Can I tap on myself to help another person?

Sure! It is called “surrogate tapping.”

Surrogate tapping with EFT means to tap on yourself or another person to help someone else. It is often used when the person is a baby who may not like the tapping sensation, for someone who is distant from us physically, for a person who would find the physical tapping painful, or when someone is hospitalized and cannot be visited by the practitioner.

There are many different derivatives of surrogate tapping. I’ll share with you want I do for babies and small children.

1) I ask them, either in spirit or words, “Would you like me to tap FOR you?” And I wait for a sense to proceed or not.
—In spirit when approached with love and compassion, I have found the answer to be almost universally yes. But not always and not every time for the same person. For example, I wanted to tap to help a loved one and her unborn child. The answer perceived by my inner guidance was “not yet.” After she went into the hospital, the answer was yes, PLEASE. I accept the mystery of it all, and trust that when the answer is yes, I will at least do no harm. When the answer is no, I trust that the person is being loved and supported in some other way on their journey.

2) If present in person, I tap myself while talking and keeping eye contact where possible. “Even though I am really angry about this pain in my belly, I am still a great baby!”  “Even though I am so frustrated I can’t relax and fall asleep, I am still an awesome and deeply loved child.” Words like that. The standard “I deeply and completely accept myself” is good, too. I sometimes close my eyes, and imagine the child and myself with a unified energy field as I tap, or sometimes sending a flow of healing energy to the person.

3) I let go of my ego’s need to see a change. This is the hard one, because we so often will see a dramatic change immediately. But sometimes, the work is outside the realm of time and space. If we need to see immediate results, we’ll often either deceive ourselves or give up too soon. This is where a strong sense of intuition and purpose helps tremendously. I’m either directed to do the tapping or I am not. My responsibility is to give my all, my presence, and all the Love I can call forth to the person in that moment. I am blessed in the doing and being in that place. What manifests next I am curious to see, but it is an interplay of that person’s free will and God’s grace; it’s not something I control.

I believe that surrogate tapping is a highly energized form of “moving prayer.” And its effects are similarly manifest. I know, for example, that my Mom prayed for me all the time when I was suffering. And while I would have loved to heal earlier and quicker or have avoided the pains altogether, that would have deprived me of experiences that continue to bear fruit for me, my family, and my clients. Yet, my Mom’s prayers gave me energy to heal, when the time was right, and I had experienced what I needed to experience. Even in the darkest moments, the “room” was never completely dark. Mom’s light was always there, somewhere. And I knew it.

Is surrogate tapping scientific?
There have been many studies done on the power of prayer, some show benefits even when the people did not know they were being prayed for. When we hold a positive intention for another, that is in alignment with their desire and choice to heal, I say that it is in perfect agreement with experiments in quantum physics and the unified field that shows that the intention and expectation of the observer/experimenter has an effect on the outcome of the experiment. We exist on many levels, from our subatomic particles through our biochemistry, DNA, physical form, and ultimately out to where we join with the rest of the Uni-verse and are part of the One Song.

Nonetheless, surrogate tapping has its skeptics. But I’ve seen enough proof in my own work with clients to trust that sometimes it is absolutely useful. I remember a disturbed 11 year old girl. She had been abused growing up, and now was with an adopted family. She wouldn’t let me touch her, and she wouldn’t tap for herself. But I remember as I tapped, looking into her eyes:

“Even though I am really, really, really angry with my Mom, I am still a GREAT KID.”
“Even though Mom gets really, really angry with me, I am still a GREAT KID who Mom loves so much.”

Each time I said “great kid,” something inside her glowed. While some of the behaviors Mom wanted to change didn’t change, and I haven’t worked with her again since, I’ve heard that things are a bit better for her now. I don’t claim the surrogate tapping made the difference. What I do believe is that we all need to hear that someone “deeply and completely accepts us” despite what ugly disguise we’re wearing. Surrogate tapping is a way to share the expression that even though I’m not feeling good right now, I can and should deeply and completely accept who I am.