If you’re interested in The Secret To… Your Powerful, Confident YES!! …Rick will be speaking with 24 other experts in the field of energy healing starting this Tuesday, January 31st (Rick’s talk on this specific subject is February 10th). Learn from all the experts in this free series by signing up today!

Your Vibrant Health Secrets Telesummit:
An online event of powerful healing and transformation

http://www.thrivingnow.com/yourvibranthealth

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The Secret To…Your Powerful, Confident YES!!

Imagine for a moment that you’re given your dream car. It is the right color, the right size, the right ZIP, the right gas mileage… even the right smell! The road to your desires stretches out before you.

What if… there is only one little problem.
What if… the dream car has no brakes?!?

If you are sane… if some measure of safety is as important to you as freedom… you will leave that dream car in the garage until you can get brakes installed.

And frankly, more people are held back by lack of a practical and strong ability to say NO than they are by things like “fear of failure.”

If you get the money you desire, can you say NO to people who want to take advantage of you?

If you are attracted to someone, and you’re having a great time together, can you say NO (or not yet!) if they want to move things along too fast?

If you start getting famous, can you say NO to the ventures and requests that don’t help you with your dreams and goals?

We’re CONDITIONED to say ‘sure… okay… fine…’
Even when it doesn’t FEEL like a YES from head to toe.

If you’ve ever said yes when your body was screaming NO, you know what a toll it takes. If you do this every day… if you often feel like you’re forced, trapped, and obligated to consent when your heart and gut say otherwise, then isn’t it time you…

Are you ready to find your brakes… so you can drive through life with power, confidence, and CONTROL?

We can tell you from personal experience that once you have an empowered NO, your YES becomes vastly more confident, clear, and enjoyable. Your friends start to realize that you know what you like, that they can trust your no and yes, and that you can take into account their likes, too… as you look for a mutual YES-YES. (I know I feel safer riding in a friend’s car that has brakes! Your friends and loved ones will feel the difference as you develop new skill and grace with your boundaries, too.)

Let’s do some EFT Tapping together:

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to be able to drive REALLY fast, so I could get there…I might feel safer and more confident if I was sure I had good brakes.

Even though I’ve been frustrated that I haven’t been moving forward, what if my subconscious is nervous and is slowing things down? If I made sure I had a great NO, it might be willing to help me rather than tripping me up!

Even though I thought it was all about the YES, what if my YES is more powerful when I also have an empowered NO?

Top of the Head: I want to say yes.
Eyebrow: I want abundance and love.
Side of the Eye: I thought I needed to focus on my YES.
Under the Eye: I didn’t pay attention to having a matching NO.
Under the Nose: Without brakes, I don’t feel safe.
Chin: Without a NO, it’s hard for me to feel confident.
Collarbone: What if I spent some time…
Under the Arm: And checked out my NO?

Top of the Head: I do want abundance…
Eyebrow: And I want to choose what I do with it.
Side of the Eye: I want people to love…
Under the Eye: And I want to choose when and how.
Under the Nose: I do want to allow abundance of all kinds…
Chin: Having a NO makes it easier.
Collarbone: I could certainly use some ease!
Under the Arm: I would love some safety, too!

Top of the Head: Maybe it’s time to move forward in a new way.
Eyebrow: Maybe it’s time to feel my confidence grow.
Side of the Eye: I’d love to feel calm and grounded…
Under the Eye: Even as I get my heart’s desires.
Under the Nose: I can learn to have a powerful No.
Chin: So I can have a powerful Yes.
Collarbone: I can learn to move forward with ease…
Under the Arm: Knowing I can direct my flow…
Top of the Head: And choose which way I go.

Take a deep breath.

If you’d like to explore this further, listen to Rick’s call on the free teleseries (like below) and also drop us an email at support@thrivingnow.com – We look forward to hearing your thoughts and questions!

http://www.thrivingnow.com/yourvibranthealth

Wonder of the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be full of laughter and joy, aren’t they?

I remember the promise of a glittering tree, brightly wrapped packages, warm cookies baking. As children, we were willing to dream and enjoy the wonder-filled moments of the season.

As adults, we’ve been conditioned to put ourselves last. To check off the list and then maybe, if we aren’t too tired, and the house isn’t too messy, we get to relax.

When did we stop enjoying ourselves? When did we give up the pleasure of being?

Our lives become this rat race to the finish, and the person with the longest list wins…

We always say we’ll stop and regroup LATER. When things are less stressful. But later never comes. The moments and days of our lives pass, and we never take the time to do what really matters most to us.

What makes life delicious to you? Is it a warm hug? A sweet smile? A loving word?

Connection and enjoyment is what we’re all reaching for. Yet we’re so busy, we miss it! Who cares if the tree is decorated just so, or the cards are all mailed on time with a perfect flourish in the signature…

Where is the warmth and love in your holiday?

If you’re missing it, take a few minutes now to connect. If your mind instantly reminds you “there is no time!”, notice that, and gently set that aside. Our primitive brain can get caught up in the struggle, and in the process, never realize that what it wants most is right in front of it!

A lot of us learned to EARN love by doing. So we try harder and harder, get busier and busier, hoping someone will finally give us the love we’ve been searching for.

It may be time to learn some new skills ,too. If you’ve been so busy trying to be worthy of  love and connection, you may not have developed the skills to create it with ease and playfulness. You wouldn’t allow a 5-year-old to drive your car, so why would you use the same social skills you learned in Kindergarten to connect with other adults now!?

We put together the Breaking Out of Your Shell package to help you upgrade your ability to connect and find enjoyment and warmth to make your life more full of wonder.

And you can tap to open yourself up to a more joyful holiday season!

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to work hard to let in joy and love, I choose to allow the warmth of connection in right now.

Even though I thought everything had to be perfect before I could enjoy myself, I do want more joy… and I invite it into my life NOW.

Even though I’ve been trying so hard, and that actually shuts me down and makes me cold and distant, I choose to take a deep breath and enjoy my life right here and now.

Top of the Head: I have so much to do.
Eyebrow: I can’t slow down right now.
Side of the Eye: I’m too tired to be present.
Under the Eye: I really do want more love.
Under the Nose: But it will have to wait.
Chin: I am tired of waiting!
Collarbone: I’m tired of this stress.
Under the Arm: I’m ready for a new way of doing things!

Top of the Head: The warmth I want is right in front of me.
Eyebrow: The holidays can be different this year.
Side of the Eye: I choose an upgrade!
Under the Eye: I can connect with people in a new way.
Under the Nose: I can look people in the eyes.
Chin: I can be present, rather than lost in my lists.
Collarbone: I can enjoy how my body feels…
Under the Arm: Rather than lost in my mind.

I was wondering if you could help me. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed about my weight. I don’t like going out. I have over 100 lbs to lose. My husband loves to share his humiliation about how I look. For a long time, I believed all the negative and hurtful things he said about me and other “fat people”. Now I want to love and accept myself just as I am. I have started eating better, but all the negative talk in my head and my home makes it hard to value me. — Michelle

We’re sorry your husband shares his “humiliation” about your weight. It is common for people to pick a “scape goat” and blame everything that’s wrong with their lives on that aspect of themselves or someone close to them. A lot of people believe that everything would be perfect if they were at their perfect weight.

Have you ever called your husband on this? Asked him to stop? Sometimes we don’t even realize what we’re doing!  Does he tap at all? Have you tapped on your self-blame and your own attitudes toward “fat” people?

Our society often insists that weight is bad, evil, lazy, slovenly, ugly… just down right unacceptable. Some people treat it like leprosy. Weight is the current, socially acceptable prejudice.

It’s wonderful when our bodies are healthy, vital, and fit. It feels good to be strong and flexible and able to move easily. But our culture attaches all kinds of judgements on those who carry extra fat cells. When we’ve internalized that blame and shame, the stress and feelings of being unacceptable can actually hold the weight in place. And having it reinforced by someone we love can hurt!

Think of it like this. Our primitive brains (the part that has first control over many of the hormones and other chemicals that allow our bodies to function) evolved when there were two main threats to life:

1) Something might eat you. This threat required you be able to move as quickly as you could to run away. Fit, slender people tend to have an advantage here. At least you could outrun some of your friends! <wink>

2) Starvation. Big threat back then. This required that your body conserve every ounce of energy it could. It meant reducing your activity to the minimum possible (no fidgeting, no pacing, or casual walks). It meant consuming the most calories possible, as much as possible as quickly as possible. The plump people had a better chance of surviving the famine.

Our primitive brain tries to balance the two threats. It can and does control the inclination to be sedentary or active, to eat high calorie foods or less food. It can make the idea of working out or moving seem very heavy or impossible, or it can make it seem like if you sit still another minute, you’ll go crazy.

If you were constantly threatened by wild animals, but there was consistently plenty to eat, your primitive brain would opt for lots of activity and not much stored energy (fat).

If there was constant threat of famine, but few wild animals or enemy tribes, it will want to store as much reserve as possible.

In our modern society, there is often a LOT of stress. Including judgement, blame, and humiliation from those around us and within our own minds. Many of us are overwhelmed and exhausted. We don’t feel safe and calm much of the time. Add to that the stored traumas and pain many of us carry, and the feeling of unsafety is quite strong… at least at a subconscious level.

Our primitive brain sees the stress and tries to decide is this a) a physical threat I need to run from or b) a starvation threat I need to conserve energy for. Since we’re not running around or being attacked, it tends to opt for choice b… and it helps us get fat

Your brain is doing it’s best to love you and protect you. Because it thinks there’s a threat, it slows your metabolism. It tries to get you to sleep and rest more so you burn fewer calories. It makes us crave the richest foods we can find (Ever binge on lettuce and celery when you were stressed? Most people reach for carbs and fats and sugars instead!). And your brain sends chemicals to your body, telling it to store as much of that energy as fat as it can.

When we resent the weight and pile on judgement and humiliation and blame, we feel even more stressed. We feel less safe and more overwhelmed. And we wonder why it’s hard to release extra weight and be more fit and slender!

The first thing we do with people who want to be more slender is tap on the resentment and blame they feel towards themselves. If we can start seeing the weight as a safety mechanism rather than a large, visible sign of our own inadequacy, we reduce the stress we feel. As we start appreciating some things about ourselves, we feel lighter. And that acceptance and love open the door to more movement and more loving choices about what we eat… without the need to FIGHT our primitive brain the whole way.

In this tapping script, we’ve purposely included some strong statements. Even if you don’t agree with them completely, it may help to say them. Exaggerated statements can help bring clarity (our brain says, “no, not that but ____”) and they may help you find some subconscious beliefs that are very strong that you might miss otherwise. Tapping helps us find the truth.

Karate Chop: Even though they say fat is bad, and my spouse agrees… in fact I often agree, too… I’m open to seeing my body in a different, more loving way.

Even though I’m afraid to see this extra weight in anything but the worst light, I might gain more… I am so tired of feeling ashamed and unacceptable… and I would like to love myself more.

Even though I think this extra weight is to blame for all my insecurities and pain, it might actually be there to help me feel safe. I can tap on the causes of the hurt I feel, and try thanking and appreciating my body instead. I bet that would help me feel safer and more loved.

Top of the Head: Fat is BAD.
Eyebrow: Fat people are lazy…
Side of the Eye: And shameful.
Under the Eye: They should never leave the house.
Under the Nose: I am so ashamed of my fat.
Chin: I think it shows the world how insecure I feel.
Collarbone: How unacceptable I am.
Under the Arm: I blame my weight for all the pain I feel.

Top of the Head: I’ve felt like my body is fighting me.
Eyebrow: Trying to punish me.
Side of the Eye: I’ve been calling it all kinds of bad names.
Under the Eye: My partner has, too.
Under the Nose: Why do I put up with that?
Chin: Why don’t I tell him to shut up?
Collarbone: What if I started telling myself a new story?
Under the Arm: What if I worked with my body instead of fighting it?

Top of the Head: He is ashamed of me.
Eyebrow: That’s his business.
Side of the Eye: I am ashamed of me.
Under the Eye: That’s MY business.
Under the Nose: I thought my body was bad.
Chin: It felt like it was trying to hurt me.
Collarbone: What if it’s just trying to protect me the best way it knows how?
Under the Arm: I could try tapping WITH it…
Top of the Head: Appreciating it, and finding a new way to work WITH it now.

Take a deep breath.

How does this feel to your body? Does it like the idea of working with you rather than being forced to behave?

The primitive brain is one part of the picture. There may be strong limiting beliefs stored in the thinking brain as well from traumas or learned from parents among other things. For instance, your subconscious may have decided that being overweight was a great way to protect yourself from situations that are frightening. Tapping on those limiting beliefs is a great way to get your whole being in alignment with being slender and fit.

In our Group Coaching Program we deal with these issues all the time. We even have a body image study group. If it sounds like a good fit to you, you’d be welcome.

My best friend just had a bad experience. She’s okay, but it was frightening, and I was pretty worried about her, too. I know she’s stressed, but when I was offering support, she snapped at me! I do understand, but I don’t like being treated that way, either. How do you balance boundaries with compassion? — Beverly

It is hard–you’re dealing with your own fear and worry. And you’re trying to support her at the same time.

Can you let her be angry without taking it personally? We know that’s not always easy. People who are frightened and feeling powerless often lash out. It doesn’t make them right. It just makes them feel a bit better for a few moments. She may also feel ashamed and be blaming herself for whatever happened (people do that, even if they did nothing wrong). AND she may be trying to protect you by bottling up her feelings…only to have them squirt out sideways.

You can’t know for sure what she’s feeling, but realizing where she might be coming from sometimes gives us space to look at the situation more clearly. It might be helpful to see if this is a pattern that needs dealing with, or a one time event. Does she have a habit of snapping at you when she’s stressed? If so, talking to her when she’s in a good place may help you get clarity. She may not be aware of the pattern, or your offer of  help may be triggering some old fears about not being strong enough. An open and honest conversation can be healing for both of you. It often deepens friendships when we share what’s really going on, rather than being polite and “protecting” the other person.

There isn’t an absolute right or wrong here. You get to decide what feels healthy, loving, and empowered for YOU. And you can accept yourself right where you are, whatever she says…

Here is some tapping (EFT) that might help. Let us know how you feel afterwards in the comments below.

Karate Chop: Even though she snapped, and just when I was being especially caring and supportive, I’m ok and I can accept me and know she’s struggling, too.

Even though she wasn’t appreciative, or even nice, and that kind of crossed a boundary for me, I am ok, here and now, and I can let some of this mind chatter go.

Even though I’m trying to decide if I did the right thing or not, and how I could help, (I thought I was being so careful!), this may have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her own mental stories.

Top of the Head: She snapped at me!
Eyebrow: She isn’t telling me the details.
Side of the Eye: I want to give her space.
Under the Eye: And I want to be supportive.
Under the Nose: I want to be understanding.
Chin: And I want to have my own boundaries…
Collarbone: Meet my own needs.
Under the Arm: This conflict is messing me up!Top of the Head: How do I find balance?
Eyebrow: I keep trying to think it through.
Side of the Eye: Figure it out.
Under the Eye: Decide what’s right.
Under the Nose: What if there isn’t a particular right or wrong?
Chin: I can listen to my guidance…
Collarbone: And my body…
Under the Arm: And be in the present moment.

Top of the Head: I’m trying to figure out the past.
Eyebrow: Was I right or wrong?
Side of the Eye: Good or bad?
Under the Eye: I’m trying to decide on the future.
Under the Nose: Do I set a boundary…
Chin: Or be compassionate?
Collarbone: What if I could be in the present…
Under the Arm: And stop twisting myself up in knots?
Top of the Head: I am ok, and I bet “we” will be, too.

Take a deep breath.

We tend to look at things like this as black and white. But you can be compassionate and have boundaries. Imagine saying something like “Sweetheart, I know you’re upset and I want to give you support and space to work through this, but I don’t want to be snapped at. Please don’t take your anger out on me.” How does that feel?

A lot of us were taught to hide what we’re feeling because we’re ashamed or fear it might be used against us. But there is power in speaking the truth. You might encourage her to use her words–to say “I am angry and I feel scared” rather than acting it out on those closest to her–if you feel that’s helpful. And you can model that for her in the future if you want.

Sharing emotions honestly can be really healing. So often we hide them to “protect” those around us, and they end up coming out sideways and hurting the very people we wanted to shield. Learning to have boundaries and be compassionate at the same time can be challenging, but this skill can make you a master at friendship, parenting and relationships!

If you want to learn more about boundaries, and feeling safe enough to share your feelings, our Free Yourself Program is a great choice. We’d love to help you transform your relationships, too!

I have Celiac Disease. I’ve been avoiding foods that trigger the symptoms, but it’s challenging. Is there some tapping I can do to help improve how my body processes food? –Wendy

When we have a lot of stress because of past traumas or current overload, our bodies have less energy to digest and to process energies (including foods) that aren’t a perfect fit for us.

As you keep tapping on old traumas and make changes now to reduce your stress, you may find your body regaining its resiliency and not being overwhelmed by small things. In the mean time, it’s great that you’re trying to listen to what is easy for your body to digest. The more you can sooth and comfort, the easier your path can be. Reducing the overall stress on your body can make it easier to process the old traumas or find new ways to relax here and now.

You might try EFT tapping on something like this:

Karate Chop: Even though my body is reacting to so many foods, I thank it for all it’s done for me and all the stress it’s been holding. I let it know I’m listening now… and I’m going to help it rather than fight it.

Even though my stomach and intestines are distressed and overwhelmed, I send them comforting energy and appreciation. They’ve been trying to help me digest all this trauma and overwhelm. I’m tapping now to ease this process and allow my system to heal.

Even though certain foods don’t feel good right now, and that is limiting my eating, I thank my body for being so resilient and invite it to heal and reclaim its vitality.

Top of the Head: Sorry stomach and intestines.
Eyebrow: Those energies were hard to digest.
Side of the Eye: But we have tapping now.
Under the Eye: I’m sending you support…
Under the Nose: And love and appreciation.
Chin: Tapping is like digestive tablets…
Collarbone: For the soul.
Under the Arm: You don’t have to do it all alone anymore.

Top of the Head: It was a lot to process.
Eyebrow: No wonder you didn’t have a lot of energy to digest food.
Side of the Eye: I’m here with you now.
Under the Eye: We’re clearing things as we speak.
Under the Nose: It’s going to be better.
Chin: And I do appreciate all you’ve done.
Collarbone: I bet you’re tired…
Under the Arm: But it’s going to be easier from now on.

Top of the Head: I did dump a lot on you.
Eyebrow: I didn’t know what else to do.
Side of the Eye: But I can tap now.
Under the Eye: I can get help.
Under the Nose: We are lightening the load.
Chin: It’s ok for you to process food more easily…
Collarbone: And I’ll try to feed you things that feel good for both of us.
Under the Arm: Thank you for all you do.
Top of the Head: Thank you for healing and supporting me, too.

Take a deep breath.

How does that feel? Does your body like that?

What memories or thoughts came up? Those can be good clues for further tapping.

If your body feels stuck where you are, you may have some old emotions and energies you haven’t moved yet. Our Getting Unstuck audios can give you insights and help  you clear your stuck energies. Get yours today!

Transform Your Emotions with Energy Tapping (EFT)

We respect your privacy.

Free video presentation… see below!

If you want to target the root cause of fears, beliefs, and blocks, Inner Tapping can help. And it is a potent way to unfreeze old traumas still stuck in your energy system.

What is Inner Tapping? It is a technique that guides you back to the original memories and events that created a given mindset. It then releases the “frozen” aspects in the primitive brain and the body-mind. It’s sort of “surrogate tapping for your younger self.” By tapping on the younger you who experienced the event and offering compassion and understanding, new resources become available, and we find ourselves empowered and more free.

If you’re tired of hearing your mother’s nagging voice in your head, or your father’s disapproval every time you start a project, this can be your magic eraser. If part of you is terrified of public speaking because you subconsciously fear the laughter of your kindergarten classmates, and you would like to find relief from that tension, this is the fastest and most thorough way we know of to achieve that.

We invite you to watch the video…  If you cannot watch the video due to a slow internet connection, here is a PDF Document of the presentation and MP3 Audio File.

If you are interested in how the brain stores trauma so you can change the way you live your life, we recommend our free companion video: Trauma and the Primitive Brain.

Links in the presentation:
- Introduction to Energy Tapping (EFT)
- Grounding Exercises
- Trauma and the Primitive Brain Video
- Thriving Now Team – Group Coaching Program

Links to other resources:
- Dr. Robert Scaer
- Karl Dawson, Matrix Reimprinting
- Our Matrix Reimprinting Interview with Karl Dawson
- Shirley Jean Schmidt

Cathy and Rick’s skillful and tender use of Inner Tapping – tapping on one’s frozen, younger parts – is helping me find my way back to me, scene by scene, big T trauma by little t trauma. With their help, I’ve been picking up, warming and breathing new life into misplaced pieces of Paula. Seems those little rebels, who had been blocking me in areas of abundance and creative expression, had been crying out to be heard and healed. — Paula Graham

Transform Your Emotions with Energy Tapping (EFT)

We respect your privacy.

Free video presentation… see below!

Would you ask a 3-year-old what house to buy? Do you ask a 5-year-old who to date? If you have unresolved traumas from when you were 3- or 5-years-old, these frozen memories may have more impact on these adult decisions than you might think. You can find out what might be blocking you by watching this 14-minute video…

Most people think of “trauma” as nasty car accidents, muggings, child abuse, and war. But to a 3-year-old, Mommy suddenly “disappearing” because of a new job can be traumatic if the child feels rejected or abandoned.

Being ridiculed at Show-and-Tell can affect how we hold ourselves in public, sometimes for the rest of our lives… if we don’t release the frozen pain of that experience.

“Small” traumas can affect our self-worth, our sense of safety, how much love we allow in, and how abundant we feel.

Traumas change our vibration… often below the level of consciousness (and thus, by the Law of Attraction, they affect what we draw into our life.)

Why is that? What is going on and how do we change this?

We have put together a video sharing how big and little traumas are held in the body and mind, and how we can release them.

If you cannot watch the video due to a slow internet connection, here is a PDF Document of the presentation and a MP3 Audio File.

Next, let’s talk about how to use Inner Tapping to help. (Click link for the companion video.)

Links in the presentation:
- Introduction to Energy Tapping (EFT)
- Grounding Exercises
- Inner Tapping (companion video)
- Thriving Now Team – Group Coaching Program

In our last post, we answered a question about fears coming up as we step outside our comfort zones.

For most people, the internalized warnings, fears and limiting beliefs from childhood still strongly influence us here and now.

Some of those messages are valid and useful today:
- Look both ways before you cross the street.
- Don’t stick your finger in the light socket.
- Eating all your Halloween Candy in one sitting may be fun, but you may not feel good after.

But some of those messages don’t apply at ALL anymore. They were useful direction back then, but they can steer you wrong and hold you back now. The rules we learned are about a different time and place, and if we hold onto them, the internal conflicts will prevent you from creating what you want with ease and delight.

A common phrase kids hear is “Don’t talk to strangers.” But how many of us talk to “strangers” every day as part of our job and everyday life? If we followed this rule, it would be hard to be successful at work, make new friends, or even get the plumbing fixed!

When we decide to try something new, our brain will often bring up all of these old messages. This can create fear and uncertainty, and we may hesitate before taking the next step. If you know that the data is outdated, it can help you choose which messages to pay attention to (fingers in light sockets, for example), and which ones to thank and pass on by.

It may help to think of the messages from these fearful parts as  outdated weather reports.

At the time your brain “recorded” the message, it seemed true. There was a large tornado/hurricane/ice storm/blizzard heading toward you. It made sense to hide in the tornado shelter. But you did survive, and the tornado is passed.

You may have decided at 5 that it was safer and better to be really quiet and never ask for what you want. And that may have been a really smart coping mechanism in that place and time. But as an adult, not speaking up or sharing what feels good to you can hurt your marriage, your career, your friendships, and even your relationship with yourself.

Would you listen to a recording of last week’s (or last decade’s) weather report, no matter how dire it was, and feel panicked? Run for the tornado shelter? Probably not.

You can do the same for these old fear messages. You can look at them and decide if they fit for you or not NOW. (Because we tend to believe what we believe, this is a place where a coach or tapping buddy can make a big difference giving you clarity and support.) You can certainly acknowledge the wisdom that went into creating the rule in the first place (and tap to release it)! But you can also know that it doesn’t apply to this situation.

It’s 105 degrees in Dallas right now. Listening to last February’s weather report (with ice, snow and minus 14 degree days) would have you in a parka, mittens and a scarf. NOT a pretty picture! It would be unhealthy and very unpleasant. Yet many of us go through life with last years parka and mittens. It makes it hard to enjoy and connect with now.

What old weather reports are you listening to? What rules do you follow that are outdated and no longer useful? Feel free to drop us an email and let us know. And if you’re ready to start updating your messages and rules, we want to help! Whether you do private coaching, join our group coaching program, or work though our Self-Sabatage program (self-sabotage is often caused by outdated rules!), we hope you can find the freedom to let go of that old parka and frolic on the beach now. Would you listen to a recording of last week’s (or last decade’s) weather report, no matter how dire it was, and feel panicked? Run for the tornado shelter? Probably not. Yet our old rules often have us acting just as strangely NOW!

After all the progress I’ve made with tapping, I suddenly find myself feeling more afraid and intense. I have a lot of mental noise, and fear, and I’m afraid to move forward, just when I thought I was ready to take the next step. What’s going on? What if I’m like this for the rest of my life?! — Tina

It is frightening when you feel like you’re losing ground. It may help to realize a lot of us have felt the same way.

As we heal and get stronger, we learn that we can make positive changes. This is empowering and it feels really good.

Certain parts of us may have given up years ago. They may have shut down, with no hope of finding relief, leaving those aspects of us numb and out of touch.

I’ve been tapping and sometimes it helps me feel better. But my life feels like crap and bad things keep happening to me. I keep hoping if I make everyone else happy, they’ll have time for me, but it doesn’t work. I spent several days with a friend, helping and listening to her, but we never talked about my stuff. And my husband decided to go with us when we went out. He wanted to drive and he’s a bad driver- I was terrified the whole time! This keeps happening over and over. Nothing is going right. Why do people keep walking all over me? — Abigail

There comes a point where you either decide to keep doing the same things over and over… or you choose to try something different.

We understand you’ve been under a lot of stress. We know you’re hurting. But did you ask your friend for support?  If you don’t have the power to say to your friend, “I want to talk about my stuff now”… to at least ask for help, it may not be all on her shoulders. People can’t read minds. Is it possible your friend doesn’t know you wanted to talk? Or, is just used to the way things have been between you?

What forces you to get in the car with your husband when he drives? If he insists, why go with him? Let him face his bad driving himself…

When did you learn you had to please others to be safe? Doing some inner tapping on those memories can give you more freedom and open your heart and mind to new possibilities.

If you give away all your power, people will take it. They might not even realize they’re doing it or that you want something different.

When did you decide you couldn’t have power? When did you decide you were powerless and at the whim of everyone else? Tapping on those beliefs and fears is important because until that shifts and you’re able to claim some of your own power, life is going to be pretty crappy.

You have an aspect of you that does have hope and a bit of power. She is tapping and wrote us asking for help. Can you ask that part of you to help you say no? To stand up for you?

Here are some suggestions for EFT tapping. Of course, tap on this only if this feels right for you. (You need to be responsible for your safety and well-being.)

Karate Chop: Even though I feel completely powerless and I hurt badly, I don’t want to stay here and I ask the part of me who knows how to reclaim my power to help me.

Even though I’m used to being powerless and giving in to all their demands and needs, I choose to reclaim my own power now, bit by bit.

Even though it terrifies me to do this, I can either step forward or stay stuck, and I’m tired of staying here hurting. I’m the only one who can change this, and I’m the only one who feels my pain. I ask the Universe to help, but I need to take the steps.

Top of the Head: They have all the power.
Eyebrow: They walk all over me.
Side of the Eye: I hate how this feels.
Under the Eye: But I gave away my power.
Under the Nose: I did it long ago.
Chin: It wasn’t safe to have it then.
Collarbone: But I can have my own power now.
Under the Arm: I choose to take steps to reclaim it now.

Top of the Head: I’ve felt adrift at the whims of others.
Eyebrow: I choose to STOP now.
Side of the Eye: I do have a choice.
Under the Eye: I can give my power away or…
Under the Nose: I can claim it and say NO.
Chin: I’m tired of being pushed around.
Collarbone: I’m tired of struggling to find a place to stand.
Under the Arm: I claim my own worth and power now.

Top of the Head: They may not like it.
Eyebrow: I’ve been trained to please.
Side of the Eye: I choose to please MYSELF now, too.
Under the Eye: It’s ok if they’re unhappy.
Under the Nose: I claim my happiness, too.
Chin: It’s not my job to make them happy.
Collarbone: They may think so…
Under the Arm: But that’s their problem.
Top of the Head: I claim my life and my power, and ask the powerful part of me to help me.

Take a deep breath.

See what comes up and continue tapping if it feels right. You can start reclaiming your power in small amounts right now. You don’t have to be blown around by his whims.

If it doesn’t feel safe to take this step forward, get some help. You may need an expert to help you find the threads of your own power and self expression.

You may also find our program Free Yourself from Inner Confusion and Fear: A Practical Guide to Emotional Clarity helpful. In it, we help you discover safety and boundaries… key knowledge to claiming your own power! We also offer private EFT coaching sessions.

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We often ask people what they feel needs to change so they can feel free…

About 50% of them include weight loss, being slender or thin, in their answer. But unless you change the emotions, you can lose all the weight you want and still be just as stuck and unhappy as you are now… whatever your weight is.

Yes, a lot of excess weight can pose a problem physically — it can be hard to get around and fit into restaurant chairs and airplane seats, but the emotional baggage is important, too.

A lot of times we blame our weight for everything that’s wrong in our lives. We think we’ll be happy and free if ONLY we were thin. But we’re creating a fantasy person.

Even if someone loses 100lbs, they will still sometimes have bad breath and bad hair days. They will still be grouchy and tired sometimes. They still hurt at times.

A lot of people have created this fantasy that being slender will fix all their problems. Is that true for you? You can test to see…

Imagine you are as slender and fit as you dream you could be. Get as tuned into that picture as you can. See if you can “visualize” the sounds, smells, and physical feeling of being “her” or “him”. You may want to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Looking at her… do you envision someone who is completely confident and carefree? Someone who doesn’t get her heart broken or lose her car keys in the morning? If so, you have created a story that isn’t true.

And the really cool thing is, you can work on feeling confident and carefree, no matter if you’re losing weight or not! In fact, for a lot of people, it is the releasing of the blocks to self-confidence and happiness that finally allows them to naturally move to a more pleasing weight…not the other way around.

The fantasy we create is really attractive. It’s easier to blame the weight for our unhappiness (and our society does place a lot of blame and judgement on weight) than to dig into our subconscious and find and release the blocks that are holding us in place. The problem is, if we don’t release those blocks, we can force our bodies to a size 2 and still be radically miserable! And as soon as we stop forcing and dieting, our body will rebound… and then some. Hence yo-yo dieting.

If you can build a connection with your body and learn to love it, you can be happy and fulfilled NOW and as you lose weight and when you’ve lost the weight.

And you won’t have to fight your body to do it. You’ll naturally flow there.

Freedom isn’t numbers on a scale or on the label inside your pants. It’s a state of being.

If this makes sense to you, try tapping on this:

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to lose weight to be free and loved, I’m choosing to feel loved and find my freedom NOW, no matter what my weight is.

Even though I thought I had to lose weight to reclaim my body and my life, I choose to reclaim it NOW and love my body into health rather than forcing it.

Even though I’ve felt trapped, and I blamed the weight, I can tap and release the blame and the blocks that have been keeping me stuck. I choose freedom and delight NOW.

Top of the Head: I thought I had to wait.
Eyebrow: I had to be thin… FIRST.
Side of the Eye: Then I would be free.
Under the Eye: Then I would be lovable.
Under the Nose: What if I’m lovable NOW?
Chin: Why do I need to wait?
Collarbone: I’m tired of being stuck.
Under the Arm: I want to feel free and loved.

Top of the Head: I don’t feel free.
Eyebrow: But maybe it’s not about the weight.
Side of the Eye: I know there are some fears tucked away…
Under the Eye: And the weight protects me from facing them.
Under the Nose: What if I gathered my courage…
Chin: And got some loving support,
Collarbone: And faced those fears now?
Under the Arm: I would feel freer!

Top of the Head: I’ve been blaming the weight.
Eyebrow: But it’s just there to protect me.
Side of the Eye: When I don’t need all that insulation…
Under the Eye: My body can release the weight easily.
Under the Nose: I choose to release those fears.
Chin: I choose to reclaim my freedom.
Collarbone: I’m going to start loving me today.
Under the Arm: I can love myself now…
Top of the Head: And enjoy my freedom as I lose this weight.

Take a deep breath.

How does this feel? What came up for you?

Our Group Coaching Program is a great place to get support and guidance reclaiming your freedom and transforming your fears. We welcome you and look forward to working with you as you transform your beliefs and become the confident, happy being you’ve always dreamed of!