand, but I don’t like being treated that way, either. How do you balance boundaries with compassion? — Beverly

It is hard–you’re dealing with your own fear and worry. And you’re trying to support her at the same time.

Can you let her be angry without taking it personally? We know that’s not always easy. People who are frightened and feeling powerless often lash out. It doesn’t make them right. It just makes them feel a bit better for a few moments. She may also feel ashamed and be blaming herself for whatever happened (people do that, even if they did nothing wrong). AND she may be trying to protect you by bottling up her feelings…only to have them squirt out sideways.

You can’t know for sure what she’s feeling, but realizing where she might be coming from sometimes gives us space to look at the situation more clearly. It might be helpful to see if this is a pattern that needs dealing with, or a one time event. Does she have a habit of snapping at you when she’s stressed? If so, talking to her when she’s in a good place may help you get clarity. She may not be aware of the pattern, or your offer of  help may be triggering some old fears about not being strong enough. An open and honest conversation can be healing for both of you. It often deepens friendships when we share what’s really going on, rather than being polite and “protecting” the other person.

There isn’t an absolute right or wrong here. You get to decide what feels healthy, loving, and empowered for YOU. And you can accept yourself right where you are, whatever she says…

Here is some tapping (EFT) that might help. Let us know how you feel afterwards in the comments below.

Karate Chop: Even though she snapped, and just when I was being especially caring and supportive, I’m ok and I can accept me and know she’s struggling, too.

Even though she wasn’t appreciative, or even nice, and that kind of crossed a boundary for me, I am ok, here and now, and I can let some of this mind chatter go.

Even though I’m trying to decide if I did the right thing or not, and how I could help, (I thought I was being so careful!), this may have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her own mental stories.

Top of the Head: She snapped at me!
Eyebrow: She isn’t telling me the details.
Side of the Eye: I want to give her space.
Under the Eye: And I want to be supportive.
Under the Nose: I want to be understanding.
Chin: And I want to have my own boundaries…
Collarbone: Meet my own needs.
Under the Arm: This conflict is messing me up!Top of the Head: How do I find balance?
Eyebrow: I keep trying to think it through.
Side of the Eye: Figure it out.
Under the Eye: Decide what’s right.
Under the Nose: What if there isn’t a particular right or wrong?
Chin: I can listen to my guidance…
Collarbone: And my body…
Under the Arm: And be in the present moment.

Top of the Head: I’m trying to figure out the past.
Eyebrow: Was I right or wrong?
Side of the Eye: Good or bad?
Under the Eye: I’m trying to decide on the future.
Under the Nose: Do I set a boundary…
Chin: Or be compassionate?
Collarbone: What if I could be in the present…
Under the Arm: And stop twisting myself up in knots?
Top of the Head: I am ok, and I bet “we” will be, too.

Take a deep breath.

We tend to look at things like this as black and white. But you can be compassionate and have boundaries. Imagine saying something like “Sweetheart, I know you’re upset and I want to give you support and space to work through this, but I don’t want to be snapped at. Please don’t take your anger out on me.” How does that feel?

A lot of us were taught to hide what we’re feeling because we’re ashamed or fear it might be used against us. But there is power in speaking the truth. You might encourage her to use her words–to say “I am angry and I feel scared” rather than acting it out on those closest to her–if you feel that’s helpful. And you can model that for her in the future if you want.

Sharing emotions honestly can be really healing. So often we hide them to “protect” those around us, and they end up coming out sideways and hurting the very people we wanted to shield. Learning to have boundaries and be compassionate at the same time can be challenging, but this skill can make you a master at friendship, parenting and relationships!

If you want to learn more about boundaries, and feeling safe enough to share your feelings, our Free Yourself Program is a great choice. We’d love to help you transform your relationships, too!