by Cathy Vartuli
I hated feeling awkward growing up. I thought something was wrong with me. I kept hoping that if I tried hard enough, learned enough, healed enough, I wouldn’t feel that uncertain, uncomfortable feeling ever again. Does this sound familiar to you?
EFT / Tapping can certainly help us feel more calm and grounded. It can ease the fears we have about starting something new. Moving forward becomes more about curiosity rather than dread and anxiety. Those shifts are delightful!
We can also change the way we look at awkward, so we don’t feel like a failure when we feel uncomfortable and out of place. We can change our way of measuring how healed and ready we are to move forward…
The truth is, most people feel awkward and unsure some of the time.
Especially when we try to do something new, it’s natural to feel uncertain. So maybe, when we’re feeling awkward, nothing is wrong. Maybe awkward is simply a sign that we’re doing something new and creating a new path for ourselves!
When I first heard this concept, I was confused. It turned my beliefs upside down. I had looked at all those confident kids in junior high, and I thought, “They must always feel good!” I wanted that! But I was looking at an illusion. It was just a picture I painted, a picture that had nothing to do with who those kids really were inside.
In order to feel like I thought those kids looked, I backed away from anything that made me feel awkward (if I could). So my world became smaller and smaller. I didn’t approach people I wanted to talk to. I thought if I was feeling awkward, I was already a failure, and they wouldn’t want to hang out with a failure!
Even if I did try new things, I felt bad about myself whenever I felt uncertain. That internal judgment and resistance made it tiring to try anything outside my comfort zone.
Luckily, I found some people who shared authentically about who they were and what they felt. I started seeing that even the most confident, outgoing person has feelings of uncertainty and awkwardness sometimes. And I started transforming my views about what awkward feelings really mean.
It wasn’t always easy at first. I had to remind myself and do some tapping. And as crazy as it seems, I’m starting to look forward to feeling awkward! It means that I’m doing something new, something I’ve never integrated into my comfort zone before.
I love growing and learning. Do you? Wouldn’t it be lovely to be able to experience new things without the self-judgment and resistance of blaming yourself for feeling awkward?
Here’s some tapping to get you started. It doesn’t matter where you are along this journey, tapping along can give you new perspectives and insights into what may have been holding you back… and reveal to you where you can fine tune and clear out so you can try new things with more ease!
Karate Chop: Even though I HATE feeling awkward, maybe I made that decision a long time ago when times were different and I didn’t have all the information.
Even though no one ever modeled being openly awkward before, if everyone feels it, maybe I can own it, and accept myself just where I am.
Even though I thought I was wrong for feeling awkward, I wanted to be just like those people on TV, who never make a single mis-step… NOW I want to be me, not an actor in my own life. So maybe it’s ok to feel awkward and not run dress rehearsals over and over again before every move I make.
Top of the Head: I do feel awkward sometimes.
Eyebrow: I thought it meant I was a bad person.
Side of the Eye: I thought it mean I was doing a bad job.
Under the Eye: Maybe it just meant I was doing something new…
Under the Nose: It was awkward when I learned to tie my shoes.
Chin: My first kiss was awkward!
Collarbone: I don’t have to stay feeling awkward.
Under the Arm: I’m good at learning!
Top of the Head: I’ll get better and better at this new thing.
Eyebrow: And I’ll feel less awkward.
Side of the Eye: And then maybe I’ll try something new…
Under the Eye: Or meet a new person…
Under the Nose: And I’ll feel awkward all over again!
Chin: At least for a little while…
Collarbone: And that’s ok!
Under the Arm: I can feel awkward and still accept myself.
Top of the Head: I was CONVINCED awkward is bad.
Eyebrow: I’m open to changing my interpretation of awkward.
Side of the Eye: It just means something is new…
Under the Eye: And I’m learning!
Under the Nose: I love to learn.
Chin: I love to grow!
Collarbone: So maybe awkward is a great thing!
Under the Arm: If I’m feeling awkward…
Top of the Head: I’m exploring new land, and becoming a stronger person!
Take a deep breath.
What do you notice? What is coming up for you around “awkward”?
You may remember certain times in your past when you felt out of place and unsure. You may want to imagine tapping with your younger self and reassuring that part of you that everything is ok. You might invite that younger you to tap along with the script above, with you.
When we can embrace the uncertainty of doing something new, we get new freedom and abundance in our loves. Awkward feelings may be the compass needle pointing toward your next adventure!
Rick: Some new ideas change us, and this radical notion that AWKWARD is OKAY is one that has enhanced my life considerably in just the past half year. I admit that when I used to feel awkward, I believed that I must be “doing it wrong!” Now, my inner interpretation is that “I’m learning and exploring something/someone new… RIGHT NOW!”
It’s made meeting new people easier. It has emboldened me to take up contact improv dance!
What might you do if you let go of the negative self-judgment and let awkward be okay?
Cathy and I discussed this topic and did a lot more tapping as part of our Breaking Out of Your Shell series with Reid Mihalko. If you want to finally feel free to express yourself, we encourage you to purchase this program. As always with us, you have a 30-day money back guarantee.
If you purchase the program right now, I’m also personally offering a 20-minute coaching session by phone or Skype where you get to name the price. (Regularly $67). I know what it is like to feel suppressed, to feel hindered in being YOURSELF. Hey, we’re all weird! Let’s come together to delight in our uniqueness. Once you purchase the program, you can schedule your session at the link below. Choose “Donation 20” from the menu. Obviously, my time is limited, so once my schedule for September fills up, the offer will close.